Fools Fitness

They Killed Granny + Picture Touring Paloosa

2011-09-12T09:51:00.000-07:00

The bike shop killed my granny! With less than 1000 miles on my Raleigh Venture I messed up the back wheel, 6 spokes broke and a bad brake cable to boot. In fairness you’ve got to figure I weigh like twice an average weight person and add in doctor’s notes and medical records being a bike messenger in my mail pouch means that bike likely say somewhere around 350+ pounds. Moreover, my riding is lots of stress on a wheel, from accelerating, braking, and weaving. I wouldn’t say I pummel the bike, but it has seen a bit of “air” occasionally jumping a curb in an emergency as well as a bit of gravel trail riding. Still, I think I’m a bit disappointed with the quality of the stock rims.
A picture of my mighty bicycle in front of some mighty impressive artwork that some very skilled artist did on a wall in Portsmouth NH. I wish I could say it was my art but it's not. It's very Rockwell isn't it? Nice work!

Back to the death of my granny… the bike shop was originally going to replace the spokes but it looked like they needed to remove outside spokes to get to inside ones… in short heavy labor. So they bike shop guy finds a used wheel that he swapped in to save me a bit of cash. They set back was the wheel has a gear set that has a much higher ratio “granny gear” (the lowest gear I use a fair amount of the time to pedal fast but easy to make it up steep hills.) the new gear ratio “feels” like 1st is now 2nd or maybe even 2.5? Going downhill or flats I can really boogie though! So all that celebrating on those hard hills… well, it’s like the hills just got a bit steeper! I tried my hardest hill I made before and could still do it with a light load but I was puffing like a cog steam engine climbing Mount Washington!!!

I went to the Fair and saw a smash up derby!!!
The wild thing is they stopped the derby when the car had got hit so hard it flipped on it's side. a bunch of guys pushed it back over and it started back up and continued!!!
At the end of summer I’ve tried to get in a bit of activity and local travel. Wow time flies since I posted (sorry about that!) but I’ve got to Portsmouth (The seacoast of New Hampshire) and to Hopkinton State fair and saw my first live demolition derby. Got to love watching people senselessly pummeling automobiles into each other over and over until they won’t move! What’s not cool about that? Of course I ate too much… but holding at about 306ish right now. Along this journey I like to drop more weight but I’m glad to say I’m more fit and doing more activities. The other pictures are from the seacoast in Portsmouth.

A image from Portsmouth waterfront... an area that's neat.

At Foolsfitness we encourage people to wreck their cars, (just not by running into us)!- Alan

Kick the Ball Charlie Brown!

2011-08-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

One of the hills going out of town has mocked my bicycle riding skills forever. It’s reasonably steep but fairly long as well. I always run out of steam about half way up the hill. Yet like Charlie Brown wanting to kick that football, futile attempt after futile attempt each time I get another pedal stroke higher up the hill before giving out.

Yesterday was different. I decided to ride up the hill to the top to rent a dvd movie and as always tried to find the balance between getting enough run on the hill, yet not exhausting myself. Three quarters up the hill I had to stop pedaling but in a few gasps of air I still had a bit of momentum… a bit shocked I figured why stop there and put my head down as my heart was threatening to pound out of my chest I pushed on. ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP! I was really too tired to celebrate at the finish.

When I made it back home I needed a nap! (And a major shower!) Forgive the "recycled" art I did from one of my other postings but I'm really still tired a day later. I seriously red lined.

Gee, I only have like two more hills in the whole town that I can’t make it up! Those however I don’t think many people can. But you never know. Keep trying to kick the football Charlie Brown, someday it might just work!

At Foolsfitness We officially race bicycles… to the corner store for sodas and candy bars!- Alan

Stalemate?

2011-08-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

I finally saw a number on the scale this morning that wasn’t between 297-300… the unofficial 294.5 beats that wall I’ve been hitting for the last few weeks. I also for the first time in a while can say yesterday I ate reasonably balanced and in somewhat sane amounts.

Last week’s planned trip to race had a bit of a twist. I got misinformation and the flat oval I had been training for and ready to ride on was NOT the course. They had a race they refer to as the “frontier” which takes the bicycles all over up and down hills and corners everywhere. I’ve made progress here but getting my mass up a hill is still a challenge, never mind trying it at any reasonable speed! But I came to ride and I figured I would give it a go.

I got in about three laps and decided to not officially run the race. There was one point that whips down a hill into a 90 degree switchback left and immediately uphill. I’m white knuckled hauling downhill to start and then throw in the sharp curve and need to switch gears for a climb… insane! It was a very creative course but best left to more serious bicycle racing professionals than my current skill set! I retired the bike and waited until the end of the race and went back out on the course to use up the last slivers of sunlight. The course is such a maze that on my own I took a wrong turn someplace and ended up a bit lost. All in all about 7 miles, which doesn’t seem like a lot but they were rather very intense miles. At points of climbs I was seriously doing my Darth Vader imitation.

The flat oval course is today. Alas as much as I really want to go and do what I planned I think it may not happen as coming up with travel costs and track fees for two times in two weeks rather pushes my budget uncomfortably. I feel a bit defeated, but I wouldn’t have imagined even thinking of trying the “frontier” this time last year. Maybe it will be a goal for next year but I doubt I will try to run it but I have to admit that the course was somewhat terrifying with watching out for other cyclists too. Even watching I saw some very close calls with guys who run it seriously, a near crash and multiple missed shifts and pedal slip offs.

At Foolsfitness we are not sure if we are winning or losing, We are not even sure which side we are playing on!- Alan

Off to the Races! Again!

2011-07-28T10:12:00.001-07:00

Last year I had a goal of “showing up” at the New Hampshire Cycling Club oval race at New Hampshire International Speedway Nascar Track to ride. I had a goal to just try to ride a few miles… I think in the end I had ridden almost 12 miles. I remember at the end I thought I was going to collapse and pass out. I was proud I peddled my little sears and roebuck 10 speed so far though. I was so determined to ride last year I borrowed a friends jeep when my car broke down to get to the track.

What a difference a year makes. Last night one of my “training rides” came in just under 14 miles. This time last year I think I was about 8 or 9 pounds lighter, but my fitness level has jumped by a huge margin. This year the “goal” is to actually finish the distance or at least ride 18-20 miles. Next year maybe, just maybe it will be able to keep up with the other riders! Last year I actually won my racing Class, however there is the slight detail of being the only rider actually in “D” class (For the beginners, “A” being serious athletes, “B” being just a bit slower than them) I always joke that “D” class indicates a speed of “D” for dead… how fast dead people can go?

So what’s with the picture you ask? It’s a gift from a friend. It’s an old Peugeot Corbier road bike. This friend knew I was looking for something a bit higher quality than my current road bike I nicknamed “Frankenstein” because it’s built from four parts bikes. This new (well old) French bike is lighter and we will test it by fire at the race track to see how we work as a team!!! I just got it this morning! The friend got it off a Church Auction for $25. It's bigger than my car!!!

Tune in soon for the next post the race results. Well, “race” is a strong word… for the ride results as all the others pass me twice on each lap!

At Fools fitness we just want to know one thing, “Are You Going to Eat That?” - Alan

I'm Hungry!

2011-07-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

1 caboose, two cabice? Ca-boos-see'? How about a whole lot of em?!

I wish I could say I have eating right down pat as it’s still elusive. (As Rettakat mentioned if I had that I’d have this weight thing whooped in short order!) My bicycle riding miles have just gone through the roof lately… Nearing 200 miles just this month alone. A ride with a bicycling partner on Tuesday for 19 miles plus my daily miles bumped it to over 30. We ended the ride in the dark with our little blinky lights and headlights on. If you look close I’ve got a new (rather old) teardrop light on the bike I traded for. It’s heavy but it looks just so darn cool! I’m thinking to convert it to LED lights to extend the battery life.

Today I’m riding my racer 10 speed “Frankenstein” for a bit, but it’s too hot to really rack up any serious miles. I chose it this morning just because I’m not wanting to carry the heavy Boba bike up and down the stairs. I unofficially weighed at about 296.5 today this morning mostly keeping an eye out for water drops trying to stay the same weight drinking water. The bank thermometer only said 89 but I’m dripping with sweat.

A rail trail caboose yard in Tilton, NH is one picture and the other is the bridge that spans the river between Franklin and West Franklin NH. I did this ride last week but took the bus again because now I explored I wanted to ride the trail both ways and go a little further out. The ride between Northfield and Franklin is a great one; my only wish was it was longer!

I found another rail trail that went from 140 to the edge of Tilton Main street but be fore warned that if you try it on bicycle that there are *many* areas washed out by draining water, I had to creep along through it and in one spot I didn’t dare drop the tire off the edge through a pot hole but inched over walking it.

You might want to pass on congrats to Lisa at http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/ if I read it right she just past the 100 pounds off mark! WOW!

My current numbers are around 45 off since the start (actually lost the same weight twice now! It’s sort of 80 pounds off?) and roughly 16 pounds up from lowest in blog. I wonder if this picture has anything to do with it… that bike in front of the Chinese food place looks awful familiar?! (Hey, at least I rode there?)
At fools fitness we are always tempted to put on a baseball card in the spokes of our bicycles to get the little clicky sound! - Alan

Am I Reading Your Blog?

2011-07-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

We are in this together! Please share a note about your weight or fitness blog in the comment section of this post. We are in this war on fat to fitness together! I’d hate to thinkI was missing checking out your blog. Now the disclaimer if we need one… Foolsfitness doesn’t “endorse” any products (I don’t do any magic diets or super suppliments) nor will I offically endorse blogs per say I don’t think but I do want to share in reading your trials, ideas, adventures, and journey into better fitness and a healthy weight ... I draw a lot of inspiration from you, as well as encouragement and ideas from your comments! So share a link to your weight/ health… even Art blogs! ( But please *don’t* put up links to porn thanks.)

So the current adventures have me off with the Granite State Wheelmen for a ride a couple of days ago for 23 miles with them. After I casually did another 4 to cool down and stretch. (that tank picture was taken along the ride)The day after I tried doing a rail trail in Derry NH I had done last year.

If you’ve followed my blog somehwere last year I think I posted a picture of this little tunnel from the other side. I always think of a hobbit hole. The pond area was also taken along that ride.
Things I learned on a group ride. I need to bring extra-extra water! I’m thinking having a gallon jug in the car might not even be over kill. Of course over these couple of days I did see temps at 95 degrees at 4pm too (OUCH!) My first ride with the GSW was good. I even held my own with the “Turtle group” (Slowest group), didn’t come in last, and even helped someone fix a double derailed chain.

Right now I’m unoffically hovering about 4 lbs up from last weigh in… I’ve been extremely active but not watching what I eat at all. I’m attempting to get back on track with that. In the last 7 days I think I went over 80 miles total. Of course for “real” bicycle riders that could be a day but I think it’s a pretty big accomplishment. I’m also slowly repairing and upgrading my 12 speed frienze whioch now is a ten speed because the used rear hub was 5 cogs and not six. I’m nicknaming the blue bike “frankenstein” as it’s got three other bikes parts on it now. I bought a new tire but am trying to build up the courage to take the other one off.

Don’t forget to leave a comment and mention your blog, leave a link (I think they let you?) if I find it goes to spam I’ll try to restore it. Maybe this post can be an unoffical link hub? Again please no links to something you wouldn’t want your mother to be seeing!

Foolsfitness… the emerging cyclomaniac!? - Alan

Fools Fitness Adventurer Extraordinaire

2011-07-14T08:07:00.000-07:00

As promised the picture with the tiger written about in last posts, but now on to the next adventure! Firstly, some neat number’s lately. Last official weigh in 298. Last weeks bicycle riding over 60 miles with the biggest single total over a day ride (lots of stops and breaks though) over 31 miles! My weight still fluctuates in such a large range so I think I can really only say that I am flirting with the 290’s. I actually got stopped on the street today by someone who said, ”I’ve been meaning to tell you that you have dropped a lot of weight and are looking good.” As odd as it sounds sometimes those compliments make me a bit nervous. I’m not totally sure why.

(in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s this area was known for being a mill town area getting it’s power to the mills by waterwheels… this I think was what was left of a paper mill that burned down long ago) I love old places and things. Maybe thats why I love old bicycles? It's like I can almost hear whispers of the past.

This is not just about a number on a scale though. It’s about gaining the ability to be able to do new things… and sometimes the courage to do them. I found a local bus that you can take a bicycle on and rode it as far away from my home as I could. Then I took about riding through three towns for an 11 mile or so ride, popping into a couple of flea markets, a library, and then to the main event of the trip… a river bike/pedestrian trail that was an old railroad bed. I didn’t factor one thing though… I was traveling upstream!!! Most of the hills were very mellow but for future reference if you’re following a river downstream might be a bit easier! But if you’re anything like me with dealing with weight you might chuckle as it’s symbolic as it’s an upstream battle getting more fit and healthy. I didn’t ride completely back home on my own peddle power, the last few miles I got a lift back into my town as there is a patch of road that is very busy, narrow, twisty, and has zero shoulders on the side of the road. I’m not sure if I will ever try that stretch, if I did I’m thinking there is small a chance I would end up a hood ornament for a tractor trailer.

If you are out there and are just starting out or on your way in this journey of weight loss and getting fit I hope I can encourage you with this. I have a long long way to go. But in a couple of years even with the ups and downs I’ve gone from barely being able to ride a bicycle for 3 miles to over 30 miles in a day, and over 40 lbs (actually twice). My only special superpower I’ve found so far is the ability to strike fear in the owners of Chinese Food Buffet restarants… If I can do this, just maybe you can too!!! Do it safe and all (have a doctor check you out) but don’t miss out!!! Life isn’t in the fridge. Life is out there, go and see.

(This is not part of the miles you count when you take your bike out for a ride!)

Foolsfitness will sign off for a bit and see what next adventure awaits!- Alan

I Joined the Circus!

2011-07-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

I couldn’t resist a photo of my race bike with the side show booth. You got to admit a 300 pound guy on a road bicycle might just be a bit of an oddity?!

My trip to the circus included me being daring enough to get my photo taken with a real live tiger… Hopefully I can post a copy of it soon (I need to figure out a way to scan it). That tiger and I looked into each other’s eyes, and I was pretty excited, I mean how often to you get to stand next to a tiger less than a foot away?! It was odd. I thought about fear and how it holds us back from so much… sometimes it can protect us, but it also needs to be managed like a adviser, taking it’s suggestions and considering the options.

It was odd in the end that the fear was overcome with excitement, at least for me with the tiger. It’s almost like after we had locked eyes he looked away deciding something. I’d like to think that I had established alpha male or he understood I was no longer a slave to fear but becoming a wild eyed predator of life too! Of course in reality it was likely just bored by all the people for so long over the night and just wanted a cat nap!

As I mentioned to briefly in last post I actually sat in one of those plastic one piece lawn chairs. At the circus you could “upgrade” your ticket for $2 and get ring side. I sat in the bleachers for a long while and saw an empty chair right in the front row… just under the 300 pound mark I decided on courage instead of fear. During the show I was concerned as it wasn’t feeling totally rock stable but it held with no crack or bang or anything.

It was a sweet success to sit in the plastic chair, face a tiger, and just smile and say “no thanks” as vender after vender guy walked by trying to convince me of the need for popcorn, cotton candy, or peanuts.

I think tonight with be an “official” weigh… not sure, I’m thinking over the last couple of weeks I’ve gained and lost again… I predict somewhere around the last weigh number.

At Foolsfitness the circus is always in town!- Alan

Laconia Motorcycle Week Pictures + MORE (Part II)

2011-07-03T11:19:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th! As promised some more pictures from Laconia Motorcycle Week are below. As we celebrate July 4th (Independence Day in the U.S.A.) I’ve been thinking about the freedom from about 45 pounds of fat I am experiencing. It’s all about freedom. It’s called “weight” for a reason. All that extra baggage weighs you down and you just can’t experience some things at certain weights. I think about this new freedom of zipping up a flight of steps, bending over tying my shoes without being completely dizzy, and *YES* riding my bicycles!!! I wonder what the next 45 pounds off will let me do?

Several people have pointed out my evolving love affair with the bicycle. It’s a new freedom, I remember that first time going up one of the steeper hills in my town and having to stop. I couldn’t even keep up with a lady pushing a stroller up the hill… I’ve got a long way to go but I’ve already traded in my double chin for sort of a turkey gobbler neck! Finding bones here and there that are starting to emerge from under all the excess…

Yesterday I did something daring. I joined the circus! Well, not exactly… but in my next post I hope to share and incredible experience of the emerging freedom to be able to do things I just couldn’t plain do 50 pounds heavier. It ends with a real live tiger, (yes I’m serious) that I will tell next time but let me start with this…

Anyone who is big knows the horror of seeing one of those plastic lawn chairs. I’ve even broke one in the past. But not yesterday. I wanted that seat and a little nervous I sat… and… it held. Wait till next time to hear about the real live tiger! Oh, and also my obsession with bicycles that continues!

Yes, at Fools Fitness we bought *another* bicycle! (One was traded as a swap and one was given away to a person in need… now the “fleet” is at 4, that’s two functional and two very close to functional!) Details next post!!!

But now on to those promised pictures of motorcycle week...enjoy! Happy 4th of July to all!!!- Alan
Don't you love it?! I want an M+M motorcycle. Some folks get so creative and the motorcycles are real art
It's hard to really show how many people are in the area... But's it's really elbow to elbow in places. They have rows of motorcycles on both sides of the street and two rows of them right down the middle of the road, (the road is closed to cars in places)
Amazing airbrush paint work on many of them the murals are just incredible!
Again, Happy 4th to everyone!- Alan

Meet Firenze and His Fantastical Tale

2011-06-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

Buy a Stereo and get a FREE bike? I did an internet search for my new (used) bicycle curious about their history. If the lore is true it’s got a neat history. Apparently these bicycles wouldn’t make certain safety specs when they wanted to import them into the USA but somehow found out that they could “give them away” as promotions in some legal loop hole. I’m not sure if it’s true, but I did have the bicycle shop go over it to be safe.

I’m not sure when they say taking your bike out for a ride they mean to carry it? I now know what 90lbs maximum and high pressure tires mean. I’m having to make small adjustments…the new (rather old but new to me) bicycle has thinner tires and higher pressure. I apparently put in 91 pounds? I leaned the bike against the wall, put my pump away and shut the door. The vibration was the hair trigger needed to set off what sounded like a shotgun blast, my rear tube popping, or more vividly exploding the seal ripping a 4 inch hole in the tube, proving once again I still need adult supervision? I had to carry the bicycle on my shoulder back to the bicycle shop to get them to put on another tube.

I spent a bit of the morning putting on one of the two water bottle holders (nicely coordinated with the yellow and blue theme too!) I tried with the other but I think they make the little bolts just a tiny bit shorter than what was needed to fit the bar. After fiddling forever I just gave up on the second until I can get a longer set of bolts. Then I’ll have two water bottle cages just like those racers!!! Next stop bright neon plastic rubber lycra outfits and shaving my legs?! (Well, um likely *NO*)

This 12 speed along with having 2 more gear than the black racer I used to race at the speedway last year also is bigger. It’s taken a bit of getting use to being on your tip toes at a stop light however the ability to stretch your legs better as you peddle I think is making a huge difference in power. I don’t have a speedometer on it yet but I’d say it’s dare fast and may be even more so when I can really develop aerobic endurance. I’m actually only in the easiest 3 gears so far. I can’t fathom the speed (or for that matter the effort to peddle) at the top ones!

This last week an a half has seen some unofficial gains in weight (maybe up to 7-8 pounds?) I haven’t been sticking to a decent food plan or in reasonable volumes. Yesterday was the first day in a while I capped the caloric intake under 2000 calories once more. Really bummed I’ve gained of course but who’s the one to blame for eating ice cream and pizza in vast quantities? Today I did better with something high calorie I kept a reasonable serving size. I’m hoping to get back to something with some reasonable nutritional value too. I won’t “ban” goodies but I also don’t think it’s a good idea to make the funny bones and Doritos your two main food groups!

With a couple of days left to the month I’ve bicycled over 160 miles in June! About 30 more than May! The whole year last year I could barely make 200, so it goes to show if you keep on trying you got a good chance at getting better!

Time to get peddling!- Alan

I Admit It. I Killed Her!

2011-06-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

I swear I didn’t mean to kill her! I don’t know what happened exactly, it was a crime of passion?! I was trying to fix up the old Irish girl, my dear Green Lady and what have I done!!! Now she’s just laying on the garage floor in pieces!!! Maybe she’s not really dead and won‘t really die? But gee the prognosis doesn’t look good! It doesn’t look good at all! There might be a happy ending somehow, right?! It can’t end like this!
I meant to post Part II pictures of Motorcycle week, but I think that will happen next time. I just had to come clean about it and what I have done. This 70’s era vintage Raleigh grand prix 10 speed was a yard sale find last year and it was in horrible shape. The front derailer was rusted frozen as well as the brakes both stuck. The tires were petrified on cracked with the ages to the point I can‘t even read the size of the tires.
Looking for my next goal I was thinking about doing more serious mileage riding on a road bike rather than just on my hybrid bicycle Boba. So I set to work on the old girl. Half a can of spray oil and wrenching I got the old brake cables front and rear off as well as both the seizing brake calipers. For the life of me I reefed and reefed but can’t get the broken seat off yet to fix it.

A trip to my trusty friends at the bicycle shop for parts didn’t go so well. Adding in new tires, replacing the cables, rewrapping the handlebars… I had hoped to do neon green theme to highlight the beautiful green of her paint… the price kept going up and up near the 200 dollar mark. What to do?! To a vagabond like me that’s a serious bundle of cash that isn‘t easy to come up with! Not to mention the couple of races I hope to ride in coming up are going to need entry fees and travel gas…

So I end up sitting on the curb next to the local corner store with a coffee, and trying to work out the plans and goals and praying what to do… if the goals are worth going for. I asked God quietly out loud “How am I going to pay for this?” Then I look down and find a penny and another penny… I laughed, apparently God gave me his two cents about what He thought of my plan?! Then I found another two cents and a dime… coincidence? Perhaps, but I took it as a sign not to give up just yet.

So I went to another Bicycle shop to see if he might have some cheaper supplies from different sources. I saw an old bike in far better shape rust wise with the same old style brake set ups kind of just leaned haphazardly in the corner. Out of curiosity I asked if that one was for sale and how much. He said he’d part with it for $30 then a moment later said, “Naw, actually just take it. The bike needs a bit of tinkering though.” I had to ask him four times *Really*?! She's below... Isn't she pretty?

I’m not sure how this story ends yet because it’s still playing out. The bike shop is doing some very basic stuff to the newer 12 speed including hopefully finding an old junk seat to refit it with or fix it because the other was broken. Hopefully there isn't anything major they find. I’m not sure if the wheels might actually transfer over to the old Raleigh size wise and gear wise. But I also have a basic set of bell cables I got at the department store to try to replace on the old Raleigh. I haven't given up on the Raleigh! Hopefully with all the tinkering one of the two will be ridable and I will have a true skinny tire race bike to replace the old black “shade” that I used last fall to race with, the one with fat sized tires.

Actually since I promised, I will post two pics from motorcycle week to give you a little something till next time. My favorite sign above I spotted at a vendor, “unattended children will be given a shot of tequila and a free puppy” and a shot of a custom bike build modeling show below.

Till next time Fools Fitness Fine Friends- Alan

Laconia Bike Week 2011 Part I

2011-06-20T09:32:00.000-07:00

Going into the Weirs Beach on Lakeside Avenue in Bike week I (perhaps like many celebrities?) got a personal police escort by two bicycle police! I’ve got a few photos to share in this and the next post…This photo was taken on the go as I rode my bicycle behind them via my cell phone camera… gee technically isn’t that distracted riding? Well, anyone who refers to himself as “Fools Fitness” likely needs a bit of adult supervision anyways right?

Today (June 20th) I hit about mile 112 for the month so far on “Boba”, the 7-speed Raleigh Venture… It works out to be about 55 for April, 130 for May and with now I’m around just a touch under the 300 mile mark for the year! Originally, I figured since I did a touch over 200 miles last year to shoot for 300 or 50 miles per riding month this year. At the start of the year that seemed huge, now wildly it was apparently a pretty low figure! I figured 150% of last year would have covered it! Guess not!!!

Keeping on with my bicycle wanting it’s picture taken everywhere possible here is a row of “bikes” I think you can click on the picture to enlarge it. Bike, bike, bike… wait a minute? Hey, they said BIKE week! I can’t help but think of that old Sesame Street song they use to play when I was a kid, “One of these things is not like the other…”

Stay tuned within the week I hope to get some general Motorcycle week photos up. Some of the motorcycles were true artworks. Moreover I tried to get a few shots to get you a feel of how many people were in the area. Stay tuned for more on Laconia Motorcycle Week, hopefully by the end of this week on Foolsfitness!

Now getting back to my riding goal. I think goals are important in what ever it is you do. To have a vision of where you want to go and a future you are working toward. To close your eyes and be able to really envision yourself at a point is critical. It makes walking away from the extra helpings easier.

Last year I had a goal of doing a bicycle race, and a bicycle marathon fundraiser that helped me stay on track… this year was the 300 mark. Now I’m thinking about what’s next. I know there is a neat bicycle race event coming up in September but that is more for serious pros. I’d like to go see it though and maybe have a goal of bringing a bicycle along for a goal of a ride. I’m even pondering about trying to get the “Green Lady” my old yard sale find of a Raleigh 10 speed from the 70’s ready to ride again and back on the tar. She's going to need a lot of TLC.

This last week has been horrible eating choices, and perhaps its time for more of a Zen spiritual goal like bringing back the spirit of that old bike. Without a goal in my mind I drift. What that goal will be I'm not sure yet... but it needs to be there.

At Foolsfitness it’s time for a goal. Then the attempt for the extra point after too?- Alan

Weigh Crazy and Crazy in General

2011-06-13T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hovering on the edge of being in the two hundred some things is driving me a bit more insane than my normal insane! My “official” (IE someone besides me saw it) weigh for last weekend was 301 for another 4 pound drop. WAIT! That number says 299!!! I sort of did it not thinking unprepared with jean shorts on and a belt. As you can see at home I can hover under that magic number… somehow 301 seems so much more than 299!!! Weighing can drive you insane, if you wear the wrong clothes, have eaten or drank something, time of day, need to use the rest room… are wet from a shower?! they all can bounce those darn numbers around!

I’m trying (with some but not perfect success) to focus on weighing ever two weeks and getting off the scale between times. Daily (even multi-times daily) weighs can drive you bonkers.

It’s been a bucket load of oddities lately, travel, rain, super hot weather (I saw the bank thermometer over 80 one night after 8:30 at night!) various stressors… now it’s motorcycle week in the area, and the sleepy little city seems to gain double it’s population for a bit. I couldn’t resist riding my bicycle yesterday even in the mist got in about 13 miles. I headed toward Weirs Beach and kidded some of the people I saw as I peddled along with my bicycle amongst a thousand motorcycles, “I thought this was *Bike* week? I’m so confused!” Or found groups of people sitting on the side of the road watching the motorcycles ride by and I ching chinged my bell to cheers. I got a feeling some of those folks might have had a bit of “liquid encouragement” in them if you follow my meaning.

Hopefully later this week will have a decent day and I can make another trip up there and get a few pictures to share. During my last trip I got a new pair of amber yellow shades and a stretchy cargo net for my bicycle adventures. I’m thinking if I might want to go all out and get a battery powered light for night riding, as some of my rides push the border into sunset.

I’ve gotten to the point where I seem to be collecting pictures of the bicycle with odd things in odd places. One ride recently I got this shot with my Boba bicycle below a rocket in Concord, New Hampshire (In the United States of you are somewhere else in the world that is the state capital and in the northeast of America) I think you can click on the picture to enlarge it or just look close at the base of the rocket and you should see my bicycle

I hope everyone is well and keeping on the road to becoming more healthy- Alan AKA Fools Fitness

Faster Than A Locomotive!

2011-06-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

How fit am I becoming? Well, I’ve started racing trains on my bicycle for sport! The pictures you see are of little two person railroad service cars, I think they are nick named putt-putts. As I was bicycling I bumped into a group of 20 or so on the railroad. A group of people restore them as a hobby. I happen to be riding in the same direction and noticed that if I ground my gears I could actually keep up with them!

Then I thought the game was ON! Being a messenger I knew most of the side streets and where the railroad lines go, I started racing them, me riding the streets and meeting and waving to the group as it passed each railroad crossing. Then I pummeled the pedals of my bicycle Boba to the next crossing down the line. Doing some bicycle messenger work I rarely ride aggressive, but I really let loose for fun sake cutting corners and hopping curbs… I can honestly say I got a tiny bit of air bouncing the bicycle around and used all gears including the very insane top gear. On a flat I can get that cargo bike doing about 17 miles an hour or so for a bit, my max on a downhill is about 34. I’m not certain when the last time was I rode that hard.

So over the next 6 miles or so I met them at about 5 railroad crossings all the way from one side of the city to the other! Once the group saw what I was doing as we ran parallel in some areas they whooped and cheered me on. After that I knew the next crossing was a town away and up a rather long hill so I had to wave goodbye for good. However I can now say I am faster than a locomotive, actually several! OK, not real locomotives… but some small putt putts anyways!

After the “race” I had really pushed my physical limits. I was working at nearly top aerobic level for a good while and a few times crossed to the burn of anaerobic. I bonked my glucose level in my muscles and was on total empty. Moreover I had involuntary muscle spasms twitching and shaking for a good time after. I popped into a convience store for a majorly needed snack and had to hold my cup of soda with both hands so I wouldn’t drop it. It was a hoot… a loss of a bit of dexterity meant I struggled putting the cover on and trying to unwrap a sandwich from the plastic was an awkward endeavor for sure. Where I sat on the curb I literally drenched with sweat. I’m thinking in the future I might carry a couple packets of honey on my bike.

At Foolsfitness we chase cars and trains too, but like dogs wonder what to do with them after we catch ‘em! - Alan

Proud to Be an Idiot!

2011-05-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

Last winter I took a shot of this guy snow blowing. There had been so much snow he didn’t seem to have anywhere to put it… I couldn’t help but think how bizarre it looked to snow blow it all of ½ foot away into a 20 foot tall snow bank! I didn’t use the word “idiot”, but I couldn’t help but laugh and take the picture at what looked like a really futile battle.

This last week we’ve had wonderful bicycle riding weather and I’ve only really stopped because I couldn’t peddle any more… If you ride your bicycle for any distance at all you are very likely to get screamed at by someone in a passing car. This last week I put on one of my best weeks in the saddle with over 60 miles in seven days and actually over 130 miles for the month of May, thus I was bound to get screamed at sometime.

I’m on my cargo bicycle at a stoplight next to a car waiting for green and someone turning screamed, “Get out of the road IDIOT!” To some of you folks this might seem like a horrible thing to happen. However while I did get out of the road it was because I was laughing so hard I almost fell of my bicycle. Why was it so funny to be called an idiot some of you might ask? Most all the time the usual scream of something like “get out of the road” is directly tied to some rude comment about my weight with it. Now, I’m so proud that I’m just another idiot without the vivid and creative weight descriptor!!!

An official weigh in (I call it official because someone besides me witnessed it) hit the scales Sunday at 305! That’s another 5 pounds down since last post or about 7 in the last two weeks. Eyeing the 200’s club again!!! Soon… very soon! I’m an official person again because I no longer max out my digital home scale with the dreaded O.L. but have a number. My scale officially acknowledges I’m human!!!

There is lots’ of positives but a rather large negative. But I think part of the reason for upping my riding is that the relative I mentioned in a post before passed away and I’ve been riding to clear out my mind. I didn’t get to see him in person but I did get a message to him via another relative that was looking over him at the hospital that I was thinking and praying for him. I just couldn’t go remembering what cancer had done to the other relative. I don’t think I will regret it even though I’m sad I couldn’t see him one last time, because I did what I could. His funeral is this week. I will go to that. No funeral is “fun” or “easy” but I expect it will be very hard. He was only 53.

At Foolsfitness we urge you to try to live life more fully each day, because not many of us have forever here.- Alan

Encounter with a 10 Foot Tall Polar Bear!

2011-05-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I wondered around a house built in 1625, went to a wedding, and saw Wild Bill Cody’s signature as well as a four legged baby chicken (it was a genetic mutation) and a 10 foot tall polar bear. I even ended up at a folk concert in the middle of the weekend. Oh yeah, there was also the part where I lost another two pounds since last week!!! About 310 right now. I got to see this very nice museum that had curios of all kinds of odd stuff. I literally walked through the jaw of a sperm whale. I know I’ve gotten a bit smaller but gee, seeing a polar bear that the tip of my head barely makes it to his arm pit and seeing that whale jaw, let’s just say a person would be like an M+M size in our mouths… if that! It makes me feel down right tiny!

This weekend was the first real daring eating on the go I’ve tried. Running around in another state and all about I just tried to keep a rule of moderation. What do runners eat anyways? Eating out I instantly divided the food in half to a takeout container before digging in, and avoided the cake at the wedding. I still don’t feel comfortable guestimating calories at all. All in all I think I was up a few calories over the weekend but not a ton.

I’ve gotten more adventurous with this developing body with somewhat unlimited energy! Maybe a bit intoxicated by the new things I can do almost like a little kid, “Look what I can do!” bouncing around like Winnie the Pooh's pal Tigger... It was a riot to dig out old dress clothes for the wedding I went to. I put on the pants and could have easily tucked in a couple of small lap dogs in with what’s left of my lap! After belting up I had to carefully bunch up the pants to make them look pleated. Perhaps by next year they will look like MC Hammer pants on me?! People are starting to comment now, sometimes it’s kind of odd because it should be a cool compliment but I feel really awkward sometimes.

It’s not all roses though I do have many blessings. Some of the darker side of the weekend is I have a relative that is among the closest blood relations I have left and he is dying of cancer. I tried to go visit him in the hospital but just couldn’t make myself go as I drove by. He has cancer similar to another family member that passed a few years ago that I still have trouble with. It’s really hard to wrap my mind around it. Another thing is with all the travel over the weekend and being spent emotionally I’ve not officially exercised in a few days. Hopefully tonight I can get in a volleyball game, the last of the season.

At Foolsfitness we love ten foot tall polar bears and four legged baby chickens!- Alan

Dropping Pounds... and Comments?

2011-05-18T09:49:00.001-07:00

I got my “official” weigh in for the last two weeks… 5 pound drop. I was getting greedy for a while with my 4 pound drops per week for the last couple of weeks and wanted 8 but it’s nothing to sneeze at. Things are moving in the right direction, about ½ of my winter weight has been shed. I’ve actually started wearing a few XL shirts in public as well as my “skinny” shorts.

Has anyone lost comment posts? I think Blogger had a shut down last week and I’ve lost a couple of comments. Please note folks I did not delete you! In fact I really live for comments. I don’t see them in the spam and don’t know how they got deleted… Anyways, sorry but I didn’t do it and don’t forget that comments charge me up and keep me going!

So yesterday was the second to last Volleyball night for the league, next Tuesday is the finish for the season. The games were intense and I was sopping wet with perspiration at the end. My team ended the night loosing more games than winning. However, I had the highest scoring game I’ve ever played in… in the rules a team needs to win by two points. Normal games go to 15, but in this one game we couldn’t get two points before loosing the ball and the other team was the same. That final score was 21-23! We made the other teams earn those wins for sure. A couple of the other games were fought up a couple of points or only lost by two or three. Those games I don’t mind. Its no fun when one team runs over another like 15 to 8.

Another question to fellow bloggers… I’ve recently gotten a couple of requests to guest blog, I’ve blogged as a guest a couple of times but I guess I’m nervous when someone writes requesting to blog on my own site. I’m uncomfortable “endorsing”, I’ve tried to keep this walk away from the fad diets, tricks, and quick fixes and such. I’m not saying people asking to guest on my blog are any of those but I just get nervous about it. I even struggle with sharing links to resources at times. I honestly don’t want to lead people astray.

At Foolsfitness Ice cream is a food group- Alan

Thinking Small

2011-05-11T12:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve been trying to set lots of “mini” goals on my way to a more fit and healthier me. One of those goals is to go 50 miles a month during the fair weather months on my bicycle. On the bicycle today I *HAD* to stop by the library to send off this quick post… Month of May, gee in only 11 days I’m actually over my 50 miles for this month!!! I had a free day today and I just ended up riding for miles and miles. I think like 14 miles or so, the highest single day number of this year so far.

Thinking small can add up for sure… a few miles here and there start turning over the odometer miles. A goal of keeping the calories under my 2000 mark and a little goal of just getting out and doing 3 miles 4 times a week, string a few of those days together and suddenly little things are adding up!

I played Volleyball last night, but my finger is still pretty sore and not completely mobile from last the week before’s injury. Still, I’m glad I played… there were some intense and seriously fun games. My normal serve was impossible due to whacking that finger on the ball, so I improvised… some of my serves were so weird aimed and off speed that people had trouble adapting to them. My serves suffered for sure but I seem to adapt by trying to play a bit more tactically. I couldn’t spike but I’d focus on tapping the ball to odd spots.

I’ve been trying to not be so psycho with the scale, attempting to curb my weight checks to once every two weeks. I’m itching to see what it’s going to be on Saturday. I haven’t eaten perfectly but pretty close and I’ve been getting a good amount of movement in. I know clothes are fitting differently. Last night I almost lost my shorts in attempting to jump up for a block on the net!!! Time out! I need to redo my belt!

What small goals are you setting for yourself?

I May Need Adult Supervision?

2011-05-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

Being more mindful of what I am eating, including tracking everything has given me an opportunity to reflect. In the last two days I’ve eaten oddly. One days total complete food intake list was two scoops of Sheppard’s pie, ¾ lb of turkey burger, and some yam fries with mustard. In the next day a 57 percent of my calories were “invested” in ice cream and the day after 30% in chips!!!

I personally have a no rules policy when it comes to banning foods. I guess it makes sense if you’re diabetic to watch your sugar or someone with peanut allergies really shouldn’t have a PB + J sandwich… but I’ve found banning foods just makes me want the “forbidden fruit” more. However, I am increasing efforts to obtain some nutrients beyond those found in Doritos and Funny Bones. Right now I’m trying to keep it fairly simple asking myself if I’ve had something from the major groups meat/protein, bread/starch carbs, milk/cheese, veggie, fruit, and the junk food group. I’m doing well with the last one.

I am the type of guy who runs with scissors and thinks the 60’s Batman theme song makes the best ringtone for your phone. Maybe some people are just wired differently, think differently, and need general adult supervision. Overweight people have got to be wired differently. Somehow it makes sense that a pizza is a serving to people like us. I’m not saying we are in any way lemmings that need to be herded for our own good and general protection… I’m just saying maybe we need to relook at some of the first impulses that cross our mind before acting on them.

I’m thankful I’m keeping a food journal. It’s a reflection I look at then ask myself things like well if a big cookie is an OK breakfast is it ok to just buy a package of cookies for the day and skip veggies altogether? Hey, its seems to work for Cookie Monster…

I’ve gone to three places in search for my funny bone cupcakes, this time for breakfast and after giving up looking for them I figured since it was brunch time I’d find something else. I noticed a sign up at Cumby’s for wraps. I picked up the southwestern style turkey wrap and thought overall this is better nutritional choice than some of my standards. For 520 calories you get zero sugar and 36 grams of protein. Moreover it’s a serving of a whole package (one wrap is cut in half) so if you ate a half wrap it would be a manageable snack at 255 calories. I think my main complaint was that the sodium is pretty high at 1040MG! Also beware if you use one of those sauce packets, some of them are like having heavy salad dressing and lots of it. It makes me tempted to start making my own wraps as I know I could keep a better eye on the sodium.

AN UPDATE: someone just replied to my blog (Rachel) about the hospital food… she says the hospital she knows *Does* fry their stuff and some of their food seems to rival old high school café type menus. I guess it shows you got to ask and be constantly aware, I would have thought hospital food would have been of the same level everywhere but no. I guess I have a blessing at my area. They did tell me they bake everything here but they do have some of those heavy soups and occasional foods I do tend to avoid… Thanks Rachel.

Another example of being constantly aware is the difference between the two wraps on sale at Cumby’s. My glance at the hummus one saw it was over 700 calories. I didn’t compare the nutrition after seeing that the general calories were higher than I had planned to spend on a sandwich at that time.

At Foolsfitness we occasionally treat ourselves to an apple, but usually try to wash the taste out of our mouth with chips after! - Alan

Things That Fit, But A Mind That Doesn't

2011-05-07T21:35:00.000-07:00

There are some things in life that you can not appreciate, or perhaps even fully realize that are out there until you experience them... like a BBQ grill in the shape of a pig! I gained a good chunk of weight over the winter, but am working very hard and shedding it quickly. My clothes once again are starting to get “breathing room” in them. I tried on my skinny guy shorts (the smallest pair I own) the other day, and they are at the point of near wearability. I can button and zip them up but they are not quite at the point of being comfortable. . I’m starting to eye XL shirts again. Not really ready fully comfortable ready yet either, but I can jam myself into some of them. One of my friends mentioned about how her ring fit different as her weight changed and I got a kick out of putting on my old college ring again. One serious shaking and it goes flying off.

So I got a new experience today. Picture three parking spaces beside one another. I pull my car in the middle one, there is a car on both sides. The spot was just a bit “mind the door” tight but I got out with minimal effort and walked over and I started talking to a guy in the spot next to me who has an old truck next to my passenger side. I like antiques so we get talking… now next to my drivers side a woman who is a passenger of the other car gets beside her and my car and says loudly, “How am I suppose to get in there!”

I heard this and step to the side saying, “Oh, did I not park in the lines?” I was going to move but realized I wasn’t out of my space, neither they theirs, we were both in our respective spots… I guess they just are small parking spaces. Now the guy in the old truck suggested she just wait for the driver to back out of the spot first before she got in. Never underestimate the power of the practical wisdom of an old farmer.

She sort of grumbled but they figured it out in short order. As they pulled away I shrugged looking back at the farmer guy in the old truck and said, “I got out of my car ok?” sort of earnestly puzzled as it was snug but I didn’t think the thing was really impossible or even really difficult beyond just being careful not to ding their door. If I had gotten out how couldn’t she have gotten in? It didn’t make sense.

Now the thing that made my day… the old guy shrugged and without the slightest hint of sarcasm says, ”Well, she’s bigger than you.” Just a very simple, matter of fact, obvious explanation that makes perfect sense said only like an old farmer in an old pick up truck can. He said it so off the cuff and moved on like it was nothing, I was so truly blindsided by it. I almost stumbled away. I’m starting to bump into people who weigh more than I do now. No offense to them… hey I’ve been to the point where I think a 350lb doctors scale would not have covered it at one point… but now somehow there are people that are bigger than me?

It sort of made my day in one way, yet perplexed me and threw me off the whole day to no end. Perhaps some of you out there can understand? There are times where I think my self image goes to both ends of the spectrum. I honestly don’t think I can “really” see myself much at all. Whether I’m blocking it or twisting a perception, I really am blind when I see myself in a mirror… up or down. Had you honestly asked me about that woman I wouldn’t have thought of her as big, never mind bigger than me.

Even when I get on a scale. Naturally I like those numbers going down and all but somehow they don’t seem real. The only times I really seem to pick up on my changing form are occasionally I’ll be lying in bed and somehow brush an elbow or something and it feels sort of alien, I guess because part of it sort of isn’t there. The other times is in bicycling, the first couple of times I make a new hill without stopping… or suddenly notice I’m in a higher gear than what I’ve been using.

This happened once before with finding my wrist bones. I remember it was such an odd experience I actually questioned if I broke something at the time. There are times when my mind doesn’t fit. It works the other way too. The other night I really wanted to keep riding my bicycle, yet my body just couldn’t do any more miles… my body just wouldn’t “go” as much as I wanted to and tried to.

So much for the mind/body connection? Both of them have to check their day planner first before getting together?

At Foolsfitness we wonder how much Ego can we cram in a smaller body?

Bicycle Scavenger Hunt

2011-05-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

In this picture you can see my 7 speed Raleigh I named “Boba” in front of an official tobacco store cigar Indian. My challenge to you is to get out your bicycle and ride to some place to take a picture of your own bicycle in front of something unique and post it up on your blog. Maybe you can find a neat named street sign, an old car, or in front of a nice backdrop. Let’s see who can find the oddest thing to take a picture of their bicycle with. Let’s have some fun while getting fit too.

Last year I put on about 205 miles on this cargo bicycle and this year I’m planning to do at least 300… perhaps more. A basic goal of 50 miles a month in the “fair” weather months. April was right on at about 56 miles. May so far I’m about half way to this month’s 50 with a few days to the middle of the month to spare. You can see a pick of my bicycle odometer…

I attribute a lot of my getting more fit to being in the saddle of the bicycle. I haven’t burned off all the winter fat yet, but I’m on my “weigh” (bad pun!) At least I haven’t popped a tire in the spring of this year (yet).

Happy and safe peddling! Foolsfitness- Alan

Going to the Hospital

2011-05-05T09:10:00.000-07:00

I got my first “sports injury” playing Volleyball Tuesday night. If you look close at the pictures in the top one my right ring finger is rather puffy. I’ve put up a picture of the other hand to show the vast difference in size below it. I almost look at it as a badge… See this right here, I got that playing sports!

I haven’t gone to the hospital for it. A couple of days it’s still puffy, sore, and doesn’t bend well but I doubt it will need to be chopped off. What I *DO* go to the hospital for believe it or not is dinner or lunch a few times a week. Crazy? Isn’t hospital food terrible?

Hear me out. First of all the hospital bakes all their foods rather than frying them. Second they are cheap, for example I can get salads for 1.50 less a pound than at the supermarket. Lastly, one of the things I’m trying to do is learn serving portions. The hospital café tends to be inexpensive, reasonably healthy, and not completely heap the plate. At home one of the things I’ve adopted is measuring out my cereal and milk with a measuring cup. It’s so easy to just pour a double serving in a bowl otherwise.

There is one flaw to my hospital café eating plan I noticed last night. The nice lunch ladies there are starting to recognize me and seem to be starting to increasing the amount of food on the plate, perhaps out of trying to be nice and wanting me to get a good deal or something? It was a huge error last night as it seemed to trigger me to also add in some bread and a brownie for dessert… somehow I ended the day with like 3,100 calories!!! I’ve got to share my plans and goals with them and get them on my side. Sure I want a good deal for my money, but I either got to take some of it to go or get a half serving or something.

Now for something totally irrelevant to weight loss. But I have to rant… I watched the new Green Hornet Movie last night. I was so disappointed. I’m a huge Green Hornet fan, the comics and also the old radio programs… they made the Green Hornet into a buffoon. The “tech” and effects were great (I loved machine guns in the suicide doors!). I did like that they respected Kato more but to make the Hornet into someone who just “lucks” into stuff… I don’t think they paid it proper due. I guess it’s a hard movie to make because he’s a lot like Batman. Brett has more class than that.

Over 55 Pounds Gained?!

2011-05-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

(The picture is the conflicting scene at my works break room... Did you see the donuts or the scale first?!)

Speaking of conflicting... Well I’ve enjoyed quite the roller coaster gaining 55.5 pounds of winter fat!!! Last years low was about 282 and at the end of the winter I had skyrocketed to 338 pounds! That’s a mere 5 pounds away from my starting weight a couple of years back!!! All that work and poof in six months!!!

Though fear not. This is indeed Fools Fitness but even a fool can learn, abet slowly. In the month of April, naturally April 1st I tried to renew my commitment to a more fit me. In April I dropped 21 pounds!!! Currently I am 317.

So what have I learned? What has changed? Wow there seems like so much. Some of it seems so elementary yet it really takes me a while to pick up on stuff.

1) I am *way* more active in the summer. (example Aprils bicycling over 50 miles, March zero) At lot of the fitness I enjoyed centered around walking and biking.

FIX: Now Set a rule of minimum 4 days a week walking (or bicycle) at least 3 miles. OR during bad weather an hour in the pool doing my Alan Paddles. (I don’t call it dog paddles because it would insult dogs. A simple goal of to keep moving.) It usually ends up more miles and more days a week but the minimums get me out.

2) I may have set myself up for failure in setting my calorie intake too low and never eating anything of any seriously nutritious value… then starved and binged.

FIX: bumped up my calorie intake to 2000 calories a day, and try to hit all major food groups. Even that tracked at a consistent 4 pounds dropped each week for 3 weeks. This works when I am active.

I even take a multivitamin from time to time! My rules of all foods stands though. I still have pizza, Funny Bones, gooey yummy Chinese food, ice cream, peanut butter, and Doritos. Big Macs are still tasty! Anything goes! But not everything of anything! I try not to do them all at once!!!

3) I fail to continue to pay attention. I also get a bit overconfident as I succeed.

FIX: I’ve started to write down all my food in a journal as well as the exercise I do, every day. No exceptions. Tracking it keeps it fore front in my mind. it’s a bit of work but I think pays in the end. I can see trends and writing it down physically makes it real and tangible. Also the blog journal. If I stop paying attention and start my evil super villain laugh it’s a set up for a failure.

4) I can’t cut corners loosing the gym membership.

FIX: I need the mood and energy boost, especially during bad weather… rain or snow. That membership is very expensive, but it’s also very expensive to get in a funk and gain 55 pounds!

5) Food is not medication and it will not fix my car!

FIX: awareness and reminding myself that some comfort food really isn’t a good long term fix for what ever is going on.

6) Staying connected… The blog and friends are key elements too!

FIX: there is a correlation when I dropped writing and started gaining and I don’t think its coincidence. If that means bringing a jump drive with a blog entry to upload at the library it’s still worth the effort. Also having feedback (on the comment section as well as with friends off line) is helpful. It gives me a third person perspective, keeps me thinking, and with new ideas. I’ve got to stay connected somehow.

55.5 pounds x 3,500 calories= 194,250 calories gained in six months… Mind boggling. Am I a bear needing a winter coat? I may be in a cage, but I’m still a panther!!! Doctor Chinese Food and his Diabolical Ice Cream Minions armed with Hunger Ray Guns won a round… but don’t count out Captain Unbelievable yet! 21 pounds gone… AGAIN! A month ago I was devastated, but these things I think I am learning are gems of incredible value. Gaining 55.5 pounds is a victory at Foolsfitness.

(Captain Unbelievable, Doctor Chinese Food, and the Diabolical Ice Cream Minions with their Hunger Ray Guns are intellectual property of Fools Fitness May 1st 2011... Get your own Superhero and arch nemesis… before they are all gone!) Foolsfitness- Alan

The End of the World is Coming, I Got a Planner

2011-01-01T12:37:00.000-08:00

When I was in school my friends and I made a pact because we were *real* artists. We’d never be “sell outs” painting sail boats or light houses, and never own a daily planner! The end of the world would be near before we’d start producing general pretty picture flowers junk commercial art!!! We were Artists! (Notice it’s even with a capital “A” too)

I held on to that pledge actually for quite a while. I don’t know when it happened but I think someone gave me one of those Kitten Planners that are so tiny and innocent looking all 3 by 5 and costing like a dollar. I thought it was rebel too, big ruff and tumble me with the little booklet with 2 little kittens on it.

One year I got totally out of hand. I got a planner given to me with post it notes complete with duplicate carbon copy sheets and even a calculator. The corners of the pages had tiny perforations to tear away so you’d instantly flip to the right date. I kept a pen clipped in the planner! The sickness of it. Now addicted to planners last year I actually started buying my own, my mind twisted by imposed indoctrinated thoughts of systematic conformity I even shelled out *15 bucks* for one with tabs! What was I thinking?!

Today I started the year off in a normal Fools Fitness random manner. Some people have resolutions to catch up on bills, loose weight, or stop smoking…I ate more Chinese food than I should, spending money I really don’t have, started smoking my captain black pipe tobacco, and buying another planner. Just to be safe I cancelled my gym membership in December too. (Yes, all this is true) But my new planner was under 4 dollars, so I‘m not a complete sell out am I?

Most people break their New Years resolutions… So I’m playing the odds. I’m also trying to figure out a way that I can buy lottery tickets but somehow bet on that they are actually non-winning tickets. Maybe I could bet the people in line at the connivance store that are buying them that they won‘t win? Think outside the box my friends. Make your resolution to loose weight another day than in a News Years resolution… like me on April Fools Day!

Back to my new planner date book. I actually do find it helpful to keep track of appointments, write down the odd note, and make lists at times. I think it’s important to have a plan and refer to it over and over to see if you are heading in the general right direction. However my great plans for world domination seem to be always encountering unforeseen, ill prepared for, or just plain development in general that I could have easily avoided if I wasn‘t so full of myself laughing manically not paying attention and losing focus.

Isn’t that the way though? It’s so easy to make a plan, “I want to lose weight”. After all I have a planner and I can write it in there. It’s so simple, yet then there are the details and following through, keeping on course, dealing with the random events… Like the end of the world. I’ve penciled it in for a possibility for May 21, 2011 or just a general massive Earthquake and Tsunami that wipes out the eastern USA on December 20, 2011... And am trying to keep a general open calendar for all of 2012.

I don’t think anyone is suppose to know the exact date of the end of the world but I figure someone is bound to hit it eventually. Maybe those Mayans just got tired of making the calendar and stopped writing. I’d go on strike too if someone told me to keep going after I made a calendar that covered a couple of thousand years. Maybe they just ran out of room. After all I only got an 18 month planner at the store.

Just a few parting thoughts about my new “plan ahead” CVS 4 dollar planner. Does anyone find it really helpful to have those sections like the “weights and measures” that gives you the fact that 40 rods equals a Furlong or the CIA‘s website address? (Both are really preprinted in my in my planner)

At Foolsfitness paintings of lighthouses and sailboats will be gladly made in exchange for food, rent, gas, guitar fund, captain black pipe tobacco, or general cat care supply funding.-Alan

Foolsfitness Merry Christmas VIDEO!

2010-12-24T12:50:00.000-08:00

A Merry Christmas VIDEO from Fools Fitness.

The Blues and a Guitar that Quacks Like A Duck!

2010-12-06T20:24:00.001-08:00

First an odd disclaimer: to someone that might be reading this that I promised a guitar to for Christmas… (*NO* this one is not your gift, and you can’t have it… this is a different guitar! Yours is a deep red classical, and of a quite higher pedigree)

OK, Back to the blog post:

Well, I’m almost back to functional here. But the tosses and turns have somehow left me spun around and like 40 pounds heavier in about 3 months… insane, I know. after all the hard work, all that damage… I blame that wild medication reaction some, but I also have take full responsibility for me eating waaay too much and not doing gym, volleyball, or riding the bicycle… What can I say other than I just don’t feel well…

With all this bizarre stuff going on I got into a funk, I’m still in a funk…

Naturally I should start learning the guitar and play the Blues, right !?!

So let me share a story about my new hobby and not giving up…

Foolsfitness would like to tell you a story about a guitar. This is not just any ole guitar, but the kind that is destined for legend… or at the least it just has a bit of the blues injected into it through it’s tough times. I can see writing up several blues songs just about this guitar I call “Mouse” that I have starting out walking on the blues road with.

I’m talking about an old Harmony ¾ folk steel string acoustic guitar, near as I can tell circa 1984. How the little guy started out I wonder… maybe like most of his other little siblings in some hard life stuck with an abusive relationship with a kid who didn’t know any better or much care about how he treated some whim Christmas present.

Of its past I know it was bought at a yard sale, and *then* stored in a barn for years. A lady who is a friend of mine, her mother gave it to me. While it was in kindness, that I appreciate, I think she appreciated to be free of the clutter too. The mother’s husband put on a high E string as the old one had long since seen string heaven.

So I get the guitar and turn it over looking at the sunburst color on the front and deep wood grain on the back. It was proudly showing off it’s “steel reinforced neck” sticker that was peeling up and I heard something loose rattling about as I turned the guitar around. Apparently in it’s life it had also had some side work as a mouse shack. I removed a bit of fuzz and a little kernel of something I couldn’t quite reckon what it was from inside the sound hole after a *whole lot of shaking going on*…(Couldn’t resist the song pun)

These strings, or the five that hadn’t been replaced were rusted. I take it to a pal who tunes it by ear the best he can, He’s old and hard of hearing, but I’m tone deaf and can’t play a chord to sound right anyway, so I don’t much care. I figure close is just fine.

Over the next week I broke another string and while tuning it after replacement broke a third. Then broke one of other the *new* ones I just put on… maybe some bad mojo for running away with some mouse’s pad, or just ignorance on my part being new and over tuning it?

So I cut off *all* the strings and spend a night just cleaning the whole thing. I bring it to a local guitar shop who says it won’t stay in tune because the bridge was lifting, wants to charge me 25 bucks to put strings on it with also the warning that he could snap off the bridge in the process too… on a guitar that bought at J C Penny that cost that much new, and street value now is about 20 bucks! Let’s just say between two sets of strings I have invested more than what I could likely buy another whole guitar just like it for.

So I take my frustration and a new set of soft steel strings (2nd set of strings) away from that shop and hunt down *another* friend. This one a bit younger and still has that youthful “can do” enthusiasm. She takes the guitar and lets just say the old thing needed a woman’s touch. However sure enough the bridge starts prying up and she can’t keep it in tune. But she explains to me that it’s still a good starter guitar and it’s reasonably close to in tune.

I squirted a whole tube of super glue gel under the bridge to keep it from popping off and it seemed to harden enough to keep a bit better tune for a couple of weeks. I’ve become Ahab and this is my whale obsession. Yet there is something freeing about the whole thing here. I have it leaned against my bookcase and maybe because it didn’t cost a lot it’s less intimidating somehow and I seem to pick it up frequently to practice a few chords while dinner is cooking, and also I’m not afraid of leaving it out around the cat. She has NOT decided it is a scratching post (Yet?)… even though I’ve decided to call my new (er old) guitar “Mouse“.

The superglue turned some of the bridge wood and surrounding area white. So naturally I took a trusty sharpie marker and went to work on my guitar's shoe shine, as well as touched a few chipped color areas too. Superglue, permanent marker… hey, no duck tape yet.

As I'm starting to learn more I'm exploring the neck of the guitar a bit in playing beyond open chords... I've got a few high spots that buzz a couple of notes here and there that I know after looking very careful is not my finger position. Perhaps this will make me learn alternate fingering of notes as I'm going to have to work playing around them.

Yet in the “Blues Beggar style” (Do I even have a style yet?) I think I have developed a signature note. You could look at the guitars warped neck as irritating, and I do to some extent... but I found playing a version of the four note “I am a man” or Hoochie lick (Low E fret 3-0-3-5) the last note gives me an odd buzz. So I've been working on a pop of the string and a twisting lift off bend that makes the note "Quack" So it doesn’t have duck tape yet, but it can quack!

So in the future when you think of Quackery (or is it tom foolery?), you may just think of “The Blues Beggar“!
aka Foolsfitness
or Alan…
aka the artist formally known as any of the above and just likes to refer to himself in third person.

So the “Mouse” and I are both playing a little out of tune just fine together. It’s not as tasty as Chinese Food, but I can practice my “licks”… actually so far it seems like a bit of good therapy. -Alan

Gone Crazy, Back Soon!

2010-10-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

I took a picture of this I saw the other day… You see before you a RV on a bus frame that has a shelf on the back that holds a full size dresser motorcycle (the kind with a dash, radio, windshield, lazy boy type seat, and floorboards.) Now that is towing a SUV behind it and believe it or not the SUV has a rack carrying two mountain bicycles!

I mentioned in a couple of posts I felt like was coming to a cross roads. I’m still being at a bit of Zen about what path of many to take. I got a bit sick and the doctor prescribed something I was hyper sensitive to, and it though me for a major loop. Believe it or not in a span of a couple of weeks I gained 20 pounds! All my hard work, then something I take that was suppose to help me sends my body in some kind of craziness. The doctor woman was freaked I was going to have a seizure and I was shaking so badly. When they loose their cool in front of you I think it must be kind of serious. She kept saying, "I'm glad I saw you today" over and over.

SO, thus… I haven’t been posting, and likely until I get back to some more “natural” state I’m going to be off. I haven’t been bicycle riding, volleyball playing, or much of anything. The whole thing really sent me for a loop. Ironically in the past when a doctor prescribed something I reacted badly to what ever that was too… I must have some kind of funny wired system that likes a specific harmony that hates anything in it?

I have been getting out a bit with a new friend. She brought me to a sports game, or rather I think dragged me a bit because she had to as her brother was getting her to go with her folks, so I could be her company. I didn’t mind it, but don’t think I’ll become a rabid fan of that sport in the future.

We might pick up guitar playing in the near future together though which I think is a great idea, especially with winter coming here. I think people focus so much on the weight loss thing sometimes they forget what they are going to put in place of the whole food thing. For me it was never just about food, but replacing it with living life more fully.

Who knows, we might make some money off the guitars. People might pay us to stop playing near them… or we could threaten to hit them with the guitars unless they give us money? Don’t forget to post your comment with ideas for our new “band” name or names of songs we should make up?

I’m leaning toward classical acoustic guitar, but she has access to two steel strings and an electric too, and her dad works as some kind electronics repair wizard who could probabally build us amps or what ever. (Ironically she’s never played her guitars… she got them as gifts last Christmas... but it's no fun to play alone) I might be able to pull off some background tracks off the internet to make something loosely resembling music if we can figure out how to play a chord, then another two chords right after it… (hey, it seemed like a good idea for a hobby at the time.)

I hope this post made some sense… This is why they say doctor’s are “practicing”... they are only people too, but I think I would have been better off just letting the flu or what ever it was just ride out naturally, then the whole medically altered prescription mess. I’ve always thought God made you a certain way for a reason, and altering it just seems like a questionable idea in concept to me.

Don’t forget that at Foolsfitness we are starting a garage band, going on tour near you soon! - Alan

VolleyBall 2nd Season Return

2010-09-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

I returned to playing volleyball after a summer off and the first thing the coordinator said was, ”You’ve lost weight”, which was a neat little treat. I’m currently holding at about 285.5 or about 2 pounds or so up from the lowest in the blog. Not too bad.

My triumpant return to my second season of adult pick up volleyball… well, most of us were a bit rusty not playing all summer. I noticed my jump had improved, after all I’ve got less weighing me down than before!!! However, it will take time to rebuild accuracy. I’ve always joked that if a ball comes anywhere near me I can promise a hit but the direction afterward is totally a different matter.

I haven’t been blogging as much, I think partly to stressors (both good and bad) like after the car needed a head gasket *THEN* the master cylinder for the brakes went. The landlord finally pretty much finished the roof section over my part of the house last weekend. I’m hoping I can find a time stretch of reasonable uneventfulness to just sort of channel my chi so to speak.

I remember the first time last year I played volleyball, the morning after I seriously had trouble just getting off my futon to get to the bathroom and took serious consideration of giving up playing. This time, I did loose most games and I went home drenched in sweat. But the morning after was just a tiny bit sore, not much at all. Also a new perspetive that although I wasn’t playing my best I have more confidence that my skills will return in short order. I’ve always played for just the enjoyment of playing it anyway.

So what’s next? I’m not really certain. As I hover around the 60 pounds off mark I feel like there is some cross roads coming. I don’t really know what they are yet. I’ve never banned food and I don’t think I will ever start to, but maybe trying to add in some more nutritionally dense choices. I’d like to say the exercise thing will be more structured, but I’m just more of a zen type guy. I got a bit sick and the side effects of the medicine have given me a low grade headache I keep confusing for a low blood sugar hunger. Then again maybe that’s just an excuse.

Like I said, I feel like my “chi” isn’t centered and I’m coming to some crossroads but I’m not sure what’s next. I’ve been off the bicycle for a while now and I can’t pinpoint why… maybe it was just all the stress over fixing the car I can’t say. Maybe V-ball will bring me back. Then again maybe in some ways that drop of weight is slowly changing me into a different person in other ways than on a scale and I have to take some time to adjust to that too.

Some of this is that I don’t want it to be all about the numbers on a scale and know it's not. I think people get lost in the numbers and forget about the question of what’s next.

The Blogfather of Foolsfitness- Alan

Pow Wow Possibles Pouch

2010-09-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

Above is a Micmac from the Mother Earth Creations Pow wow.(No, that guy is *NOT* me) But Below is *MY* new "Possibles Pouch"This bag I got at the Pow wow and was made by a traditional tanner with spare shoe leather. She originally designed it as a children’s bag but it is big enough to be an adult’s “Possibles Bag”. The small pouch could carry a small clay pipe and tobacco or some trading beads. I bartered with the lady for it with some of my own beads and a small otter pendant. Next I went to other traders and hunted down some bone for the tassels, and finally to yet another crafts woman who donated some glass beads and put it together for me. I gifted her a buffalo tooth and turkey feather in thanks for her work.

I think this pouch is a good illustration of our journey to become more healthy and fit. There was much searching and many stops along the way. If you look closely the beads do not mirror and match exactly, just as our journeys are not on perfect and on some ruff roads at times. I even had to switch out a couple of beads as I wanted to keep it closer to traditional and made the mistake of getting two resin ones.

I think we each carry sort of an invisible “Possibles Bag” with us in this journey. I like the name of it. Our intentions and desires are in that bag, but only if we have carefully collected them knowing what we really want. That bag can easily be filled with other things. It can only hold so much. Yet having “Possibles” in that pouch, we can’t know exactly what everything is that is in it either. There just might be more in there than we could possibly imagine! It’s only in searching and in intentional purposeful action can we try to pull that “possible” out of the bag.

I’d be great to just reach in and whip out six pack abs but it takes time to look for them, action and intention. I doubt they are in my bag. Yet a couple of years ago if you told me that racing a bicycle on a NASCAR track or seeing the two hundred’s on a scale again were in there I would have laughed at you. Who knew that was in there?! I found them with some hard searching and action.

Open up your “Possibles Pouch” and share with me what you find, and what it is your looking for if you feel comfortable with that. But at least on your own, open that pouch and think about what it is in there that you are looking for and reach for it with action.

At the Foolsfitness gym it’s that crazy Indian guy called “Wandering Mouse” who is the chief fool.- Alan

It’s Gone!

2010-09-13T15:39:00.001-07:00

The tragedy! The horror! This travesty against Foolsfitness will not prevail! Since April 1st of last year I’ve had one “official” scale I’ve used at my work. She’s seen me after my 10 mile bike rides, buffet adventures, and we’ve walked this road together hand and scale for over a year… The company decided that it was best to use the best scale at another location with more access to the public. She left me with one parting gift to say farewell… 286.5 or just about half way to my vision of where my weight should be.

The new scale, or rather older scale came this morning to the office to replace her… like she could ever be replaced!!! This scale tried to win me over with a weight of 283. I think it’s pretty close to accurate as I have a digital scale at home. Moreover at the 59 pound off mark! Still, this scale isn’t *MY* scale.

I’m hoping to get a picture of the Pow-Wow up next post but of course wanted to share the above. Also, I attended a multicultural day event locally last weekend. I got to hear Celtic folk music and African drumming. There were booths of lots of local organizations. It’s funny, when I mentioned going to the event to a coworker she asked, “How was the food?” I answered that I didn’t partake. Sure there were food booths from cultures around the world, and now that I think about it they smelled good and might have been neat to try but I had just brought 3 granola bars to have over the day. It wasn’t about the food. Had I wanted to eat something there I guess I could have had if I had chose to, it just really wasn’t on the radar.

I think that’s part of the focus for me now that it isn’t a food question really. Rather it's not a food answer to the questions I'm asking. That’s why in the Foolsfitness pledge I say there are no “good” or “bad” foods. They just are things. Food is neither a friend nor an enemy. Some are denser in calories or nutrition… It’s the Foolsfitness UN-Common Sense, it’s not a diet at all. I don’t even like that word. It's almost a Zen transcendence where food isn't even in the question and thus it falls in order naturally.

There are no trick foods, magic pills, or workout gismos in the Foolsfitness Way. If I want pizza or soda I have some. If I didn’t that would leave me in fear over the food giving it some kind of power it doesn’t have unless I give it to it. Banning foods seems crazy to me. It gives them power when they are just things.

That’s not to say I just eat anything in any volume at all. Part of this journey is learning to understand what is sane. It goes back to the Foolsfitness Pledge of Power of the Plate, awareness, and choices. I don’t live on only cheeseburgers or just salads either. At that Pow-wow I made the choice to eat more high calorie foods in larger portions and enjoyed them... but it was a choice I made and was aware of.

In wanting to be more fit (notice I didn’t even say lose weight) I just am trying to honestly answer “Is this what I’m really hungry for?” Food fixes food problems (you need to eat to survive), but it’s just not a permanent and proper solution to some other things… It's just not the answer to some of the questions I've asked from it.

At Foolsfitness we just had pretzels for dinner!- Alan

Camping in a Hurricane

2010-09-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

What do you during a hurricane? You go camping of course! Foolsfitness enjoyed camping at a Pow-wow over labor day weekend. There was some cool stuff going on. I hadn’t camped for a little over a year and being 50 pounds lighter made a major difference. One simple thing I noticed was just zipping up the sleeping bag. With the exception of the zipper sticking a bit that bag actually fit. I also noticed setting up and breaking down now that I think about it I neither got winded, nor needed major breaks.

It was odd shopping for food. I was actually looking for dense caloric values this time as I wasn’t sure how much energy I’d be spending. The camp site is primitive (no power or water) and I’d be active moving about a lot… although I never danced in the circle.

The weather was an adventure. The first night it was near high 80’s, then the next night the hurricane Earl’s edge neared the area. It was just a bit of wind and a few hours of hard rain. Then the next night the weather system totally shifted and I could see my breath at night.

I tried to come reasonably prepared. There is a tarp over my tent secured to trees and staked in three locations with heavy stakes. I came early to set up before the rain. The tent itself had the small pin stakes and there was a ground tarp underneath, to help keep me dry.

The people next to me had a fire pit going late at night and one suddenly screamed “What is that coming out of the hole!” I’m not sure if the heat of the fire pit helped the little turtles hatch underground but my campsite was under siege by a raiding party of turtles determined to get to the pond below me.
It was strange to hear the little guys scuffing along the edges of the tent looking for a way around to get to the water. At one point the guy at the campsite next to me started collecting them in a bucket so they wouldn’t get stepped on and after showing them to other campers in the morning brought them safely to the water’s edge. He had over 20 of them!

I’ll write more specifically about the pow-wow part in the next post but this experience really got me thinking about how important preparation is in a task. Someone in another site had to borrow a camp hammer from me at one point and I even shared some wood. I prepared for the weather and what I’d need. It took thinking and work but it was important and paid off. Isn’t it like that in working to get fit?

Also I was very moved by those little turtles. They were singularly focused to get to the pond. Even in the bucket they were constantly moving and climbing over each other trying to reach their goal with every ounce of energy they had.

Perhaps that’s a lesson for us in this journey too. One is preparation and knowing the goal. I didn’t forget my camp hammer and had camp fire could be lit with a single match. I just bought a calorie counter book the other day and maybe a food scale is around the corner. The second is the perseverance of a turtle. Just keep on going. Being prepared and knowing your goal without the effort of single minded movement of trying to get to those goals won’t get you to the sweet water’s edge!

Next post some more specific pow-wow stuff from foolsfitness.- Alan

Trashing a Convent

2010-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

I was there watching as they ripped the porch off the building. As it tore off there was that sick sound of splintering wood.

What you are seeing is a building that formerly housed Nuns that taught at the Catholic school next to it. The Church (as I understand it) felt that it was too expensive to keep up on the building repairs, perhaps in light of its current usefulness. Nuns don’t live there now. Actually no one could live there now.

I think it’s going to be converted to a playground for the school.

Time is constantly moving forward. Sometimes it’s easy to get distracted but in the background time passing can not be denied. Change too… seems to be such a constant. Sometimes change can be good, while other times I struggle with it.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how even if we make no choice time will ultimately make a choice for us. This fitness thing really confounds me at times. Naturally it’s important to set specific goals then work toward them (else it’s so easy to drift aimlessly)

OK here’s the current paradox for me. Am I still me after loosing 50 pounds and more? I’m different. I can run, I do a lot more… I’m thinking I even think differently. What about when I was much heavier? I always thought people were shallow if they “Judged a book by it’s cover” and wanted them to like me for me, what ever I weighed.

If you see just about any movie (or even commercial) I can’t help but think how shallow it is… You see models, you don’t really see leading actors that are obese (with very few exceptions and many of them are the target for cruel humor) Physically fit people are there for a reason… they have some attraction, else they wouldn’t be there if they didn’t sell cars or movies. In the past it always bothered me thinking about how shallow it was.

Yet now I wonder something else. These changes of getting more fit are deep and seem to impact many areas. If a person cares about their body, themselves… are they placing more value in themselves, thus naturally generating more confidence?… more MoJo?

I can’t help but think about that old line that women say, “I want you to respect me for my mind.” I wonder if the mind body health connection is far stronger than I once believed. When people comment about how others have “really let themselves go.” I’m starting to have trouble with the blurred line of what is healthy and what is shallow.

If you don’t care about you and don’t value yourself (including your physical health)… maybe isn’t it harder for people to care too? I’m not sure what to do with it. I hope I can see the “real” person, whoever they are. But at the same time I have some magnetic pull toward the fitness too. Getting back to those pictures… Is it just a building? Is it a Nun’s home and a piece of history that bothered me so seeing it ripped apart? Can it be both?

Of course most of you that have read the blog for any time at all know that a little bit of arrogance is the Foolsfitness way. - Alan

Over 50 Pounds off and Control

2010-08-24T08:35:00.000-07:00

What if I said to you I hit my 50 pounds off mark? Well, Foolsfitness just hit the 53 pounds off mark, just to show off!!!

The picture you see above is a switch panel at the Belnap Mill, that was a water powered sewing mill that made clothing, and in the early twenties it also supplied some power to the town.

I’ve been thinking about control. I just snapped the stem on my only Pipe this morning by accident. The pipe was a treasured gift. The stem had been chipped for about a month but today was the day when it broke. (Some of you may know I smoke Captain Black Royal Pipe tobacco.) I was kind of crushed by it. I don’t consider myself a rabid smoker and could easily go a few days without it but I hate to buy another pipe that will not be from “that” person. I have trouble even thinking about throwing the pipe away.

So many things are out of our control. We can influence things but accidents, illness, even how others choose to think of us we have somewhat limited control (sometimes no control) over. Even at that mill, at times of low water in the river those wheels would slow down or even come to a stop.

Of the few things we do have a lot of control over I’ve come to think about lately is what and how much we eat. We have the power to be aware, to choose… or give that power away. While that power isn’t available to us always… it may be there much more than we think. We may not notice that switch we are able to pull if we are not looking.

As I hit the 50 pounds (and more!) mark I didn’t have the confusion I had at hitting the 200’s. I noticed the more control I have gained, realizing that control I had the power to use, if I so chose. I thought about what “treat reward” I should give myself and oddly the food reward thing wasn’t high on the list. I think it’s because in this journey it’s become not about banning any food really, just learning the power of the choices. I still eat some pizza or ice cream or such… just not all at once and in more controlled portions.

Also it’s become less about the food as time has gone on. It’s more about the whys, and then the food thing seems to fall into place better. I think it’s like digging closer to the roots rather than focusing on the branches, and how the leaves take care of themselves.

It’s the developing Foolsfitness UN-Common Sense, Awareness. Power of the Plate, and what we Choose. - Alan

My Bicycle Race (Conclusion)

2010-08-18T05:31:00.000-07:00

(This photo is thanks to hydren.com) A pic of me in the pit about 3/4 the way through the race and those guys in the background are still flying by so fast they are a blur!

(continued from last post) So I ripped and yanked at the bicycle to pry and wedge it out of the Jeep (thanks Brad for letting me use your Jeep!). I’m thinking 1994 Jeeps were not designed with the transport of 1984 10-speed bicycle hauling in mind.
Getting it out and onto the pit row area I slowly rode back and forth trying to test out gears and figure out which were the ones I wanted to use on the mile oval.

Everyone seemed to be going around the track with their bicycles warming up. Two things popped into my mind. One, these guys were going faster slowly warming up than I could go all out and two I couldn’t help but think if I do much more than a lap I won’t have any energy left to race. The race was officially for 30 miles for the A’s and I think 24 miles for B’s… I went around the track once and then tried to look nonchalantly inconspicuous sitting on my bicycle in pit row watching the racers zip by as I waited for the official to tell us all to line up in our groups for the race start.

My goal here was to show up and try to do 3-5 miles. Next years goal is to finish a race. Don’t forget I’m still a 290 something pound guy here! When I started this blog April 1st of last year I wouldn’t even fathom in my wildest dreams of trying putting a 10-speed under me on top of a NASCAR track that someone like Mark Martin races on. It wouldn’t even cross my mind… ever.

It’s been an incredible adventure since the start of this blog. Some of this stuff has been so mind boggling for me. The first time I really ran or I could pull myself out of a pool without the ladder steps. When I put on an XL shirt. When someone actually stopped me out of the blue and said, “Wow you’ve dropped some weight.” Playing volleyball. Not being a slave anymore to the All You Can Eat Chinese Food Buffet! Slipping on shorts that are 8 inches less than April of last year… I just don’t have a frame of reference to fully comprehend these totally new to me things.

The race began. First the A group, then each group started after a short pause. After C group I got ready. When I got my “Go” I cranked those gears and tried to catch up to the C group to draft. Drafting, if done well, can save about 30 percent of your peddling effort so it’s important stuff in bicycle racing. By the first turn they had near a ¼ mile on me. I pulled to the right and ran wide corners out of respect to just let the racers pass unhindered as I peddled. The basic difference in my speed would be as if walking as a jogger went by. After I had made 2 miles I think I was passed nearly twice by everyone. I knew deep down I didn’t have a chance at really “racing” while it did hurt a bit that I couldn’t even keep up for a single lap, I was still doing it, out there, not just being a spectator.

After 3 miles I slowed a lot. Then on the forth mile I rode into the pit and told the scorekeeper I was done. She smiled and told me that being the only one in the beginner class (D) if I could pull a couple of more laps I could rack up some reasonable points. I had a choice to make. I was tired but I decided I came to ride and that was what I was going to do and got back out on the race track.

Somehow the spectators watching got news of this whole thing playing out of this near 300 pound guy who had lost a lot of weight pouring his heart into his 1st race. I racked in 5 and 6 miles… then as I passed the start/finish line people started really cheering me, actually way more than the normal regular racers. My bike started squeaking and I searched for a gears I could work with… My head hung low mouth open and literally slobber flew out of my mouth. I cranked telling myself “Plod on. Just keep peddling” The bike wobbled as I rounded 7 and 8 laps! People started going crazy cheering as I rode by. I was so spent, but I decided I would make double digits… I rode 10 miles.

I don’t understand how the scoring works really, but I think I earned 18 points. Ironically while not finishing the race I still took my class (which is kind of obvious since I was the only one in it). I think? It doesn’t totally matter, I just did what I came to do.

Two things really threw me though. One was a couple of people asked me, “Did you have fun?” As strange as it sounds I stopped blank and honestly had no answer for them. I didn’t “not” have fun I guess. But it just wasn’t even in my frame of reference doing this. This journey is a ride for my life. This is the fight of my life. It’s not that I don’t have fun along the way but it’s being driven internally as I *have* to do this. It’s not “have to” as a punishment, but it has become part of my being that is unavoidable. It *IS* me.

When I started the blog last year I remember that moment. It was very late at night and I felt like a caged panther, internally pacing back and forth. I even woke up a friend that night and told them it was really important that I get a picture of myself right then. Those doe deer in the headlights eyes have been replaced, as you can see on the side panel in my emerging from the darkness pic. That picture too I remember, I had rounded the corner into my bathroom and saw something in those new eyes. It shocked me so much I had to take a dozen pictures to replicate it. I don’t think Fools Fitness is a joke, Maybe the first few days it seemed that way… and I am quick to poke fun still, but it’s become much more.

The 2nd thing that really threw me was getting home and the next morning. It would be easy to say I was sore, spent, and tired, but I really wasn’t. I wasn’t actually that sore…What I was I am not sure if I can explain. I have never experienced it. I was hollow. It was not like your really dim tired like a low battery but like the battery had been completely removed. I don’t know if it was that I had spent so much adreniline and energy for so long and experienced what bicyclists call a “bonk” which is like a diabetic shock with low glycemic sugar thing or what. I’ve heard that some astronauts experience heavy depression after returning to Earth, which makes some sense. How do you top that? What exactly do you do after seeing the edge?

I have a long way to go still, no delusions there. Yet this event was a climbing Mount Everest thing somehow. It’s going to take time to process. I don’t have a frame for the experience. I don’t mean it’s a bad thing, it’s just I can’t seem to understand it. The 7 time Tour De France Bicycle racing winner Lance Armstrong had a book titled, “It’s Not About the Bike” and I agree with that title. This wasn’t a bicycle race at all… it’s incredibly more than a bicycle. I can’t grasp it. Maybe in time I will understand it?

At Foolsfitness we are just speechless- Alan

I'm a Bicycle Racer!!!

2010-08-16T12:20:00.002-07:00

I went to race *my* Bicycle at NHIS NASCAR track in a certified NHCC (New Hampshire Cycling Club) for the 1st time last Thursday. I arrived 40 minutes early to wait at the gate with my bicycle in the back of a borrowed Jeep.

My bicycle is a yard sale bought, 26 year old, Sears, Roebuck and Co. 10-speed I’ve nicknamed “Shade” with balloon size tires, not the razor thin ones on the regular racers I chose for several reasons.

One, my huge tires support my weight. They create more friction and take more effort to pedal but none of that really was critical as I knew I wasn’t going to be a contender. This wasn’t a race for me it’s a journey. Actually my front tire leaks a bit of air too. I haven’t dared changing the tube as the tires are showing some dry rot and might crack if I start bending them around. I haven’t got a “real” air pump yet… I begged a guy to use his, most of them have nice vertical pogo stick/jack hammer kinds, but found out that many of them use special nozzles as well. With no luck I used my emergency pump, smaller than a paper towel tube, and cranked it about 50 times. I have no clue what pressure was in my tires… I just felt them, I haven’t invested in a tire gage either yet. If you haven’t picked up on part of the theme, that will continue by the way, this was a passionate but “no budget” endeavor.

Two, this bicycle it was what I could afford. Most of these guys (and a few gals) ride carbon fiber bicycles that can cost thousands of dollars (yes, that’s plural) and weight near half mine and are designed around aerodynamics as well. A seat on one of those bikes can cost more than my bicycle. I had the forethought of removing all the reflectors for a few ounces and perhaps should have removed the kick stand as well for the race but didn’t. I’m not sure if the kick stand bracket is holding the bottom of the frame together. At the end of my riding I started to get concerned as the bike started making a squeaking sound like an old rusted tricycle or red wagon that had been left out in the rain many nights.

I didn’t even have a 10-speed really. One low end rear wheel gear won’t grab on, thus I was sort of running a 8-speed. You may think I’m putting down my bicycle here while I’m just being a realist. Actually my bicycle Shade made me so proud in her running. The Bicycle shop guys I go to (M.C. Cycle and Sports) did wonders for her with what they had to work with here. That night I rode faster on level ground under my own power on a bicycle than I ever have. I even wonder if that bicycle has ever even seen that speed before. How fast you ask? No speedometer yet, remember poor boy here?! I didn’t even purchase a water bottle for it yet either.

I actually have two other bicycles… a currier bicycle, “Boba”, equipped with a water bottle, speedometer, and more… but it’s a workhorse to deliver packages and is a hybrid. The third bicycle, the 74 Raleigh GT grand prix mark 5, “the Green Lady“, is a project for the winter I hope to make my racer for next year… but right now you can‘t even ride it. (that was unearthed for 35 dollars and I plan to raise it from the dead.)

But back to waiting at the gate to get in and get warmed up to race. I was one of the very first there. All the way driving to the speedway in the Jeep I felt like I was in an aerobic workout. The thing was is was a nervous thing at all. If you ever see a freshly caged wolf or panther at a zoo they are constantly pacing their cage emanating with potential energy. I think it was more adrenaline than fear.

I paid my entry to the speed way fee, then my race fee to the NHCC lady. I’ve come to watch a few races but this was my first participation, my first ME actually racing *IN* it. No longer on the sidelines of life folks! There are division classes people race in. A’s are the ninja racers, B’s a bit slower… down to D’s and finally Junior’s. I got a D… for beginning racer. She actually seemed to want to put me in C group first, while that might seem like a big compliment the truth is there were no racers in D group. I politely begged for a D. I was a beginner and this was my first race. I can’t help but wonder if the D in D group secretly stands for “Dead” as in this is how fast dead people can pedal.

She was even kind enough to grant me a number choice of 42, which is about symbolic of the weight I have dropped in the last year. (I hung it on a bookcase at my house after the race!) Actually in my nervousness I miscalculated and should have asked for number 48... But 42 is a great number, just read the book “A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and you will find out that 42 is actually the answer to “life, the universe, and everything” anyways… I sheepishly asked another rider to help pin it on me. They have to go on sideways on your left kidney area so when you are leaned down on the bike and pass the finish line your number can be easily read to be recorded.

So I was *finally* after all this, now about ready to get my bicycle to the track and to the pit row area then race. Gee… this post is getting kind of long…

AM I GOING TO LEAVE YOU WITH A CLIFFHANGER TO THE END OF THIS STORY UNTIL NEXT POST?! Can I possibly be that evil by not telling you how I faired in the race until next time? Yup. Next post… story continues, Coming soon…

At Foolsfitness sometimes we can be cruel- Alan

Rocket Fuel

2010-08-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

(Movie Announcer’s deep voice) Against all odds… He was determined to bicycle race. It didn’t matter he was riding a yard sale 10-speed, or that the aforementioned bicycle had a slowly leaking air front tire or even that the bicycle would be the oldest and heaviest on the track. His own weight twice that of other racers would not deter him from his vision! It didn’t matter that his own car was in the shop, as he begged a friend for use of another to transport the bike and himself to the race. It didn’t matter he worked all day or had little rest due to people fixing his roof and constantly banging on his ceiling for the last two weeks. He would not be denied. Not as those storm clouds loomed over ominously did it deter him.

Oh he knew he had no chance of finishing the races distance. Yet he would do whatever it takes within his power to fight, to show up, and to ride… be it 2 laps or 5. He wasn’t racing any other bicyclist on that track. This was only a war between he and himself. Two months of training and nearly fifty pounds lighter than less than a year and a half ago… He suited up… packed the bicycle in the borrowed Jeep and headed toward his destiny.

(TUNE IN NEXT TIME …-Monday afternoon eastern standard USA- if I can I'll post the results of this wild journey, to find out the conclusion)

The picture above is Rocket fuel. I have no real idea what to eat to prepare for this but I figure some hydration… sugar, long term fat, and some protein… I got red drinks because they are like FIRE and it’s launch time baby!!! I’ve got my panther like muscles ready to spring, pounce, and sprint… ready… Go!

At Foolsfitness it’s really about T-minus 2 hours until track time so we got to sign off- Alan

Zero Calorie Sundae!

2010-08-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

That’s right folks I’ve found the zero calorie sundae. Actually it’s a six ounce strawberries and cream frozen yogurt that comes in at 160 calories and it’s only a dollar. (I won’t give a brand name because they don’t get free advertising from me!!!) It seems to work pretty well for my needs of an Ice Cream fix.

Why did I say it’s no calories you ask? Well, I decided to go for a long walk to the supermarket to get it. I just tracked it with my bicycle (for another one today) and it comes in at 6 miles. I’m thinking calories in and out must be pretty close to even? Moreover last night I got to enjoy a nice sunset and even found 2 pennies on the walk.

Today I hit the scales at work for an unbelievable 295… the lowest in the journey of the blog. I think I can now safely say I’m in the two hundred club!!! I’m not sure if you can actually loose weight off your wrists but I just had a link removed from my watch too!!! I know that my old college ring is way loose now. I’m thinking of thread wrapping it for the time being as resizing it now seems silly when I’m going to have to do it lower again soon.

Updates:

1st I picked up new cables to install on the green lady (my 74 Irish Raleigh 10-speed bicycle restoration project) and am trying to figure out the old style tubeless tires, as they are going to need to be pulled off. They are so dry rotted they are like stone.

2nd Weekend number two of the roofers banging on my roof. I’m trying to channel the thing into positives, like forcing myself out for extended walks.

3rd My poor little car indeed needs a new head gasket. What can I say except big bucks ouches? But it needs to be done. What you going to do?

STRESS: I mentioned last post about stress. I’m trying to learn that the solace of a heap of Chinese Food or pint of ice cream seems like a quick temporary reprieve… but in the end it costs, a lot. I’m trying to see through the eyes that wolfing down all that stuff out of hand in reality ends up robbing me of a little bit of life for that fake momentary comfort.

So, things could be way smoother… but they could be worse. However I’m really thinking about how I’m starting to look at food in proper proportions, and while enjoying it not just eating as some kind of Olympic sport or hiding in the momentary comfort of it.

It still freaks people out when they hear that I still eat Funny Bone Cupcakes and Cookies, or donuts. It’s all in the fact that I don’t eat them all at once. It’s the Zen way of foolsfitness Awareness, mindfulness, the power of the plate…

Foolsfitness is not about the “Common sense” guru’s pill popping, exercise gismo, or the only fruit on Friday fad diets.

Foolsfitness is UN-Common Sense! - Alan

Stress

2010-08-05T09:42:00.000-07:00

It’s been one of those weeks where you end up on the couch in a fetal position wishing you never got up. Well, in honesty it could be worse but I don’t do the stress thing very well at all.

First the landlord is working on the roof. I live on the top floor and while I appreciate having a new roof trying to stay there during work… it’s like being in a drum. So I figure I’ll head to the beach and go for a swim. I get to the beach and there is a high bacteria warning… so I can’t swim and can’t relax in my house…

The next day I leave my house trying to do the beach thing again leaving before the banging starts and still there is the high bacteria thing going on and still can't swim. A friend gave me a ticket to go on a ship that goes around the lake. I finally get a bit of peace and quiet. However I seemed to time it all wrong as somehow I got back to my house just as the roofers came for the late afternoon work they decided to do.

So Monday rolls around and I’m pretty much drained not getting the rest I should, but I cheer myself up as I’ve been eyeing a new netbook… 5 hours later as I’m driving from work I’m pretty sure the head gasket in my car is shot (A pretty major repair) … so somehow in a mater of hours I went from going to look at and nearly ready to get a netbook I’d been eyeing for months to trying out how to balance the bills for the month and pay the car guy and rent at the same time, in the hole big time.

So thus ends the tale until next time… I’m waiting to see what the mechanic says after he’s able to look at the car.

So the picture is me over the weekend before the anvils started falling down around me. (I looked so happy) Somehow this morning work scale says 299. Not bad with a bit of stress eating. Maybe this is some weird chance to learn about functioning under pressure, testing my metal, resolve, and general invincibility...

But At Foolsfitness we have to admit we are tired.- Alan

Sick + Twisted Madness

2010-07-29T09:58:00.001-07:00

There it is… I can’t say what came over me. I don’t think you can claim I’m a user, but I am “experimenting” with the salad thing. This is the 1st salad I think I may have eaten in I don’t know how long!

I approached the salad bar cautiously as the produce stocking kids watched in amazement for in the end there isn’t even any salad dressing on this stuff. I had no real idea how to proceed making an actual salad… you see in my very few experiences long ago the general plan was just to load it with as much gooeyness and drench it with as much salad dressing as possible.

Another amazing picture…

I’ll grant you there is some crunchiness and lots of color in this stuff. My basic plan was to take just a tiny little of everything… I suddenly realized how sick and twisted this idea was… It was my plan at the Chinese Food Buffet place yet scaled down to near sanity in reasonable portion sizes. Freaky times my friends… freaky times… After the whole bizarre trip I got so scared so I got a candy bar later to clear that taste out of my mouth. (OK it’s not that bad) but I ate little green tree things and leaves I mean come on!

You should have seen the odd looks I got as I took the container out in the parkking lot of the supermarket and took a picture of it on the hood of my car.

I saw 299.5 on the scales at work today… maybe a touch dehydrated but that’s with shoes and all, and I’m counting it. Of course even in a day my weight can shift up to 4 pounds… but still having the number 200 something even if it’s 299 seems like something monumentally less than even just 301.

At Foolsfitness we are not sold on the salad thing yet… but might experiment again- Alan

Shopping Adventure Part II

2010-07-25T20:39:00.000-07:00

Here are the Emperor’s new clothes… comfortable enough to wear a day, 1st time in a very long time wearing an XL shirt without a number in front of it. Those shorts 8 inches less than a year an a half ago from a 54 to a 48! Next it’s time to loose that egg shape and get them to look right on me… I can’t get too comfortable into that dangerous “Breather Syndrome” that someone told me about where I forget where I want to go and loose focus on the choices I am making… So it’s time to get work on getting rid of that glazed donut look around the middle!

Speaking of glazed donuts, this picture was taken in front of a wall next to a local Duncan Donuts. Before that I had walked in the place and stood just out of line for a good minute or two… seeing those racks filled with all that baked and puffy goodness. The Butternut Crunch tried to call to me, we had been very close friends in the past but I pretended not to hear. Everything Bagel tried to tempt me with some cream cheese too.

I finally got in line and I asked the woman behind the counter if they had a nutritional sheet I could have… It was a riot, the woman looked at me so confused… I think she may have been mentally trying to figure out what other donut shops they could call on to restock their shelves after I had ordered.

After a moment she stumbled out the words, “You could get them on the internet.” Then I think I gave her a complete mental shut down as I just tilted my head and said, “Thank you” turned around and just left. Not a single donut in hand. A couple of years ago it would have been at least two and a large ice coffee with double sugars and maybe even cream in the coffee. That was so fun!

(In other news…) Sean Anderson is encouraging people to drink more water… Foolsfitness is giving a thumbs up to the whole water idea in general. Fools Fitness even got the picture to prove it!!! We try to drink some daily… We even shower with the stuff ! A great story that came with this shot is immediately after a friend took the picture it started to sprinkle, then it started raining harder and harder. My impulse was to get back to the car, not that I cared much about being wet but I wanted my camera dry.

In the car I asked “Where’s the water jug?“ In my haste picking up my shoes I had forgotten the 5 gallon jug on the beach. It was down pour raining, but I shrugged to my fate and ran to get it. Look closely at that last sentence… see the word *RAN*? I had this weird epiphany half way through ,”Wait? I’m running…a distance?!” I got back to the car and gleefully giggle, “Did you see it… I *RAN*!” to the friend almost like a little kid says “Look momma! Look what I can do!” Let’s just say maybe it’s not a big deal for some folk…(and apparently not that person from that look of “so what?“ I got back) But if you can not remember the last time that you really sprinted, at least not vividly that feeling of flying, almost like there just be that slightest chance that you take one more step and just might float into the air… it’s like a little kid who finally takes those training wheels off their bicycle. I can run! Well, at least for a little bit…

It’s surreal… I guess I had this mental block telling myself “I don’t run” (which was very likely true for a very long time) but somehow I finally forgot to remind myself. I didn’t plan it and didn’t think about it and then it was almost like looking in as third person… hey, you know your running here, right? Maybe that’s why Foolsfitness sometimes refers to himself in third person…That surreal thing, then there is the world domination evil mastermind thing, and hopefully it also may impress the ladies too. (By the way ladies, yes that guy in the pictures above is single… commence swooning.)

At Fools Fitness we refer to ourselves at times in third person because… well…we’ve just got too much arrogance to fit into first person sometimes! -Alan

Worship at the Sixteen Hundred Calorie Chapel

2010-07-23T15:28:00.000-07:00

I drew this very early this morning after watching a DVD movie that someone very dear to my heart bought me as a gift. Sometimes it seems like lately I've been worshiping the god of the fast food chapels.

Below is a pic of the flat on my Raliegh Venture bicycle "Boba"... what can I say, some times it's just hard to get out of bed... and then away from the kitchen, or the fast food joints, or the ice cream...

One more cola, a bit more ice cream, and a couple of cupcakes and I'll be ok...

At Foolsfitness we feel like the girl in the Wizard of OZ... once the tornado stops we will be ok. (Oh wait... then there is all those munchkins of the lollipop guild, yum!) **Put the candy down slowly sir and step away**- Alan

Breaking News

2010-07-19T11:47:00.000-07:00

We interrupt this normal blog posting to share with you this breaking news. I’ve finally beaten back the weight enough to see the scale read under 300! That’s 299 and something. For soooo long all I got was EEEEE or OL for overload on that home scale… now it actually identifies me as a person!!! Once I got my home scale to function I went weigh crazy, weighing with and without shoes, trying on different clothes, after I went to the bathroom, or took a drink. That number was with wearing my cross. (yes fill in the blank there)

Then within a week naturally I switched to my Dr. Evil super villian self complete with the evil laugh and world domination plans thinking I’m invincible… little extras without regard, and the next "breaking" news… about 7 pounds gained in about seven days (currently 307)!!! I think that breaks a record for me for most gained in that period of time.

Those clothes I mentioned buying in the last post I went crazy with them too. First wearing them to work. Then going out. Then around the house... basically until they smelled just plain bad. I just couldn't wrap my mind around wearing them somehow and kept on trying them back on. (then I was so giddy with it I completely forgot to take a picture of me wearing them to boot)

The last bit of current "breaking" news… my bicycle "Boba", her back tire, punctured not once but in two places by glass today. So I’m stranded about 5 miles out from home looking at a very long walk… and the friendly state trooper policeman (who also enjoys riding bicycles) sees me in my plight and offers me a lift home so I can get my car to come back and rescue my poor Raleigh bicycle. I've named that bicycle well... My "Boba Fett" bicycle seems to be just the essence of chaos.

As I’ve mentioned before I have the bicycle repair shop on speed dial. I got it repaired with a new tube, but I asked them to walk me through repairing it… next time I’m not going to be stranded but can fix it on the go as needed. (well after next paycheck when I can get a another spare tube and a portable air pump)

I guess the current breaking news is that I'm sort of on overload. Some of it very good too. But I guess somehow it seems like a lot at once. Have any of you folks who have lost weight, did you go somehow temperarily insane by it?

We now return you to your normal foolsfitness blog posts.- Alan

Transformations + Shopping Adventure (Part I)

2010-07-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

This was the day. I had thought about this trip for a while, a long while. My palms sweated as I grasp the steering wheel and put the car in gear. Driving to this fate my heart raced. I needed a plan, but an undertaking like this I don’t really have a reference for. I had to count on my quick wit and raw basic survival instincts if I had any chance to make it.

I thought of some kind of military movement, scout the area… move in from the side slowly, keep a keen eye on the lookout for any movement. I had walked slowly into the department store and eased my way toward the clothing section. The guard, the “can I help you find something” person seemed to make about 5 minute loops. I needed perfect timing, else I knew I’d be shuffled off into the big men’s section area that contained sweat pants and plain cotton tees in 3 and 4XLS. It was a place they were trained to herd guys like me.

I knew that section well. It’s the bad lands area where they charge some cruel sort of tax of another 2 dollars because you’re big. I had tried to rationalize it in the past with reason of the garments just using more fabrics but deep down I know it’s a punishment, the big guy tax. Moreover it’s a punishment because there is no clothes of any fashion at all… just some kind of single color prison garbs.

I slowly moved quietly into a corner of clothes that had emblems, patterns, even logos and cartoons on them. My eyes were stunned by a mosaic of colors, I just stood there for 10 minutes. I actually had a choice. Eventually a woman stood beside me looking at character tee shirts and gave me a warm smile, almost to say, “It’s ok… you’re welcome here.” Did she know? Was she a guardian angel who knew me over 40 pounds heavier? I took a cleansing breath and tried not to tremble.

I cautiously reached for a pair of cargo shorts, the biggest they had on a normal rack. The last time I wore something like this was when I was a kid. I remember years ago I had just given up on this section of clothing all together as any hope to find something in my size was just futile. Now I had to go to the dressing room to try this thing on. There was no way around it. I had to ring that attendant bell that makes everyone in the store within 50 yards look at you. Inside that room I changed into those shorts, and just sort of pulled them up and buttoned them. I looked into the full length mirror on the door just stunned. I sat down on the stool in there and just looked at this image of a guy that I guess was me for a very long time. It was so long I’m pretty sure that the woman gave me an odd but just momentary sideways glance when I left the changing room.

I kept looking at those small, so tiny, cargo shorts as I walked stunned with this glazed expression on my face back toward the men‘s section… they looked somehow so small that they could not have a chance to fit me. Yet this trip down the twilight zone wasn’t done… I promised myself I’d get a shirt too.

Once more I stood in front of clothes. I loathed that 2 dollar big men’s tax and somehow out of sheer anger I grabbed an XL shirt. I’d make it fit! I’d inhale for all my worth! That shirt would stretch before my sheer will until the seams would give in!!! Again I returned to the dressing room. Luckily I didn’t have to ring the bell again. I scooted in before she even saw the shirt I chose, because I knew she’d take it away from me for my devious plans of shirt abuse were afoot. Then I… um… put it on. I could breathe somehow! I could sit. It even seemed to have a tiny bit of stretch left in it? Again I sat in that room and starred into the mirror. An XL fit? Surely it was a big XL, a gift of the Gods, but even so it was an XL. I checked the size again… there was no number in front of the XL. Moreover… NO big men’s 2 dollar tax came with this shirt. The shorts still came with that loathsome tax but the shirt did not.

Before I left I went other places in that store… then I wonder If I was abducted by aliens again as somehow I had spent 2 ½ hours there, or couldn’t account for the lost time as I was on some spaceship… but in *PART II* the story continues with this odd adventure wondering the store that ends at home with trying something else purely impossible… and also picture of me in my NEW CLOTHES!

(The pictures I found were of over a few years I think the oldest was about 4-5 years back, the newest within a month)

At Foolsfitness we hate the dressing room bell you need to ring!- Alan

1360 Calories under 5 Bucks

2010-07-12T11:20:00.000-07:00

How’s this for a goof up? I go for a long walk and I’m famished hungry, delirious from heat exhaustion, about to pass out from dehydration (aren‘t I great with excuses!) … I stop in to McD’s and get a double cheese burger, mcchicken, small fry, and a sundae… Under 5 bucks and over 1300 calories!!! Add a couple of ketchups and any fudge factor in their numbers and it’s easily over 1400.

Before I continue with the story : I haven’t posted in a while due to here being in a massive heat wave mostly. As I work a lot outside, my main focus after work is to just go to bed next to my air conditioner. I haven’t rode my bicycle in over a week due to this heavy heat and humidity, that looks like it will carry pretty much through this upcoming weekend at least. On a positive note though, I’ve tried to substitute some swimming at the lake in to just cool off and also get in a little movement. I’ve also had a art job doing a family crest coloring job to put on tote bags, and when I’m on the computer lately it’s been all art.

But back to my story of walking through the vast wastelands of heat and humidity. Luckily it was a long walk, and considering me not eating anything else for the afternoon and night, after I add in breakfast and a snack before I’m tipping easily over a normal dietary requirement of calories for a total day! Can you believe 1360 calories in a couple of sandwiches, tiny fry, and small sundae! I tried to adjust the best I could with what I had done but the “power of the plate” and what I choose to put on it or remove from it… Well, Can I blame that evil clown and his dark powers? I could have eaten 3 candy bars and had less calories!

I could have done this waaaaayyyy better with switching to a yogurt parfait without granola and single cheeseburger to bleed off over 300 calories in just that. Ironically the fries were the least of the calories in the meal. Of course I could have tweaked it further with holding the mayo… or one of the items all together. Wait! Can I blame that wonderful menu board lit with such colorful pictures of all that beautiful bounty to behold? They have some subliminal flicker in it that renders everyone helpless, a slave to any whim of hunger… right?

You’ve at least got to cut me a bit of credit of being aware of what I had chosen (at least after) and not just shrugging my shoulders or not paying it any mind at all like the old Alan. I even tried to adjust the day around it the best I was able to. I did NOT order a regular coke and can’t remember exactly the last time I did. Still, I could have gone with a big mac and large fry and still been under that 1360!

I shudder just watching someone dumping sugar and cream into their ice coffee now, but I’ve still got to learn to eat out well. I can now boast seeing 300.5 on the scales (soooo close to that 299 mark!) yet I’ve still got to see how well I can learn to navigate real world conditions eating out rather than at home making my own meal.

A recently friends invited me to a local ice cream shop. While I chose small, perhaps I should next time substitute frozen yogurt for the ice cream. Again, that small awareness can make a small tweak a huge difference in calories.

Maybe I should still carry around a granola bar to stave off rabid hunger in the future. I’ve got out of that habit but in the past it seems to have served me well. Also, of course, to remember this and learn from it to keep my goals in parallel not perpendicular to my choices in the future.

At Foolsfitness we have progressed toward goals with buying 34 bags of M+M’s yesterday… insane? Actually is it? One normal sized serving bag of the new pretzel kind of M+M’s falls in at 150 calories, which I actually think of as a good snack choice. I’m also looking into some frozen yogurts that literally could be the difference of nearly a thousand calories off a Ben + Jerry’s Ice Cream container of similar size!

In the end I actually think of it as a victory. I hugely failed caloric wise, but I’m aware of it and learning (Hopefully) Actually I have a bunch more of wonderful news to share… but alas this is getting to be a long post so I guess it should wait till next time…

I hate that overused phrase “lifestyle changes” but it really seems to me like I’m having to totally deconstruct the old ways and having to learn everything all over again. I don’t think things like the Chinese Buffet really have the same pull at all now, as it‘s not just me pulling back (I think that tug of war would be just a “diet“) but trying to set out pushing in a whole new direction. Although I do still like their ice cream! But still, walking away after one plate and some ice cream… I’d find that difficult to envision a couple of years ago.

At Foolsfitness we are babies taking their first steps.- Alan

Twilight: Eclipse, Are We Food Vampires?

2010-07-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

I am of 2 minds when it came to this series. One me could barely get through the first two books and movies (I can only hear about how this girl Bella swoons over this guy so many times before my eyes glaze over) Yet I’m fascinated by the pull of the story for so many and enjoyed Eclipse (the movie and book) far more than the first 2. Naturally I can’t help but poke fun in that idea of domesticating vampires and naturally mock “sparkly!” as the guy twitters in the sunlight.

Back to a fascinating idea though, The series is written from the point of view of the girl Bella. The author just published a book in the story from another vampire character’s point of view. “Bree Tanner” gets a few minutes in the film and a few pages in the book Eclipse, But in this short book “The short life of bree tanner” you get the story told from her point of view through her eyes.

What does this have to do with weight loss and getting fit you may be asking yourself? I think about how throughout all of this Bella and Bree (and everyone else) is making choices. Some of them are tough choices. Most of them have consequences.

What’s the draw about Vampires that fascinates us? As I read that “short life of bree tanner” I can’t help but think of how these “newborn” vampires are almost slaves to their drive and whom for more blood almost in a frenzy. It has such a power over them. Even the “cool” Cullen clan has to fight those urges to stay in control, to make the right choices.

I’m hesitant to talk about things in terms of “food addiction” yet if there is some truth to it, no question to the facts that hunger drives us and eating literally alters our chemical balance, We seem to be put in a very dangerous position too. Consider we must “feed” or we will starve. We couldn’t be an alcoholic that chooses to never drink again. We need to learn such control. If we give in to all the eating frenzy we could kill… ourselves.

Are we Food Vampires? Do I somehow loose a bit of my humanity attacking the half gallon ice cream or bag of donuts? Boy, for me it takes a lot of the shine of coolness of vampires off and now it’s like reading those two books and seeing it though another character’s eyes… this time it’s almost an affliction, even food could easily be a poison in excess unchecked uncontrolled as well as a necessary needed cure for hunger...

At Foolsfitness it’s time to feed. Yet I need to learn a new way… sort of the Cullen way to food. To sedate that hunger without loosing myself in the process -Alan

Deprivation and My Wrists

2010-06-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

I found my wrist bone a while back and remember being very concerned at first wondering what that hard lump was. If you’ve ever been seriously heavy such odd things can be so profound. I can’t help but touch that bone once in a while out of some weird amazement. I joke with friends about finding half an ab too. Feeling the bone in my hip, ribcage, or being able to finally stand up on the pedals on my bicycle or zoom up a hill that I couldn’t tackle before. They are all little treats almost as good as cupcakes!

I actually did have a donut this morning. (Notice the word “a”) Sometimes on a whim I want to hit the Chinese Food Buffet or go for a quart of ice cream… I’ve been thinking about “DEPRIVATION”, Why should I “deprive” myself of eating a whole pizza or (fill in the blank here________ ) ???

Yet really I have already been depriving myself in a way by doing those old things! They have forced me to sit on the bench in life. To be on the sidelines while others who are not limited by the extra 150 pounds or what ever that lets them enjoy life more fully.

I heard something on the news about the new “Harry Potter” theme park. Apparently in their designs they made some of the rides with harnesses that just are not going to go around the average 300 pound guy. Should I ever want to go there, I’d be “deprived” of that!!! I’ve been deprived of spiking a volleyball or hitting a home run. Even at one point of zipping up a flight of stairs without being forced to do an imitation of Darth Vader’s breathing at the end. I’ve even been deprived of using my own digital bathroom scale, for I weigh so much that all it says is * O L * (overload? Like I need a reminder?) I remember at one point I didn’t even dare to step on one of the older doctor scales as they maxed at 350.

I have traded a few king sized candy bars to see the number 306 on the scale at the office today. Yet as I mentioned I did have a donut today, and a frozen yogurt cone yesterday too. Lately I’ve been aiming for around 300 calorie mini meals when I get up, about 11, 2, 5, and 8 at night. If I’m just a bit mindful 300 calories can be decent. That could be a candy bar or a bag of chips, chicken noodle soup with a small can of mixed veggies in it, two packs of oat meal, a burrito … just not all at once. If I want a bigger meal I just try to combine two of those times and do up to 600. Just mindful, aware, purpose full.

Here is a fun game. Get a big bowl and go over to your sink. Run what you think is a cup (8 ounces) in it and now pour it into a measuring cup. If you are like me and some other members of the Foolsfitness Fine Fellowship you can be pretty far off! Really try it, you may be surprised. I’m trying to learn sane serving portions and I’m considering a food scale. I keep a half cup measuring cup in my oatmeal container to use to so I don’t just randomly keep pouring.

Speaking of random, I’d like to try to catch up on a few different thank you’s, questions from folks and all.

* Thank you for the new award. As you know I run with scissors so following all the directions for these awards is about as difficult for me as herding cats. But in thanks I’ll just give you 4 random facts about me: I tend to like Existentialist thinking, I own the movie “Flushed Away”, and I like real old style hats like fedoras or driving caps but are not too fond of baseball caps. I tend to read a lot… some books written before I was born.

* Sports in general. I’m not big on watching any sport… I’d rather try to play them but only in a fun, no pressure, game. I never thought golf was interesting at all but it might be fun to drive the little cars. However miniature golf is a hoot. Every golf game should involve a windmill that you need to time your putt., or cute animals that eat your golf balls then catapult them someplace. If I had to watch a game I’d watch Soccer (real football), it seems faster than baseball, without the stops every four seconds of American football, yet not going up and back 300 times like basket ball. NASCAR bothers me. I want to see them turn both ways like road racing. I also want them to drive actual stock type cars that are close to real cars that anyone could own.

* The “Green Lady” 74 Raleigh vintage bicycle project I haven’t done anything with yet beyond asking my local bike shop which quoted me about 200 dollars in repairs and also taking out a bicycle repair book from the library to try to understand how to fix it up. I’m thinking it may be a winter tinkering project, or I might just be like the guy who has an old hotrod project in his barn that he goes and stares at from time to time and enjoys just the ideas and possibilities. I do have major concerns about the rusted front fork. I am trying to come up with plans to completely reverse and reangle the handle bars too. It goes against the general design as they want you to be crouched down for aerodynamics, but I find it really hard on my back to ride like that and I want to ride more sitting up.

At Foolsfitness we either now “deprive” you of any more to this post (until next time) and “deprive” ourselves of writing anymore (until next post)… but don‘t deprive yourselves from living life!- Alan

Play Ball Batman!

2010-06-24T00:11:00.000-07:00

Today I learned I can *NOT* catch a softball and they are not really “soft” at all. In the Foolsfitness world domination plans Cross training is important. After I am done praying, which is sort of a pun but no joke: Jesus Saves yet I don’t want to Bible thump here… Anyway I try new things in fitness and of course try to learn to eat a little better and in more sane portions.

So today I played my first “game” which is actually not a “league” at all but a community pick up game where people just show up and try to have fun hitting balls around and try to run in circles. I’ve never played beyond being forced to in gym class so many years ago I‘d rather not mention, I don’t own a glove (I had to borrow one) but I showed up. I honestly couldn’t catch one ball. Since I have never played I assume if I keep trying this I might just be able to catch a ball someday perhaps out of sheer luck or a developing skill.

The people there were very great and mellow. I actually could hit a bit. Over the night I got two singles. I think they were being kind and really only earned one though. Yet via team mates I actually eventually got all the way around moving a base on each hit and scored my first run too! Actually “running” may be a strong term, although I don’t think I waddled.

In trying to get into the spirit of things I created my own baseball card. I’m not sure if you can be really official unless you have one? I also wore the tallest socks I had and pulled up my sweat pant legs to my knees. I think if I play again I should chew gum too?

I currently have lost some feeling in my pitching hand and what I can feel in it aches. But it was some fun to try out something new and in the end I did have a workout judged by my severe need of a shower when I got home.

(If you have trouble reading the “Stats” on the card)
Hits: Took A Few to the Head
Saves: Only Jesus Saves
Spits: Pretty Well
Bats: Poorly
Throws: Worse
Runs: No, Just Trundles
Doubles/Triples: Portion Sizes
Pinch Hitter: Why pinch the hitters?

Feel free to click on the image to enlarge copy an print it. Fold it in half vertically and have your very own collectible and amazing, “The Batman” Alan, Baseball card!

At Foolsfitness we are not “Out” of the game yet!

8 Inches Gone an 3 New Notches on Belt

2010-06-21T03:35:00.000-07:00

I have some motivational clothes on my bathroom door as a visual reminder of where I want to go. I’ve been wearing size 54 clothes that are getting more and more baggy. After making the third new notch in my belt on a whim I tried to put on the smaller shirt and pants. I just put on size 46 jeans and buttoned up a shirt that I haven’t in a very long time (if ever?) I hit the scales and saw 310.5 the other day.

It’s odd, in this journey I’ve dropped to that weight before about 6 months ago then started gaining. Before I couldn’t put them on. What I hadn’t realized is I have been trading some fat now and getting more muscle! Don’t misunderstand, along the journey there have been lots of goofs where I have again wolfed down a whole pizza, seen a half gallon of ice cream as a challenge, and visited the Chinese Food buffet place loads of times.

I’ve been learning, even in mistakes I’ve been reflecting on what happened. I hope somehow this may motivate someone out there that is struggling and also of course share this in a celebration with my many blogging friends. I can not say if I can do it you can too… But I will *SHOUT* if I can make progress, maybe… just maybe if I can do it maybe YOU can do it too!!!

SO WHAT IS THE TRICK? WHAT IS FOOLSFITNESS MAGIC SECRET? I’m *NOT* about fad diets, magic pills, super workout gismos… I want to even urge you to see a doctor and have them monitor your progress to be safe before trying anything (Even though I haven’t) but I’ll share some of the things I’ve done, they may not be right for you, or even safe… Maybe you have a better way for you, if so great! I do have a couple of degrees but they are NOT studies in physical health. I’m no doctor. (ok, enough disclaimers) here is a few of the things I‘ve been doing and thinking about…

VISUAL REMINDERS: I’ve kept a coin in my pocket, yellow live strong style band around my wrist, a picture of a healthy bicycle rider on my fridge door, and the aforementioned small motivational clothes hanging right on my bathroom door.

FOOD: At first it was just eat a little less and move a little more. Then it was reading the packages and really thinking about the caloric intake and monitoring how much I ate in a day with a goal of around 1500 calories. I have no interest in magic bars or super shakes… I want “real” food. Many days chips, pizza, chimichungas, even candy bars get in. I try to have a goal of “Mindful, Aware, and the Power of the Plate” you can see in the Foolsfitness Pledge I created on the right column. I’m starting to look at reasonable portions even thinking what if I took half of what old Alan would put on his plate? I ask myself “Am I really hungry?” Is this sane? What about one sandwich instead of two. What about mustard instead of mayo? Do I need all that sugar and creamer in my coffee?
Then I try things a bit different.

One now it’s a can of chicken noodle soup with a small can of mixed veggies in it. A major bowl of hearty soup for just under 300 calories. Or looking at a little difference of two brands of chicken and tuna salad. One can be 100 calories less in that simple choice. Yogurt differences between brands in calories can be significant too.

I *DON’T* WORKOUT! What?! Workout denotes Work, effort, drudgery! I play! I’ve picked swimming and bicycling that’s easy on this heavy guys knees, volleyball that is fun. Walking looking at the birds and trees. Kids get plenty of exercise if they go out outside and play. I want recess. Why beat on my knees painfully running or contorting myself around some weird workout gismo machine?!

GOALS: first it did start out as just eat a little less and move. Then it started to evolve. Without specific goals it’s so easy to drift aimlessly getting nowhere fast. Now it’s an hour swimming, or 10 miles on my bicycle. Training for an upcoming bicycle event. Even longer goals like trying to improve to become a personal trainer to help others who are like me, understanding more of what it’s like to walk in shoes weighed down with 350 pounds. No offense to the fit all their life jocks who are personal trainers, who I’m sure many are wonderful people, but can they really understand what it’s like to live as someone who weighs twice what they do without experiencing it? Several commenters mentioned writing a book. If that helps people maybe I will in the future someday. Hopefully it will be more fresh and real, without the diet gimmicks. Hopefully people will laugh and be encouraged!

MODIVATION: Perseverance is so hard I can’t even write it without my spell check. If it was easy we would all be fit and healthy. People want the simple quick trick. IT’S HARD! How’s that for sugar substitute coating it? I mentioned the motivation clothes, picture on my fridge. Reading people’s blogs and writing my own forces me to think, or reminds me, about where I want to go. Vision in goals. I’m even considering getting a subscription to a fitness related magazine so each month I’m forced to get a reminder of my goal just by checking my mail. Even my cat in the picture at the top of this post is curled up with a Lance Armstrong book looking for her motivation!

Phew, long post… but allow me to take some time to gloat in being so jazzed about putting on a size 46. I’m sure to some of you it might still sound huge while others may long for it. I’ve got some way to goal but I dare you to actually whip out a real life ruler and look at eight inches visually, in reality, and say that isn’t an accomplishment. Maybe someone reading this understands my struggles, fight, progress, and now realizes that just maybe they can do it too. Maybe some of you ahead of me can keep on pulling me along through the tough times (PLEASE!)

At Fools fitness an Atlas weight belt now drapes over the bathroom door, it’s like a Championship World Wrestling Title Belt waiting for me to fight for it, and win it!- Alan

Riding Wildfire for the First Time

2010-06-18T04:02:00.000-07:00

It was a horse who had been neglected and forgotten for so long. She was cooped up in a tiny stable, unable to run for ages. Today she tasted some freedom, and the rush thrilled her. The first few strides were tentative, even wobbly like a newborn horse. I brought “Shade” next to the runway at the airport. We stayed there for a while and as those planes took off and landed I think both of our pulses quickened. Especially as a small jet’s engine whined with power as it took off like a rocket in almost vertical assent.

I had planned a six mile ride, for both of us to get use to each other. I was on a new saddle seat that was like a rock and with every bump in the road it jarred me to the bone.

If you haven’t caught on, this isn’t a horse… but rather an old eighties 10-speed road bike I’ve been trying to get back to functional for a while now. It’s a whole new riding position, as I try to keep adjusting my hands on the “reins”, those curly handlebars will take some getting use to as well as the feeling like I’m riding in the fetal position.

I used the horse analogy here because it was such an odd ride, but in an exciting way. As I said at first I was just trying to adjust. As I explored the gears a bit I started pumping my legs, pom pom pom. It was like an old horse just set free after being tied up for so long. Suddenly I started really rocketing, “she” wanted to run free and wild! I went so fast for a short burst I actually got scared. I’ve stripped the bike for weight of about just about everything not essential so I don’t have a speedometer on it to say how high it got up to.

But it was like an old horse just set free in another way too. After a mile sprint my body screamed to slow down. By the two and three mile mark it was back to a easy gait trot. I headed back to put it in my car. It’s going to take time for my body to adjust to the increased pull of aerobic capacity and also my muscles building up for the new riding position. Almost like an old horse that had to start out slow again, but got so over thrilled to be able to run once more.

To get Shade back to my car I had a short steep hill to climb. I was spent but didn’t want to walk much so I made a run on the flat before the hill figuring I’d stop half way up and walk it the rest. It was almost like she wanted one more sprint before going back in the stable of the back of my car. I zipped up the hill so far I just thought, just keep riding… and I did all the way back to the car up that hill.

I didn’t hit 6 miles, more like 4... But sometimes you don’t make your goals… somehow you make something even better. I got to my car and glanced down at my shirt. To use one last horse analogy… I was the one ridden hard and put away wet. Nice. It amazes me to think about how a year or so ago I wouldn’t even dream or even think about trying some of this stuff.

Well as that song goes, it looks like I “got a ticket to ride”… but unlike that girl, I care.

Speaking of songs…at the Foolsfitness gym that old song “Wildfire” plays on the speakers often. Actually as a kid it was one of my favorite songs.-Alan

Laughing with 14 Pounds of Kitty Litter

2010-06-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

Picture this. Sweet victories!!! It’s pouring rain, as a couple of teenagers ride by my bicycle and do the Simpson version of “Haw-ha!” They had no idea for they laughed in ignorance while I was laughing in sheer bliss riding my bicycle

What is so funny about riding your bicycle in the pouring rain? 14 pounds of kitty litter, or rather 2 seven pound bags of kitty litter in my rear panniers of my bicycle, along with speed stick, 10 razors, wallet and cell phone… oh and a paid bill. (hey that envelope counts for an ounce or so!!!) all in plastic bags to stay nice and dry. Some folks may call it crazy, other’s may call it doing errands, or training… maybe it’s all three?

I was in a cotton shirt and khaki shorts, likely a few pounds heavier too being soaked. What is so funny here?! I laughed in joy for one thing… about a year ago I tried to tackle a hill I call the Friendly’s hill due to that restaurant at the top and last year I had to stop half way. Moreover last year I recall a kid on a BMX bicycle whipping by me and a mother with a stroller almost keeping pace ahead.

This day was different. I laughed. A deep laugh as weighed down by rain and kitty litter I climbed that hill with breath to spare! No stops.

I also laughed today as I stepped on the scales at work…. 316. That’s about 1 ¾ less than last check. I laughed again as I quick snapped this picture above with my phone… My cat has other plans for the proper use of my gym bag.

It’s pretty funny right now at Foolsfitness- Alan

The Ninja in the Candy Aisle

2010-06-09T05:53:00.002-07:00

A dark silence fell around me as I stood in that aisle of brightly colored bags that contained all sorts of shapes of sweet candy goodness. I remember being there for a very long time in some odd trance state. As an old west gunslinger I stared down a pound bag of M+Ms. I justified to myself that they were a good price, the best deal for the money. I told myself I could just eat a few and tuck the bag away for later in my house.

At that moment a petite woman with a little girl came into my peripheral vision. The little girl picked up a big candy bar and asked her mother the question… The woman shook her head no and told the little one to put it back, then shuffled the child away from this dangerous scene of a very large man standing, staring into the oblivion of chocolate. The woman obviously sensed in some natural maternal protection instinct to whisk her child away from this vampire of chocolate prepared to pounce. The Late Croc Hunter guy would be saying, “Danger, danger, danger” right about now.

I had heard that woman’s “no” in the back of my head before. A small voice of my own in me echoed it. Then the louder voice claimed I would not be deprived!!! Wait, am I hearing voices… (well, that’s for another blog post) but I took a step back. I picked up the half pound one instead all proud of myself, but yet again I didn’t even need to look at the calories on the back to know what half of a ton of calories is.

Then a box boy of the supermarket approached very slowly. He had seen this look from this size of person in this aisle before. He was not going to interpose himself between me and the candy for his own safety. Making no sudden moves to startle me he wisely eased himself behind me and passed without a sound.

I set the second biggest bag of M+Ms back too. Then I decided I would get two king sized candy bars. Sure it was an insane choice, yet somehow justified. As I approached the check out I just felt Mr. Foolsfitness giving me that gentle tap on the shoulder. “Mindful, aware, choices.”

I set back that king sized four pack of peanut butter cups for two normal packs… one I would give to a friend. And that massive family sized bag of M+M’s by the check out had reduced itself to a tear and share one, a sort of one up from a normal candy bar.

I enjoyed my single pack of 2 normal sized peanut butter cups before I got home. But when I got back I saw that bag of M+M’s once again. First it went in the fridge. I was confused. It didn’t instantly go in my mouth! Then I laughed and took it out and put it up on my bookcase shelf as a trophy. Today I won. Sometime it may get eaten but not today.

At Foolsfitness Chocolate’s kung-fu is weak, and no match for our Bike-fu.- Alan

Learning to Fly

2010-06-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

Many guys must have been called crazy as they tried to strap canvas to wood planks in a quest to fulfill their vision of flight. Many also failed. Even one of the famous Wright brothers in the end lost his life in one of his own planes.

I recently saw the new “Alice in Wonderland” movie and one of the things hit me. Both her father and the Mad Hatter both pointed out that essentially crazy people are the only ones who really get any big things done. Maybe a “sane” person would have given up on the whole light bulb idea after maybe a hundred tries, never mind over a thousand.

Vision. Obsession? Insanity? I love G. K. Chesterton’s quote, “Angel’s can fly because they take themselves lightly.” There does seem something poetic, even a romantic lure about what seems to be insanity. That drive is important, crucial.

I don’t know what has gotten into me about bicycles but if you ever get to see the movie, “The World’s Fastest Indian” maybe you can understand that odd drive a bit more. It’s doesn’t even matter how fast I ride my bicycle… but for some reason I’ve just got to ride it with passion.

So now I have this nearly functional 10 speed road bike aka, “SHADE” originally built in October of 1983. I have $28.50 from doing a yard sale to try to raise the bicycle repair fee fund. But the question is when ever I can get it or the Green lady fixed so I can ride a road bike what will I actually do?

How do I teach it… and myself to learn how to fly? First of all two things primarily make you go faster on a road bike. One, a lighter road bike (Well it’s about as light as a small tank but it is what I got and what I can afford, but I did strip off all the reflectors and kickstand to do my part) Then there is the lighter me… (still working on that but I can proudly say lighter than last year!) And of course, light in the head, check!

Then there is the idea of more power… Back to the Wright brothers. When they wanted a powerful yet light engine for their plane and they couldn’t find anyone who could make one… so you know what they did? Yup, these crazy bicycle guys made an engine for themselves, in fact one that had more horse power than they estimated while building it. Well, last big ride for me was 23 miles on rail trails on dirt and small gravel so I’m building my engine!

There is a third thing that has to do with aerodynamics but I find that a just a real drag to talk about.

Anyways these guys also needed a place to do their tests with the gliders, kites, and planes. They found a great beach area with good winds. The poet in me kept asking myself, “Where do I learn how to fly on a bicycle?” then it hit me. There is a perfect strip of level road in a line that goes parallel to the local airport complete with wide breakdown lanes to ride in. I will be peddling faster learning to fly on my road bicycle as those planes leave the ground right close by! How’s that for some visual motivation?!

At Foolsfitness we are requesting permission for take-off…Alan

tHe SeCrEt CaVe

2010-06-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

Is it a Hobbit Hole or a Troll Cave?! Yesterday I did 23 miles on My “Boba” bicycle on rail trails in Derry, NH. This picture is of a tunnel that goes under the main road above it. I’m proud of the ride, but I did need several rest breaks. My training for road racing continues the best that I can… until I actually have a functional 10 speed road bike.

Did you ever feel that as hard as you try you just can’t seem to get it right? This last week I ate way too much and the menu was not healthy. Who can I blame? Why do I do it? This is so simple and yet so complex. I even have a motto pledge for Foolsfitness you can read on the right column that breaks it all down. In even a more simple form… eat sanely and move. Why is that so difficult? I seem to make things way more complex than they need to be and I don’t know why.

It’s so easy to give in to the compromises. One justification here and then another. Imagine just a 20 ounce cola a day, each day for a year… Such a little thing? The caloric equivalent of 26 pounds! Sure I’ll take that second helping, yeah ok, just a little more of that there… Just another donut, all right- one more slice of pizza.

Last year I got a single gear bike I named Blue. I found her super reliable but needed more gears for hills. So this spring I got My Raleigh 7-speed Venture, “Boba”, suitable for all of my basic riding. (so first quick and easy mistake??? Should have saved for this one first? Error: Looked for the quick fix first that didn‘t really address my real needs, ended up spending more in the end…. Sounds like a few candy bars I‘ve eaten?)

I have a new goal recently to start informally racing road bikes, which in itself I think is a grand idea…All I need is a road bike. Simple!!! Yet I got an old 10 speed that I hoped to fix up but it’s going to be a tough (if not frankly impossible) project. So I get it in my head for *ANOTHER* cheap 10 speed at another yard sale, yet I cut corners again. AGAIN with the quick and easy fixes… I made the exact same mistake twice with compromises, cutting corners, and going for short cuts.

My new road bike I’ve named “Shade” needs I think a bit less work than the other, “Green Lady”, to have the bike shop guys true the rear wheel, adjust the brakes, and tighten a brake grip on Shade I‘m not sure yet. I just sold ole Blue for $35 which I intended toward tune up fees for Shade…but needed to divert those funds to help out a friend.

I wonder if I’m still falling for the general trap… the quick and “easy“, cheap, and cutting corners thinking. In the fitness journey it is simple, but gimmicks and quick fixes aren’t the path. I think I still need to work on investing in the future properly. It seems like these two bicycle mistakes are just extensions of my old philosophy thinking toward food too. Oh, look! I think I’ll get a candy bar. Did I pay attention to how much food I just ate in that last meal, and when I ate last? Just what exactly was my intention in my actions and how on Earth did *that* just work toward it?!

This is simple. Eat sanely and move. Yet it falls apart with shortcut or compromise thinking. It doesn’t work with impulse. It isn’t about a trick. There are no tricks. It works when you stay in the simple direction of where you want to be. The solution almost sounds too simple, it’s not adventurous or sexy at all. Even seems a bit dull doesn’t it?

Maybe we even make it way more complex than it needs to be at times too? Fine… Eat sanely and move, and also have a nice PEZ dispenser with you at all times loaded with one roll of PEZ candy per day. (a roll of PEZ isn’t even 50 calories) plus PEZ containers are cool.

Maybe “The Secret” is that the next quick fix, compromise, exception, excuse, or broken 10-speed… all get nowhere fast.

At Foolsfitness we always fall for the quarter behind the ear trick!- Alan

Volleyball Finals the Winner is

2010-05-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

This last Tuesday was the end of my V-ball league for the season and I wasn’t going out quietly! My team came out strong. We played intensely winning the first four out of five games. I had thought we were unstoppable. My serve was strong and I when I played center I had made some incredible saves. Over this season I had gotten much more fit.

Then it happened. We started loosing! The games were tight but we lost the next four games in a row!!! My team had played so hard that we were loosing steam fast… then loosing team cohesion, not setting the ball up for spikes properly and not backing each other up right. The score had slipped to a 5-5 tie of games won and lost.

I looked at the time and we had two more games before the night was out. We gathered as a team and reminded each other that we were in it together. I even gave a couple of tips to a fellow player to get her serves to hum with more power. The next game the other team got out to a quick lead and two of our normally great servers had bad shots. As I got to serve someone said, “It’s up to you now.” No pressure huh?! When I’m “on” I can place the ball right in the center or corners. 1-2-3 I was able to start building our points up… then bringing up our score to even and another to get us ahead. I had burned the candle at both ends all night and after that serve run I was literally like I had jumped into the water, but with sweat. Yet it was enough even as I lost the next serve, my team had rallied and the others shook off that demoralized feeling and gained a second wind (or third at that point). We rolled over the other team to bring it up to a six games to five score.

Yet there was one last game. We could go away with a season ending win (7-6) or a tie (6-6). Everyone felt the superhuman energy of this night… Neither team was going to yield. It was a game that had to be won. Something just swept over me. Normally I play for fun, but this game… the end of the season was important. There is no prize or trophy or anything but everyone wanted to go out on top.

I got ripped. I was not going to loose… well, I wouldn’t settle for a six games to six tie. I worked too hard for this. As I stepped up to serve I put the other teams players off balance, on the floor on their knees trying to dig the ball up from shots at their feet. That ball had been infused by my energy, I even joked about unleashing the Dark Side of the Force on that ball. I got us to two points from a win… then…

Before I tell the end of the story I want to make it clear that I played my heart out… BUT so did every other player. While I had some powerful serving runs I did not win (or have loss of) games by myself. Win or loose we had all played at 100 percent. Yet after all this, my first season back in a adult volleyball league since my college days if I had any will in the matter I would win. I earned this, and I wanted it baaaaad.

I know I have you on this precipice, on the edge of your seat and then I tease you with how it ended… At this point I could be cruel and say, well read my next post… after all this one is in fact getting a bit long…

But I won’t do that to you. That last game we fought, and the other team was not about to give away any win. It was to be EARNED from either side. The nights final tally we took 7 games and lost 5. I can’t remember how much I glowed after that, or the last time I had been that sopping wet from sweat. Moreover the next day I was shocked, I wasn’t painfully sore in agony at all, but just stiff sore. There’s some muscle sneaking in this here body!

To top it off I got another award for my blog (this one from Deb Willbefree) Thanks so much. I appreciate people reading my blog and commenting, and I’m thrilled to know that folks enjoy it enough to give me honors. I’m horrible about following the directions to awards but I do like them. Yet even more than awards I love the comments. Sometimes it’s a real tough fight and it’s always great to be reminded that we are in this together… your support, and hopefully in return I offer a bit of encouragement somehow myself to you in writing my adventures to share in the blog. Knowing we have got each other’s back in the fight to health is the best part.

I thought about that old saying, “It not whether you win or loose, it’s how you play the game.” at Foolsfitness it’s how you play the game of course. But do play with passion to win.- Alan

Part III Glorious Victory!

2010-05-24T09:55:00.001-07:00

Lost! No, not exactly… but I was in a place I did not know and at one point as you can see it got pretty thick with woods. We had searched the net and found an old converted railroad line that was now a bicycle and walking path going from Windham to Salem NH and this was planned as our alternate ride as the day before had been a wash out. (If you haven't read parts I and II you may wish to scroll down under this post)

According to lore, in the 1870’s the biggest single rail line in America was here. What an incredible view huh?!

There was a point in the ride when neither of us spoke, it was pure and deep wonderful silence without any buzz of today. The only sound was the sound of a gentle wind caressing your face and singing softly in the trees. It was such a peace that washed over my heart. After that it was like you could almost hear the quiet whispers of a time long past, a very distant steam chug of a time when things were at the right speed.

As this journey was about to wind down it was amazing. A year or so ago I had not imagination of this. The physical ride was NOTHING… I could have traveled twice the distance, plus. I guess as fitness goes it really is a mental fight. It was such a triumph… a goal worked hard for and achieved. Maybe even over achieved. I can’t help but think about all the mental buzz around the event and in my head that led up to this. That was the real fight.

I even finished off the ride with some healthy eating choices at a wonderful little place right next to the bike path. I went for a veggie wrap, frozen yogurt, and non-sweetened ice tea. I even passed on the bag of chips that came with it.

I laughed as I drove home very early on that next morning… you see, the radio played a song that said, “The Wheel in the Sky Keeps on Turning!” over and over. I have no clue what the song was about because it was just those few words that echoed wonderfully in my mind. You see, my bicycle somehow had let this 300 pound plus guy fly!

SO WHAT”S NEXT? I’m thinking a year from now I’m considering bicycle racing. I’m starting to try to get a vintage steel frame 10 speed in good working order. I plan to take a picture of it and stick it on my fridge door to remind me where I want to go next and also where I don’t want to go anymore. Oh, I will not have a chance at any tour de’ France style riding… but that isn’t what it’s about. It’s about my own battle. I will be riding against, and also “for” myself. I would likely be in the back of any pack racing (the guy doing more huffing and puffing than the big bad wolf) but the first time I enter a race, I will already have won.

A few days back I did a 20 mile plus ride with my “Boba” bicycle and yesterday a 12.5 mile ride with minimal stops… I’ve also see the scales bow before my efforts to 317.75... The work is paying off. About a month ago I was flirting with 13 more pounds. My weight shifts up and down a lot but I can be certain of at least a 7 pound or so drop in the range.

Maybe this time next year you will see a pic of me on an old vintage racer… riding a touch faster, a wee bit further, and without so many stops, and of course with a little less baggage.

Act on your dreams my friends.- Alan

Part II Rack Em Up

2010-05-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

(Scroll down to the previous post if you haven’t read Part I)

It was 4:15 in the morning… wait, let me sound more detective like… it was 0400 hours and the rain came down hard, the kind of rain that washes the scum off the streets. My name is Alan, I’m Fools Fitness… I don’t have a badge. But I’d like a Pony Express Badge… A nice tin badge that gleams in the sun.

I awoke from a light sleep with a crash. Being in a house you are not always in I guess you need to expect sounds you don’t expect. (wait… if you expect the unexpected is it really… oh never mind) Yet I had a gut feeling what that crash was that was confirmed moments later. Two bright flashes through the curtains then more crashing. Lightning my friends, lightning. Maybe at this point I should mention I ride a STEEL frame Raleigh bicycle. I figured the storms would pass as it was still so early in the morning the sun hadn’t arose.

This was my friend Kate’s first bicycle marathon too. In fact she had invested in a bicycle rack that literally cost more than her own bicycle for our trip. We fought the bicycles on that medieval device that had tons of straps and tie downs, added 27 bungee cords, some more straps then looked at each other each searching for confidence in the other’s eyes that we had done this right.

We were off on the road, The weather had let up a lot, and the bicycles were locked on… or so we thought! (insert ominous music here). Then *it* happened. We are driving along this back road and she pulls this Dukes of Hazard maneuver that end up us sliding partially in a ditch. I didn’t see a deer run across us, what had happened? Her bicycle had slipped on the bicycle rack and was in breath of being dragged behind us. She had pulled over in time but the first thing I thought about was being in this dirt low shoulder after a hard rain and the car sinking hopelessly into oblivion like cruel quicksand never to be heard from again!

We shifted the bikes again and tightened straps. I added a few special knots I learned from making rosaries to be even more safely redundant. I saw the car tipping in a bad way toward the ditch… (gee, is there a way you can tip in a ditch a good way?) We got in and she just drove out like nothing.

She’s got one of those really cool GPS gadgets. It says in this neat voice “turn left ahead” and such. I imagine if I had one it would get to the point it would say, “We are hopelessly lost.” and “I told you to turn back there” or just, “I give up… find it yourself!” We found the bicycle meeting place relatively easy thanks to her. Had I done this on my own… well, lets just say I have rather no navigation sense. The only time she asked me which way to turn I sent her in the exact wrong direction.

We arrived just as another storm came too. The downpour pinned us in the car along with a concerto of rolling thunder in the distance. Fear not my fine Fool’s Fitness friends, We rode the next day… which I will share in Part III, but not this day. I would not be deprived of my ride, and “taking the bikes for a ride” did not constitute a technically driving around with them on the back of a car for me! I brought the money I had raised in to the group and my eyes were assaulted by more spandex than a superhero convention. There must have been near a hundred bicyclists there.

Stories were shared about where they were as lightning had struck or how they got a free shower as a car sprayed them with about 50 gallons of water from the small streams on the side of the road. Gee, they seemed rather dry now? Had they changed? Or was this like those fishermen who eventually had a fish on their line the size of Moby Dick?

Well, the good part is I came. I WAS doing this, maybe a day late but I showed up for life in my fitness journey. They had a wonderful BBQ, grilling under cover outside and bring it into the barn to enjoy. This time I did carb load, or any other load in food. I tried Goat Cheese and some kind of fruit jelly on multigrain crackers. That jelly I can’t pronounce, spell, or even remember other than it was good and a bit tart.

I had raised enough money (over goal even) to get some drawing raffle tickets. I actually ended up winning a $25 dollar gift certificate to a book store. A few days later I had got a book on bicycling, one on horses for my boss, and another on graphic novel art book for my work… all on sale and a little under so I could share some of the money with another Foolsfitness Member who drove us down to the place.

Ok we are getting a really long post here so… PART III coming soon with the Actual bicycle ride.

And Remember that at Foolsfitness reading is a workout.- Alan

Part I: Bike Marathon The Journey Begins

2010-05-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

I trained for this bike ride for over a month. Yet that morning I had so many nerves on edge I couldn’t even think about eating breakfast. I removed the wheel off my Raliegh Venture and tossed it in the back of my car with the back seat down. Then I needed the pannier bags, the water bottles, somewhere was the multi-tool, speedometer… funny little gloves and tiny helmet mirror… pipe tobacco, all… check. Wait… something’s missing? Where are my shoes! And I have a hole in my sock!

I wonder if owning a bicycle is like having a small child? Did you ever see those people with all the baby gear? They have strollers with all sorts of bottles and baby tools… anyhue, by the time I finished I had some trouble actually getting in my little car. The handlebar was wanting to snuggle next to my head and my overnight bag kept fighting with the fifth gear of the gear stick of my car.

(Insert deep announcer voice) It is an epic story of the ages. A story of high adventure… One mans determination against all odds to save the fate of the universe itself… ok, my 1st bike-a-thon wasn’t THAT dramatic but I had to get that kind of writing out of the way.

First of all let me get this exciting information out. I had raised about $160 for the animals, as well as Other money not in that total from corporate sponsors for gas money, food, water, and tolls. I’d like to thank Genesis Behavioral Health, Dance on Studios, Happy Jacks Pipe shop, as well as all the people who donated to the animal fund.

I got a great e-mail about where some of the funds are going… I quote:

“The Gilmour Fund will be making a special, one-time grant to enable Zoo New England to provide staff support to the effort to rescue marine wildlife impacted by the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. This effort is currently being coordinated by the Audubon Aquarium of the Americas, Louisiana Marine Mammal and Sea Turtle Rescue Program, NOAA, Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries and the U.S. Coast Guard.”

Anyways, I was now on my epic journey, on the road. I don’t city highway drive much at all. Wow, people go like 90 miles an hour on the highway… scaring the willies out of me… (what exactly are willies anyway?) yet my determination was not shaken my friends!!! As those speed demons plans had failed they tried a new tactic, everyone from all around somehow planned in some mass conspiracy to be on the highway at once to keep me from my destination. I actually stopped on the highway! Somehow in my mind I didn’t think it was even possible to stop on a highway. Yes, I’m from a small town. (Even that is getting bigger all the time… I rate my town by numbers of stoplights and they keep on coming growing like unruly weeds. Then they spawned roundabouts or rotaries… which are like little carousels for cars to play on. Wow I really digressed here didn’t I? )

I arrived at a Fools Fitness Fine Friend’s home near the bike-a-thon after hours on the road and one rest stop to ease my nerves. I didn’t really know what to eat to prepare for a marathon, although in the past I had heard rumors that there was lots of spaghetti involved. At that point I was winding down from the terrors of the trip down and honestly don’t even remember what we ate, for you folks who like to know that information, although I remember it wasn’t spaghetti…

STAY TUNED FOR PART II Rack Em Up

At Foolsfitness we have a motto for bicycling… the more gear the better.- Alan

The Irish Lady

2010-05-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

What you see before you is a Raleigh Grand Prix GT MK V made (if I did my serial number search correctly) in Oct 1974 in Ireland. And, yes, she is currently warming herself in the peace in quiet of my art studio.

Two commenters in my last post actually led me to her. One had said to check Gregslist and another said another would “just be around the corner”. Ironically it wasn’t just around the corner but actually two streets up that a gentleman sells bicycles out of his garage as a hobby.

I had my eyes set on another Raleigh in his yard when I came and looked about. I had tried running that one through the gears and it fought me, him, and another guy looking at bikes. Frankly the other was a bit out of my price range but I get focused on something and have a hard time letting it go. That one had fancy stirrups that called to me. But it was a horrible, ugly, powder blue.

If I’m going to start road riding next year I need a road bike. (no offense to my dear “Boba” comfort bike be he isn’t suited to the racetrack, he‘s a daily rider meant for cargo delivery) But I can’t get “any” road bike. First I can’t afford the newer carbon fiber racers. Second they frankly wouldn’t hold my weight anyway. Finally third I want a bike that has a soul, a style, a uniqueness.

Look at those fittings in the picture. This wasn’t a bicycle that was made from cut tubes and shamelessly welded together… “to exacting specifications in China” as my other one claims to be. Nothing against my daily rider, it’s rugged and gets a lot of miles. But look close… the tubes were placed into fittings that even were scalloped and scrolled. It is a piece of art.

As you can see if you click on the very top picture she is in need of much work. One bracket on her seat is out, the cables covers are rotten, cables rusted and frayed. Those old Raleigh racing whitewall tires have the wrinkles of many years of dry rot. The front derailleur is rusted frozen. The front forks are covered in rust. Wildly there is still air pressure in those ancient tires… or they have just petrified? Yet the wheels are true and straight. I think, just maybe with some work, a lot of work, she will fly again.

Maybe that’s part of what this is all about. I’m going to need a lot of work to “fly again” too. Maybe we both can do it together. Maybe the other “shiny” two ones were in fact too easy… I need to remind myself that this fitness journey is about commitment and work. Was the “Green Lady” worth $35 I asked my local bike shop guy… I don’t think I really needed an answer from him as I really know the dream is worth much more than that.

I think there was another lesson for me in this too. While I had looked at the more fancy and shiny one and even asked the man if he had others and he said no… she was there all along. So quiet, right behind me in his garage. The guy even dismissed it saying that it was destined in his eyes just for parts. I have thought of myself so many times as a hopeless case. I have struggled with weight for so long. Yet the answer I was seeking was right under my eyes even as I searched for an old bike.

Maybe that answer we are seeking together is right there in front of us too, we just need to keep searching and not give up! I am nervous that I’m now trying to bring her back from the brink of death… but really that’s what I’m trying to do with me too. I think we can understand each other the Green Lady and I. I think my own wheels are true and straight too.

COMING NEXT!!! A three part series of the adventures of my very first Bicycle Marathon of last weekend complete with some great pictures!!!

Dare to make your dreams reality at Fools Fitness!- Alan

A Dime Store Window

2010-05-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

What is it like to have a dream? Perhaps when you were young you looked into a store window and saw that one amazing toy, that the mere sight of it filled you with such joy you could not find words to express. Our hopes and dreams ( and faith of course) drive us and build us to look to a tomorrow.

For the last three weeks I have walked by a antique shop and seen such a thing. There she was smiling at me. I saw an old 70’s vintage Raleigh steel frame ten speed. If you have read my blog you may recall I have attended watching a bicycling race at the local NASCAR track and also have had the pleasure of running my cruiser style mountain hybrid Raleigh bicycle even on the track once.

Back to the dream. Last year I had the dream to loose weigh and become more healthy. I can proudly exclaim I hit the 320 mark which is ten pounds less than last month and about 23 pounds less than the start of my blog a year ago. I am trying to take that dream and work hard making it into reality.

Now for reality. I have far to go, but first another dream to fuel the fire with a “what if” question… What if I got that steel framed bicycle and restored it to working order over the fall and winter as I continue to restore my own body to a more working order as well. That bicycle could take me INTO the race not just sitting on the sidelines with some hard work in a year.

I heard it’s siren song and how she called to me over the last three weeks. I would prove to that bicycle how I loved her and was worthy as I came home this last weekend from my bicycle marathon, slaying that preverbal dragon for her! She winked at me last week inside that window with her English Raleigh emblem all enameled glowing at me… I think I had caught her eye as well.

Yet she also carried on her an earring that claimed she was in her debtors prison for one hundred dollars. I dug deep in my heart to find some way to offer a acceptable bounty for her freedom from that cruel prison. I arrived home early Monday morning from the bike-a-thon driving by the shop… in a couple more weeks I would have the gold to free her some way, some how…

As you see in the picture I crafted as an Ode to her, now she is but a ghost who will haunt me tugging at my heart strings afar in some unknown location… my lovely old race bike was sold on Saturday not to me but another. I morn her and my heart is defeated and crushed, my dreams smashed into oblivion on the rocks of the shores of reality. Yet in that love I hope she is happy and free to fly again with another. Still… Still my friends I had wished it was with me. (the above sadly is true. The bicycle is gone…)

***(I am currently working on writing up my adventures… and terrors at my very first bike marathon last weekend… please bear with me, it will take a bit of time to do it writing justice and will end up being multiple parts)***

At Foolsfitness somehow we have experienced great adventures, triumphs, terrors, sadness, and heartbreak all in the span of a week…- Alan

Getting Ready NASCAR Style!

2010-05-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

In a day I’m going to be on the road headed to the big bike-a-thon event, and I’m going NASCAR STYLE BABY!!! I’ll tell you about my logo craze but first…

As a last bit of training I jumped on a bicycle safety event at the local NASCAR track where you could actually take your bicycle on the track. Let me tell you it was more dangerous than any stock car race I’ve seen. I work as a bicycle currier but I don’t deal with that level of danger in my normal mail routes. After three laps I got out while I was in one piece.

Why the danger? Well imagine throwing about 200 children all hopped up on soda on to a NASCAR track. The older ones really think how they are on a race car track and want to book it for all it’s worth. Then there is the group that’s just so excited that they zigzag across the track rather than follow a normal line. If you can avoid those collisions then there is the clueless group that end up going the *wrong* way on the track. Can it get worse… oh yes. See there are the 3 year olds who just are learning to ride and are doomed by the Gods of crash and skinned knees. Lastly you have the parents of said children trying to walk with them until they get distracted talking to their friends who also have children in the event… those gals just stroll along oblivious to all, around the track.

I’ve used the Bike-a-thon event as an excuse to “carb load”… after all, any excuse to eat two pizzas in the last couple of days will work right?

Back to my NASCAR Style. I had an idea while I was at the track. I have a decent expense for travel in gas and tolls, plus snacks and spring water. So I am actually putting on panels on my rear panniers with company logo sponsorships! Ahem… I’d like to thank all my sponsors on and off line who supported the Zoo New England Gilmour ride (Over 100 dollars raised now!!!)

AND I’d like to thank my corporate sponsors who are taking care of the Fools Fitness Team Raleigh operation costs… Genesis Behavioral Health, Dance On dance apparel and more , as well as Happy Jack’s Pipe and Tobacco Shop. So… how’s that for wild? Supported by someone who sells two-twos! I’ve even got logos on my helmet and a logo shirt from a sponsor.

Hey does this mean Fools Fitness Team is now “Pro”?

Bicycle Scavenger Challenge!

2010-05-03T18:09:00.002-07:00

I have a game we can play, encouraging you to get your bicycle out . My challenge is for you to take a picture of your bike (and you?) next to an “old car“. In future posts I may challenge you to take pictures next to other things. Please encourage me to do the same. Make some suggestions for me to “find” something I can take a picture of my bicycle with too in an ongoing scavenger hunt!

Leave a comment with ideas and a link to your own blog posts of your own adventure picture. If the game takes off, I may link your blogs in my posts and leave my own current challenge in the right column of my blog. Try to keep the challenges reasonably generic. Not all of us can get a picture of our bike next to the Grand Canyon or Mayan Pyramids. (Well, with photoshop, but that‘s cheating!!!)

SO where do you want to see my “Boba” bicycle next? With a statue, next to an exit sign, by the water, Next to an elephant, in front of a church???

I’m still trying to build up my endurance to ride the bike-a-thon I’m riding for this coming Saturday. If you’d like to make a donation on-line to help out animal projects through Zoo New England please go here:

http://www.zoonewengland.org/foolsfitness

I’d like to thank my supporters so far… and also to share some great news. “off line” I’ve been able to raise over $60 dollars so far, and on-line I’ve got a current $30 in donations. I’d appreciate your support. That being said this will be the last time I “beg” for donations for the event. There are many wonderful causes that people can support. I think it’s important to try to be a positive influence in the world and naturally there are many other great things you can participate in as well. So, no pressure.

Back to my “training”. I’ve rode over the weekend a casual ride around the State Capital of New Hampshire (in the U.S.A.) and got the two pictures… the Liberty Bell is a replica. That famous crack in the bell is actually *painted* on this one. Somehow a faux crack in this replica seems a bit cheesy to me. The picture in the right column is next to a hot rod bucket Model T.

The ride this weekend was riding about Concord from comic book store to book store, and a little random roaming. I always forget to hook up my speedometer so I have to guesstimate the ride at 3 miles or so? I also learned to carry extra water as I ran out and had to beg some nice lady washing her car at her home for some water from the hose to refill my bottle and to bring my tools too as my front fender got loose. Ride and learn!

Don’t forget next week I hopefully will be posting a multi-part series with pictures of the Zoo New England Gilmour Fund bicycle event. I’m getting *really* nervous… I don’t know if I can ride the whole thing and I’ve never tried something like this. But I guess the key here is I’m going to try! If a guy like me at 330 pounds can pedal, maybe you can too. Remember we are in this fitness thing together and we are riding for our lives… fighting off Diabetes, keeping our hearts strong, and being able to breathe easier. If you can’t ride, walk. If you’re in a place that walking is difficult, just make a choice to downsize to a slightly smaller portion in your next meal and build on that success.

I’ve been thinking that while I make lots of mistakes in poor eating choices, and I kick myself for not being perfect, I’m still trying to do something. Healthy choices add up too! I may never be a Mr. Universe, but I can try to be a slightly more fit Alan.

At Foolsfitness we wonder when this place ended up being a bicycling blog… - Alan

Levitating Children

2010-04-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

I couldn’t help but take a picture of this odd sign in a bathroom. Why is that child floating in levitation over the table? Dark Magic my friends. (LOOK CLOSE! THAT KID IS FLOATING IN THE AIR!!!) Moreover what’s with “Baby Changing Stations” anyway? I think people should keep the babies they have and not trade them. My mind spins so odd as thoughts like these drift in somehow.

In an average day my mind tends to wonder a bit. Unfortunately usually so does my focus on eating well and in the proper amounts. There is this ice cream shop five miles out of town that has decided to do dollar cone days not only every Tuesday this summer… but now *every* day!!! I now have a sweet new mistress.

I also have an opportunity. That ice cream shop is five miles out of town and the vast majority of it is going up hill. I’m thinking if I want one of those dollar cones maybe I should ride the bicycle. I’m not even sure if I could make it there without walking half the way up those hills. Perhaps just maybe after 4 hills in I’d rethink my choices, and if I didn’t I would still come out the right way as far more than a small cone of calories would be burned. Gee, maybe that should be my summers fitness plan… ride that loop for ice cream every day. It’s a ten mile loop. Returning would almost always be coasting. By the time I would get there I’d be too tired for a cone anyway? I haven’t attempted it on bike yet… those hills are just daunting.

I have a smaller version of this now. I go for a walk for a fountain diet soda to the convenience store down the street. In the end my light workout usually is a good way to burn a few calories. Except for tonight where somehow I ended up with a donut and cinnamon roll too.

I am trying a few bike rides to get ready for the upcoming bike-a-thon. I figured out how to use the quick release on my front tires brake cable and take off the front wheel to fit it in my car… so I can get it to the biking event on May 8th. I’m riding with someone else too who I’ve adopted into the Foolsfitness team. She’s even guest posted way back. I can’t wait to get pictures… I think it will end up being a multi part series posts. This is exciting stuff. I think it might be her first Bike-a-thon too.

I’ve got a few more trips planned. The First Sat in May is “free comic book day” where comic book stores usually will give a way a comic to people just for showing up. I use to be a huge X-men (Gambit), Batman, and Green Hornet Fan. There is also a couple of neighborhood bicycle safety events I could attend. I’ve also been eying out a new air pump, but I hate spending money sometimes. It’s weird to justify the air pump. I could just pay the 75 cents or a dollar for the local petro station air pump a lot of times before paying for the cost of that foot pump. I think my mind spins sort of odd. I waste so much energy on weird thoughts.

And Remember that Foolsfitness has a center for weird thinking near you!- Alan

You Won’t Believe This! But it’s TRUE!!!

2010-04-19T05:07:00.000-07:00

What’s Happened in the last week you may not believe… If you’ve ever seen the movie “Ferris Beuler’s Day Off” While my own life is not to the extent of his, I certainly have a bit of it and the level is increasing.

I have the blessing of waking up on a day and have an adventure pan out for me that was unplanned so many times. Sometimes I don’t know what each day will bring. I think it’s a spiritual gift from God. In the past I HAVE somehow ended up in a parade, gone to a rock concert, or even made the choice to go on a mission trip to Belize within seconds when I had woken up those mornings not having any idea what adventure was awaiting for me.

Even more adventures have happened within this last week!!! I’ll mention them of course, but first understand All of them happened as a day unfolded… not all in one day, like Ferris, yet somehow. Perhaps it’s a lesson of awareness and being open to the Spirit of God moving you… But while I do not hide my faith I’d rather not Bible thump and perhaps push people away so just let me continue with the story…

I think it’s a lesson to live life as an adventure and not give into the fear. Maybe food is perceived to be “safe”, yet it seems to rob some of us in the end with ills and short lives. Being massively overweight is a prison. It limits your ability to live life Ok, all right no more lesson pondering… what did I do this last week:

*I GOT KNIGHTED!!! That right, Perhaps I should refer to myself in third person character as Sir Foolsfitness now? Well Sir Alan is a First Degree Knight of the Knights of Columbus. Yesterday I was asked… I knew it was right within moments… For my love of the Rosary just connects me with them. So now I am part of the Order. (I feel so Jedi…)

*I WAS ON A NASCAR TRACK! Not in the bleachers, but standing ON THE TRACK and ON (in, on top of) the pit row at New Hampshire Motor Speedway!!! Right next to race officials scoring and talking with them as the held the *first* NHCC (New Hampshire Cycling Club) at the track for this year.

*I GOT an audience with the *CARDINAL* in Boston Massachusetts (U.S.A.) as they were helping him adorn his vestments for Holy Mass, and he blessed my Rosary. Not to harp on the Rosary but it’s an antique and it prays well and powerfully… I have no proof but I wonder sometimes if it is a relic. It was given to me by my sponsor when I joined the Roman Catholic Church way back when.

*I GOT skinner!!! Last week I recorded at my work a weight of about 324... That’s somehow about 6 pounds drop within a week or so!!!

*PRISON BREAK! Back to the prison of being over three hundred pounds… I still have to look at a 2xl shirt and debate slightly if it will fit (but it’s a marked improvement over the 3 and 4XL’s of before!) I still can’t look at “normal” clothes. Watching that bicycle race was all I could do. There was *NO* way I could pedal that hard for that long. Moreover I’d literally snap one of those carbon fiber bikes with my sheer mass. This is a prison. I am still in prison and it may be a time for a prison break!

I’ve got a gut feeling that as that gut goes down the adventure will go up.

At Foolsfitness we say it may be time to plan our escape from the prison, and try to never see that Warden of Fat and his Candy pushing Guards again. Say good bye to your super XL sized prison cells of sloth.
- Sir Alan Jones, Knights of Columbus, First Order.

I Got Grounded

2010-04-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

I sadly look outside and want to go play… but I can’t. I’m grounded. At least today I’m trying to ground myself as lately my activity level has been through the roof and I really think a down day to let the body repair might be for the best. I’ve got a bicycle ride in the back of my mind to do but I’m laying low.

I think I mentioned the 13 mile bicycle ride on last Sunday. In the last week I also got to go exploring some old railroad tracks that had been converted to a walking path too. The “Northern Rail Trail” I scouted out with a friend as I wanted to check it out to judge if it was worth getting the bicycle over to it. (the pictures are of the general store front and depot. That caboose had been converted to a camper.)

We stopped a couple of times at various points, saw a wild turkey and some turkey vultures. The last point we stopped it was called “Potters Place” and it was an old train depot and general store that had been converted to a historical society museum. It was the custom in some areas back in the old days to have the post office within the country store. Sadly visiting the place off peak season it was closed and all we could do is peak in all the windows. A form of that post office was run until 1988.

In the late 1800’s the rail line had a head on crash of two locomotives, one freight and the other passenger. According to the paper, 3 or 4 people died, the locomotives were demolished, and a few more folk were hurt.

Speaking of hurt…An update on George from my last post who got hurt in a game last week. He can walk but had to take a couple of days off work and there is no chance he can play for the rest of the season as he did some kind of heel damage to himself. It was sad. He came last night to say goodbye and sat on the sidelines and heckled us good naturedly. He was in pain to really want to play as well as the foot pain.

Another wild volleyball game last night. The league is loosing players as the season progresses and I think some of them are burning out leaving early. Somehow I got traded to a team after my own lost a couple games in a row. I knew I blew a few points working as center in a row (it’s my weakest area… I serve well.) So I was feeling pretty low. Then I noticed that my old team had a eight point loosing streak without me on it!!! Then being on the new team we won the game against my old team. After that I couldn’t help but yell, “Are you rethinking the idea of trading me now!?” Ok, it was a bit unsportsmanlike but I was kind of emotionally hurt being traded off.

In the last week or so my diet has been hampered with some less than calorically miser like choices in snackage. I’ve been experimenting with making wraps as sandwiches, they rock and I think with tinkering I can make some decently filling and calorically prudent fare. Then there was the KFC, the tale of two cities. One a stop on the bicycle just out front to mock them taking a picture of the sign with Boba. However the next day some choices inside KFC that I can’t say I’m comfortable with.

A check of my weight is down 4 pounds! Apparently KFC was merciful. Lets see if I can stay downward of 330 and finally break that 300 into the 2’s… a goal that has for a long time alluded me.

AT Foolsfitness it’s time to get a workout in a bit of pleasure reading with some cheesy novels. Hey, is reading scary books is an aerobic workout? I mean your heart gets pumping and all right?- Alan

Mental Olympics

2010-04-12T16:41:00.001-07:00

If there were such a thing as Mental Olympics I would get a gold metal in “Pondering and Planning”. Following through with them on the other hand, I wouldn’t make it on the team. I have spent so much time wondering why I would logically choose to overeat. Why on Earth would I engage in an endeavor that would take me to an early demise via Diabetes or Heart Attack? Why on Earth would I do something to my body that leaves it in such shambles that I could not fully function in life to run and jump and play and live… I still struggle with the answer.

Is it an honest addiction to food or it’s psychological comforts of pseudo safety? Is it playing it safe to live just outside normal life enough to not have to fully try and ultimately have a chance to fail? Yet in the logic it will if course unchecked lead to failure never the less. Perhaps in the modern venacular… WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?!

The current picture was in front of a KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken). I couldn’t help but take the shot next to it!!! Their new sandwich called the Double Down has an advertising campaign around being so meaty that there is no room for the bun. (32 grams of fat and 540 calories! According to the LA Times) There will be no room for my buns in their booths (or my bicycle) if I ate those unchecked!!!

So the positives: current bicycle ride on Sunday, over 13 miles. Didn’t go in to KFC.

The negatives: Got home and still ate too much in other stuff… then visited KFC today, didn’t get the Double Down but more calories in other tasty goodies.

So in the end likely negated any caloric deficit in exercise with extra food, plus. The answer is beyond logic and reason. I’ve got so much exercise down I’m even over exercising but I haven’t lassoed and hog tied the terrible hunger monster. Why? WHY? It makes no sense. It’s beyond any rational sense to do so. Somehow I need to get beyond sense to understand the pull, drop the attachment to the food insanity or die in madness.

At least the fight goes on. I obviously haven’t given up. I fought head winds of 10-15 miles an hour riding my bicycle out Sunday. So strong in fact that when I stopped for a break the wind lifted my bicycle off the kick stand. My legs burned with lactic acid and tailbone with agony… then of course it being Sunday I went to evening Mass at church and God had a bit of a chuckle… you see in the Roman Catholic Church the Mass is filled with getting up, sitting down and kneeling. Or in my case wobbling, straining, and silently groaning in pain.

So why do you guys and gals over eat? I can’t make sense out of it obviously. Maybe it’s not meant to make logical sense about in the end and just needs some flat out choice that I need to get lip piercings for hoops and padlock my mouth shut, then a cattle prod to zap myself when I get within one foot of the kitchen area. How to get past this hurtle confounds me. I wonder if it’s some perceived path of least resistance and result of some basic pain avoidance and pleasure seeking? See my gold metal training in thought coming forth again?! Maybe if I can really focus on the endgame that it really is a choice between living more fully longer or living quickly and shortly.

At Foolsfitness our heads hurt. So do our tails.- Alan

The Extreme Sport of Life

2010-04-08T22:11:00.000-07:00

The first rays of the new day washed over the landscape and filled the cracks between my blinds. This was the day when I turned the bicycle training up a notch. My most ambitious ride with my new bicycle “Boba” was planned. I looked at the clock, just after five… I decided… it was really early and was going back to bed on my day off.

Take two… it was a clear late morning, the air crisp yet warming nicely… I got the bicycle downstairs and out the door a little before noon. The ride I had planned was not only ambitious in miles, but also in difficulty as it was mapped along the hilly roads near the lake. About a mile in or so I realized I forgot to attach my speedometer so I could never “officially” clock the miles of the day. Speaking of speed, two interesting speed related things happened. The first is a gut check going down a hill without using my brakes. I can not say if it was courage or temptation of fate yet I remain unscathed thus I lean to the former.

I wildly got clocked by the police radar at 15 miles an hour. The police near my home have these machines they set up in different places around town from time to time to remind people to think about how fast they are driving. I rounded a corner and saw one ahead and couldn’t resist peddling for all I was worth to see if I could get the machine to pop up a number… it started at 13 and crept to 15mph before I flew by.

I’m starting to get concerned that I may be infected by the “bicycle geek” virus. Slowly I’ve started to get a tiny mirror on my helmet, those half gloves, and multiple water bottles to choose from as well as pannier bags on order. Someone feel free to slap me if I get one of those pointy helmets and glossy synthetic body suits!!!

As seen in the picture I made it all the way to Weirs Beach (about 6 miles or so from my house one way) I had enjoyed sitting on the benches at the beach for a bit and started the ride home. (Insert ominous music) I got about a third the way home and My bike aply named “Boba” after Boba Fett is proving it’s danger to myself and everyone around it by freaky chaos. The gooseneck on the handlebars loosened up and I had to call out for help. I didn’t dar ride it when the handlebars got sloppy. This is the second time I’ve had to be “rescued” by my kind nehbor who I have before mentioned about borrowing all her cookware for my veggie eating experiments. (If you’re following along from posts before she didn’t forget me owing her the paring knife back… If this keeps up I‘m going to have to break down and buy my own kitchen utensils!!!)
Anyhue, the bicycle shop is now literally on speed dial on my cell phone. I think I need to open a running account with them… this time I left with a nifty gadget that looks like a swiss army knife but has lots of bicycle tools in it that I can tighen up the handle bars on the go, or other minor stuff… when needed. It’s ironic that the old bicycle “blue” that costs a third of the new one never gave me any grief ever while this one is so finicky.

I’ve mentioned Volleyball before. The games I play are intense. Many people wear knee pads as they end up sliding across the floor in games. I usually go home with bloody knees myself. If anyone tells you that a 300 pound plus guy can’t be active don’t you believe them!!! But the reason I mention the games is I’d like to ask prayers for a gentleman named “George” who dove for a ball and… well… he didn’t get up so well at all. The poor guy may have just really twisted his ankle or he may have done something a bit more serious. He had to be escorted off the court and ankle iced. I’ve said a prayer for you buddy! Hope your recovering well.

We do sort of play it really hard. One of my team mates actually asked him to borrow his knee pads after he got out of the game. Ouch extended… a bit cold? I couldn’t help but think of him as some old car that the team had decided to strip for parts. It wasn’t my idea honest… but I have to admit wanting to get back playing after a few minutes.

At Foolsfitness life itself is an “extreme” sport!- Alan

1st Anniversary of Foolsfitness April 1st!!! Give-A-Way!

2010-03-31T20:23:00.000-07:00

Foolsfitness launched officially 1 year ago today!!! We’ve celebrated by giving away a load of fat! We’ve celebrated by giving away a bit of that trundle and waddle in the walk. We’ve given away some of the wheezing out of breath going up stairs. We’ve celebrated by giving away some of the uncontrolled actions for a more controlled and conscious way of living life more fully.

The leader of Fools Fitness can now slowly jog a 5k, bike miles on end, and play a respectable night of competition volleyball, swim (well dog paddle) for an hour at a time, and fit into clothes that would be unfathomable all 1 year ago. Also the unfathomable, actually going for a couple week stretches without Chinese food buffets! Things big and small like tying my shoes without getting lightheaded or zipping up a flight of stairs without sounding like Darth Vader at the end. 80 something posts and about 90 people along for the adventure…And other great goals achieved!!! .

As for the April 1st fools on me… some of the weight has gone and come back… still the total in the end of the 1st year is 13 pounds lost. More fools prank is stopping and starting pipe smoking a couple of times. My just insane trying to nail down good nutrition thing.

I set lofty goals in my formal declaration of the war on reality one year ago. I will say I really haven’t hit a lot of them, but I have made some tangible success toward many and most of them that I’m very proud about.

I’m not sure if I could be accused of being a casual user of vegetables yet. On the other side I can’t remember the last time sitting down with a bag of cheese curls in front of the tv. I know last Sunday even near freezing I had the undeniable urge to get out and get some exercise… bicycling in the end about 11 miles. Few actors could say I am an athlete without cracking a smile, yet I know I can move unlike last year. I can do things I couldn’t one year ago. If I can consistently nail healthy and sane eating I have *NO* question in my mind of becoming an athlete… The joy and drive of exercise is there. Not Olympic athlete, but a bit of panther in the walk.

The April Fools on you? I give-a-way to you, absolutely nothing other than perhaps a laugh and somehow just possibly a bit of encouragement in your journey too. That might just be worth a little something? Maybe a bit of wisdom as a prank too? Next year at this date will be about one year from now, like it or not time doesn’t stop. You and I will be somewhere anyway… maybe we should try to push toward where we want to be.

So what’s next year. I’m an idealist and it appears I will always aim higher than I can reach. I seriously underestimated the mess my life had become in my years on earth.. Cleaning that mess up is going to take much more time and work. Yet without goals and direction we all will get nowhere fast. Here it goes:

1) merge both a decent caloric intake with also some decent nutritionally dense foods. *This is the keystone
2) continue exercise, next more structured.
3) becoming a personal trainer goal is not abandoned, just delayed. I’m a huge proponent of you must have a life with purpose to have a fulfilling life… Part of that purpose in me is becoming that personal trainer, to be a person who can relate to others having walked in their shoes and really understand things like just getting light headed tying those shoes when you are so heavy. I’m sure most of the athletes who have been healthy all of their lives that are personal trainers are well meaning and many are great at it, but walking in 350 pound shoes I think gives you a better understanding.
4) world domination, of course, is a given.

So my give-a-way to you is a red flag warning… Next year is coming ready or not it will be here in about 350 some odd days. Where do you want to be and what are you planning to get doing/continue to do, to get there?!?! Your give-a way is a warning or a reminder… here comes the future… again.

At Foolsfitness we take this moment to thank every person who has “followed” (I hate that term)… to all those who are in this journey with me together, for your support and comments. For your own blogs and sharing the journey together pulling me along in my low times and allowing me to share in your journey too!!! My other give-a-way of this post a heart felt Thank you. - Foolsfitness, Alan

Vultures Circle Around Me Overhead!

2010-03-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

They circled overhead waiting for me to take my last gasp of air and drop… but first, Upon checking the weather this last weekend things did not bode well for a ride with Boba Fett (My Bicycle) Moreover Monday had rain in the forecast as well and the weekend started each day near freezing.

It’s odd how I’m out of balance. The nutritional wallop per calorie of my foods have jumped yet also somehow the caloric intake. My exercise has increased yet my weight has creped up. First I nail caloric eating… then loose it, then healthy eating and exercise but way too much caloric intake, yet I need the whole package at once.

Well my new kick in Bicycling involves balance, perhaps it will transcend into my diet. But back to the Vultures. Sat I got in some casual walking window shopping but Sunday I couldn’t help that urge. I have a bike a thon to train for and I need endurance. I waited for temps to hit the mid to upper thirties and bundled up for a bicycle ride. Those of you who have read my blog for any time know I do nothing “lightly”, I have the extremes of an artist. Naturally I figured I’d just do ten miles on the bike to prove I could do it and just get that psychological hurdle out of the way.

I chose the most level direction I could from my home and started peddling. Now armed with a speedometer I thrilled myself in seeing a cruising speed between 8 to 10 miles and hour. I laughed then wheezed after thirty seconds in and wondered what was wrong with my speedometer as those MPH numbers started dropping . It wasn’t the bike’s speedometer that was defective. I gritted my teeth and pressed those pedals, stopping a block after that to see if I had enough air in the tires… thinking that must be the reason for the sluggish performance. Then I realized it was… um… me.

Don’t question my will though!!! I got back on and all I focused I was just thinking going five miles away from my house… then all I needed to do was turn around and come home. Simple huh? I started out toward the outskirts of town. Near the airport there isn’t a lot of buildings. In fact it got sort of creepy quiet at cloud cover moved in. I couldn’t help but think this was just the way that those horror movies start, alone near the woods away from everyone… Then these huge birds started circling high over head above me. I wondered if they could smell the end was near for me.

Nightmares continued as winds decided to howl pushing me sideways and at 35 degrees and me sweaty massive bone jarring chills ran through me. I had to stop exhausted near a big rock to sit and rest. I kept my helmet and goggles on, if I did drop at least those birds would have to work for their meal!!! The great thing about panicking is that adrenaline does wonderful things. I decided to turn back and suddenly I was hauling at 12 MPH, then even a peak at 16! It was either panic or the fact I had the wind at my back and I was now going down a slight incline rather than fighting up a tiny slope.

Back at the safety of civilization (a mall) I took another breather, this time a lot longer clutching my water bottle like a little kid hugging their teddy bear. I was about three quarters the way home and I got to go down the “friendly” hill (I call it because it has a restaurant by that name at the top.) My new speed record downhill is 25.5 mph! I think I could have gotten past 30 put I was hard on the brakes in fear. (BTW- this is not the terror hill that feels like a cliff I mentioned some posts back… I have yet to make it up the Belnap mall hill one which was in the other direction)

So in the end… I survived climbing two small hills without stopping on either of them, 11 miles, and vultures. Now I just got to do it without 3 rest breaks and taking all day to do it.

At Foolsfitness we are masters in two wheel anarchy!- Alan

Go Ape with Over 100 Blogs + Resources to Check Out!!!

2010-03-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

That’s right OVER 100 links to check out right here!!! Well, this will keep you reading for a bit…What makes the blogging community great is the sharing and support. I’ve got some great links to share…

**I want to thank Rachel M. and Loretta S. for being my first two sponsors in my upcoming 1st ever bicycle-a-thon I’m doing for the Jonathan Gilmour Fund at Zoo New England. (If you missed my last post) The fund helps projects from monitoring spotted turtles using radio transmitters to helping chimps in Nigeria. At last look I’m 20% to my goal and if you can I’d appreciate a bit of support large or small, Like I said this will be my first marathon and I’m going to be the biggest guy there and very nervous. Here is a link if you can help with a donation:
http://www.zoonewengland.org/foolsfitness

“Pictured above: ZNE Lead Zookeeper Erica Farrell gives a young chimp a bath at the Drill Rehabilitation and Breeding Center in Nigeria.”- I borrowed that picture of the fund project’s very first award winner on one of the zoo new England pages.

**If you live in the New Hampshire USA area check this out:
http://www.nh.gov/dot/nhbikeped

I found a great resource to find places to use my new bicycle and explore a bit. For those who live in other areas I just used a search engine typing in my state and bicycle paths to find it. I think the bike and walking paths will rock, because riding the edge of the road isn’t without some risks. I know I’ve had some close calls. Going for a walk is about the lowest impact thing for exercise you can do. You don’t need a lot of equipment. Getting out cuts some of the isolation and getting a little sun might be a good thing. I’m not saying what you eat isn’t important. Just try going for a walk if you can… you might be surprised how you feel.

**Now the link of links for this post. I want to make it clear I don’t “endorse” or am “paid” for any of these. Some of them I actually disagree with but as a whole it’s got some meat on the bones in my opinion. The break it down into:
Bloggers-
-Those loosing weight
-Those who have lost their weight
-Moms loosing weight
-coming back from obesity

Then there are link sections for healthy nutrition, fitness and exercise… weight loss information and support. There is 100 (yup count em one hundred links to check out!!!) Again at Foolsfitness I’m not endorsing them, just sharing. Foolsfitness isn’t about the fad diets, 5 minute workout machines, and such that may be found in some of them… ok-ok- ok here’s the link

http://www.nursingschools.net/blog/2010/03/100-best-blogs-for-weight-loss-support

Start clicking… and don’t forget to breathe in your mouse aerobic workout!!!-

UPDATE: At Foolsfitness we officially went 18 miles and hour down hill on the “boba” bicycle and did 10 miles an hour on level ground!!! I was hoping to work on endurance this weekend but it’s hovering at freezing here.- Alan

Riding for Penguins

2010-03-26T04:47:00.000-07:00

The latest… I ate a bug! I’m riding my new bicycle down a huge hill. No, scratch that. I’m pretty much freefalling down the side of a cliff, and as I’m smoking my brakes to the point I’m smelling burnt rubber and I open my mouth to scream in terror… and gulp. I ate a bug. With that and the threshold of pain nearly reached in the soreness of my backside… I reached one of those Zen like states and epiphanies transcending to a higher plane, that only come from accidentally eating bugs I think. I knew my next goal…

I’d like you to join me in support of my VERY FIRST Bike-a-thon!!! I’m taking this fitness journey up a notch and to the next step. Boy I think it’s going to be a bit awkward being the largest (by far I’m pretty sure) bicycle rider in this. but my training has officially begun for the Jonathan Gilmour Fund Bicycle Run on May 8, 2010. I’m hoping to have some pictures to share and great stories to tell.

I didn’t decide lightly what charity to do my very first bike ride in. The Gilmour fund has helped fund the care for chimps at the Pandrillus Drill (a type of baboon) Rehabilitation and Breeding center in Nigeria, studies of Hornbills in Thailand, studies of Macaws in the Peruvian Rainforest… and even purchase of radio transmitters to monitor spotted turtles! The fund has also helped staff at the zoo in education on how to raise funds for animal related projects. The name “Gilmour” is of a park employee that passed away a few years back sadly at only just a short 29 years of age.

So I’d like to ask your pledge of support in helping the animals and encouraging me along on my fitness journey at the same time.

please go here:

http://www.zoonewengland.org/foolsfitness

You can find a spot to make a donation. I set my goal to raise $100

If you can’t or choose not to, no pressure… no guilt. If you can, thanks… I think it’s a good cause and I think it’s a goal I personally need to move up along my fitness goals. I would have never thought a year ago I’d be in a bike-a-thon!!! I’d really appreciate the support, large or small as a bit of emotional boost for this. I’m pretty nervous… I’ve never done something like this. But, if I can do this… it might give me the momentum to do even more to get closer to a more healthy body.

Who knew there just might be a marathoner hiding at foolsfitness?! - Alan

Holy Real Foods Batman!

2010-03-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

The last fresh vegetable I had in my house was sometime last year (a spaghetti squash I actually did a blog about) I don’t recall the last fresh fruit I’ve had in my house beyond an old withered apple far back in my fridge, at least I think that was what it was… and what smelled in the fridge.

I took a Spring Challenge to eat foods that have more nutrition and tonight I am a man of action. Look closely and you will see fresh fruits and veggies, whole grain wraps, and in the front… oh, how’d that Funny Bone candy wrapper get in there?! Hey, I did get diet soda too and passed up the two for one special on the ice cream so cut me a bit of slack on the cupcake. Not a single chimichunga in that shopping trip!

I’m nuts about chimichungas and burritos so I figured I’m going to give wraps a shot. I found whole grain wraps at 160 calories a shot and cheese slices at 60, I figure a pickle slice is nada and 2 slices of extra lean ham only hits 50. Then 10 and 15 for salsa and jalapenos… that’s 295 before onions and tomatoes (what are the calories in onions and tomatoes anyway?) I encourage your ideas on keeping this interesting and roaming around the 300 calorie level. I got some kind of spray salad dressing that you can squirt ten times for 15 calories!!! Maybe I should just use that all day as a breath freshener?

Speaking of roaming… My scouting mission into the fruit and veggie aisle was like walking into an alien land (like I mentioned in that Alien Pod post last year) I finally figured out that they have little bag dispensers to put the produce in. Some food frightened and confused me. I thought a “leek” was what happens to a bad water pipe, and don’t have the slightest clue was a parsnip is. Are you suppose to eat parsley? I couldn’t believe they sold grass named after that kid from the little rascals too.

As I set out all this food on my futon to take a picture to prove I actually have REAL food I think I seriously messed up my cat. In all of her indoor life I’m not sure if she’s ever smelled things like fresh broccoli and strawberries in my house.

The last thing is when I got home I realized I actually don’t own a steak knife to cut up onions or tomatoes with. (don’t laugh! Some bachelors are that way!) I begged a understanding neibor… and she gave in on a loan of one with the promise to get it back as it’s part of a set. I tried to convince her to part with it, maybe she’ll forget she let me borrow it. She also reluctantly gave me a pot to cook the veggies in and I can keep that. It’s really not the most odd things I’ve asked to borrow by far.

At Foolsfitness it’s usually strange and bizarre yet ironically with not so much exaggeration as you might think!-Alan

That Hill

2010-03-23T05:28:00.000-07:00

Armed with my new bicycle complete with seven gears I gave that hill the stare of a gunslinger saying… “look buddy, it’s you or me and I came ready!!!” I’d like to formally introduce you to my new bicycle I have named “Boba” after the bounty hunter Boba Fett in Star Wars… Why? Well firstly it’s a danger to everyone around him, including myself. And I’m gaining gadgets as we speak from racks to water bottle and bell. I even mounted a boba fett bobble head figure on the handlebars.

Back to the hill. This time I came prepared and I meant business. Well, last time I meant business too… but I digress. I approached the hill and downshifted, and then again. As the incline reached to cliff face steep I was determined like Charlie Brown in kicking that football. I went to downshift some more as I gasped for air. Oh no!!! I don’t have any gears left to downshift as I hit 1st and I was tiring at ¾ the way up the hill. I started my little train that could mantra, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!” Then reality hit as those pedals started feeling like I was leg pressing a tyrannosaurus rex. I stopped.

After gathering wind… maybe only 20 minutes or so… I started pedaling again. I made it up the hill the rest of the way. I wasn’t going to walk it out. Just from of sheer gut check arrogance. Next time you evil hill I’ll make it without stopping!!!

There was a wild moment in the bicycle ride though. (not that getting out and riding isn’t an accomplishment in itself) back on level ground coming home I saw two teenagers on BMX style bicycles ahead of me. I hit a higher gear and completely smoked them!!! I just nodded to one as I flew by and I’m almost positive one nodded back in appreciation over the speed I was pulling. They actually disappeared behind me in short order. Oh how I relished in that moment!!!

I wanted to mention reading one of the most moving and powerful posts I have *EVER* read on another persons blog. I seriously encourage you to check this out :

http://chrislivessimple.blogspot.com/2010/03/because-this-is-serious.html

If you want a powerful image, if that won’t stir you… I don’t know what will. I’m haunted by it, chills running up my spine as it hit such a chord of truth in the visualization. Whoa. If you don’t take the time to read that link I think you are missing out on something that might give you new resolve in your fitness journey.

And Remember that at Foolsfitness the Boba Bicycle is a force of chaos not easily ignored!!!- Alan

Spring Challenge!

2010-03-21T04:35:00.000-07:00

Spring is here! Well... if you live in the U.S.A. With natures fresh new start maybe it's time for our fresh new start too???

There is a neat challenge at:

http://lorettasjourney.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-223-new-spring-challenge-wanna-join.html

That involves 13 weeks of trying to focus on better nutritional choices and a pledge to try to get a little movement in each day. Normally I tend to avoid the “challenges” circuit because I am concerned in building my fitness not around an end goal but this seems like a wonderful “spring” board to get me back on track after soooooo long of a funk.

Moreover you folk who have read my blog at all will know my nutritional choices need a bit of improvement as my diet is primarily chimichungas and granola bars with a smattering of Chinese food. Her “spring” challenge has a tigger mascot, but being a rebel and also a huge Eeyore fan I had to do my version.

I’ve stepped up my bicycling and have finally got a new bicycle to replace my single speed cruiser that I now gave to a friend.… my new bicycle is a 2009 Raleigh venture I bought as last years model for a sweet discount. I spend yesterday trying to get pannier (saddle) bags for the rear rack to no avail. I hit 4 local shops and no one has any in stock except one and they wanted 80 dollars. I hate to avoid shopping local for the on-line choice but I may give in this time. I didn’t pay eighty dollars for my old bicycle I just retired!!!

At Foolsfitness Eeyore will be bringing up the rear in Loretta’s Spring Challenge!!!- Alan

Doing the Impossible Still Impossible

2010-03-14T15:55:00.001-07:00

When I was in high school it seemed liked each year at some point they had some sort of President’s Fitness Challenge. If you could pull off the required number of sit ups, push-ups and other forms of torture that would win you a patch. Oh how I wanted that patch. I’ve always been fairly active but also weighed way too much for any seriously skinny people endeavor like sprinting or running with any respectable time.

It seems like an oxymoron, for if you do it… well, it’s possible isn’t it? In the life of someone who’s got a lot of excess weight there are some “simple” things that for more average weight folk are just not simple at all. Sliding into a booth at a restaurant, tying your shoes, finding clothes that fit… aren’t hideous… and don’t cost six times more than they should.

My level of activity seems make my weight a bit of an illusion in some areas. A 300 pound plus guy with a normal blood pressure always seems to confound the doctor. During High school I think only one thing held me back from that illusive “presidential fitness patch”. Lets just say you find a kid who weighs the kind of weight I did doing pull-ups.

But the gym teacher had a plan for me. He said each day to just come in and “hang” on the bar. I’d develop my arms eventually to be able to do a pull-up. That’s right dear readers I couldn’t do a single pull up, never mind the 6 or 7 needed to get the patch. So hearing the Rocky music in my imagination I went time after time to “hang” on the bar. I pulled and pulled… and at the end of the year… GUESS WHAT… absolutely nothing. No sheer will could moved that mountain of flesh vertically upward. Some of you that remember it can now insert the agony of defeat image they used to play on tv years ago where you saw that poor skier tumbling and smashing down the mountain.

But guess what… I still can’t do a pull-up. Not the expected story you geared yourself up for is it?

Sure, there is a story I’m building up to here. The other day I went for a swim at the local gym pool. There was a ton of people in the pool and I looked at crossing two lanes and worming my way by a half dozen kids to the ladder to climb out after my swim. Then I saw another swimmer just casually lift herself up by the arms on an edge to sit and then pop up. I have never done that in my entire life either.

I don’t know what came over me, the lunacy of the idea being un-impossible or merely the fact I wanted to avoid the section of all those kids but I went to the edge of the pool and did my best positive thinking secret envisioning of me repeating that. Then… I popped and rolled and yanked and wallowed and frankly felt like a beached whale. But I did somehow crawl my way out of the pool without a ladder. It wasn’t pretty or graceful but it happened. Is there a patch for getting out of the pool without a ladder? There should be.

Next goal is building up the bike riding skills enough to do some multi-mileage touring.

And don’t forget that at Foolsfitness we have personal trainers that specialize in shoes tying and in booth fitting into.- Alan

I’m One Bad Biker, Actually Really Bad So Far

2010-03-06T18:28:00.001-08:00

So I broke out my trusty bicycle once again. This time there was a hill involved in my peddling adventure! Before I get to the up’s and downs of the hill perhaps I should mention my trusty aluminum steed. It takes a real man to ride a girls bike… or perhaps a guy who’s real short on cash and it was the one on the best sale last fall.

I’m a rocket… ok, at least the “Rock” part of it if anyone has followed the blog since last year I’ve mentioned this is a classic bike with two speeds… slow and stop. But it’s got great wide whitewall tires. It’s a bit art deco retro. I hooked up a makeshift basket to the handlebars… it’s a soft lunch pail cooler I got at the thrift store for a dollar and a half. It’s large enough to put my lock in and some small items. I’ve learned today to zip the cover. I started rolling down previously mentioned hill. Lets just say that something weighing over 300 pounds gets trucking by gravity pretty darn well down a hill. As I reached supersonic and heard that sonic boom my eyes were tearing and face pushed back from all the G forces. Then I realized it wasn’t a sonic boom at all but my stuff at been ripped out of the basket at that ungodly speed. I was actually part pleased to slowdown and stop to get that junk anyway, I don’t think those bicycles were designed for that speed anyway… I had sort of a death wobble as I hit Mach one.

Note to self: get one of those cool drag racer car parachutes to release behind the bike in stopping after hills.

Going “up” the hill… well first I tried a bit, then two kids passed me, one on a tricycle and the other in one of those battery powered toy cars. But I swear, it must have been super modified by some racing savvy dad. Well, I exaggerate a bit. I was sort of near stopped. I looked at the rest of the hill and decided the best thing was to get off the bicycle and walk it up the hill.

Near the top of the hill must have been the mother of those kids. She was pushing a stroller. It was just like NASCAR, I knew this was my chance… once I was on level ground I peddled my heart out once more… she’d pulled away from me a bit… but I was finally able to ride up right behind her and use that fancy Stockcar racing drafting trick to blow by her doing at least maybe 3 miles and hour. All right again… to be honest I think she stopped and was looking at this huge guy huffing, drenched in sweat and perhaps pondering the bizarreness of the scene.

Then I made a pit stop. I figure if I’m a racer that’s important. Unfortunately I ended up with three candy bars… likely overfilling my “tank” that I just burned off.

Still just waking up, after passing out on my futon when I got home, and writing this… I first enjoyed that euphoric endorphin high from a serious workout… then realized I’d need a few minutes to manage convincing my sore and beaten body to crawl to the floor and eventually to the computer chair and pull myself up into it. Oh, yeah… I’m one bad biker now!!! Bad to the bone! At least to the tail bone.

Another note to self: Save money to get one of those cools bike bells that goes "ching ching ching"!

At Foolsfitness we endorse those cool little streamer things on the grips of your bike and also putting a baseball card in the spokes to get that cool tick tic tic sound!!!- Alan

My First Triathlon!

2010-03-04T21:41:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of the recent winter Olympic games I’ve done my own triathlon! Well, to be specific I’ve only taken my bicycle out twice this week for about 3 miles or so each time. My swimming consisted of my manly dog paddling for an hour at the local gym. I’ve done some walking… technically my only run consisted in a fast trundle across the road a couple of times avoiding traffic. Oh, I guess there is the small detail that the whole thing didn’t happen at once but over a week…

BUT OTHER THAN THAT it was just like a triathlon! Sort of.

My eating is way WAY off. I seem to be gaining all the weight I’ve fought off back on. I’m starting to wonder if it has to do with all the soda, candy, and second or third helpings.

That being said, I’m nearing the one year anniversary of Foolsfitness that will “officially” be celebrated on April first of course being April Fools Day!!! I can’t help but look back and see over this year I have lost weight… but it’s gone far beyond that. I’ve made massive progress in decluttering my life. My house, while not finished, is more organized and clean. I’ve looked at the “fat” in a lot of my life and have done things like invested time more wisely… reading more and doing more art. I’ve even noticed that I’ve curbed some of the impulse buys. Bicycling, swimming, even trucking along for 5k’s at a reasonable pace beyond strolling.

So I’ve made several “commando” raids into a healthy life… several successful “scouting” missions, even including organizing a group to learn more about nutrition and raise money for a local charity. I’ve even eaten a few vegetables!

So as April Fools Day rolls up I need to deeply ask myself is this a game or am I going to stop “fooling around” with Foolsfitness and start building the Empire. Am I a thorn in the side of my “deer in the headlights self” or seriously pledge my allegiance to “Mr. Determination Alan” that visits from time to time? He’s proven he can do a lot. He’s taught me to restraint impulse a bit, not out of deprivation but out of wanting something greater.

Recently Sean Anderson talked about a 365 day challenge where you invest in yourself. He's right in it can't be a choice for a day or a week or a month... that's just the start. In fact it's beyond 365... or rather all of 365... No excuses... plain honest... the way it is and what you want and the gut check to pursue it. I have a lot of respect for his iron curtain or steel wall or diamond plate chain mail where he’s really made the final choice of trying to seriously make consistent good choices.

I know I like having clothes that fit better. I know I’d like to be able to go into a “normal” sized area of a store and get something that has some fashion to it. Not that I’m a diva (can guys even be divas?) but I do appreciate style. I know I see goals I’d like to do… but the question falls simply to are they worth the work at the shot. What’s the value of that pseudo safe cupcake?

If Fools Fitness is the village idiot, perhaps he can ultimately be the kind like Cyrano de Bergerac? I seem to have this incessant need to pick a fight with the universe in general anyway. Trying to look around it doesn’t appear I’ve got anything better to do anyway. Besides that I really think the world needs another superhero and may I humbly state I look good in a cape.

Tomorrow I make another supply run for V8 Juice and my trusty chimichungas.

At Foolsfitness we want you to celebrate April first proper… don’t forget to have a bit of Chinese Food or a chimichunga for Alan!

Questions, Movies, + Endorsements… Oh My!

2010-03-01T04:03:00.000-08:00

I’d like to officially endorse Foolsfitness non-endorsing stance but first…

If you were a character in a movie who would it be? Is it the character you want to be in the movie you want to be? There have been moments in my life that I’ve had the blessing to have almost lived “Ferris Bueller's Day Off “ I‘ve actually woken up in the morning and somehow ended up in a parade or rock concert out of the blue.… Where everything got bigger than life and nothing could go wrong.

Sometimes I feel like Frodo in The Lord of the Rings. Going on this walk forever, to rid myself of this burden… that dumb ring that weighs so much and I can‘t get rid of it. Sometimes it feels a bit like the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz has sent her flying monkeys after me. I’ve had a bit of “you’ve got mail” but not the cool ending. I may have lived a bit of “Napoleon Dynamite” as a kid.

I wonder if lots of us feel like we are in those movies of epic quests and journeys, be it Alice in Wonderland, The Wizard of Oz, or Lord of the Rings.

If I could pick a character… I’d be tempted to pick Richard Simmons. Technically he’s not a “character” but if I could tone down the sequin shirts thing a bit he seems to rock. I don’t think there is a “Rocky” or much of a “Rambo” in me. I’m more the old Obi-wan Kenobi who meets up with Luke sky walker in the original 1977 era movie, and frankly while most kids relate to Luke or want to be Han Solo I’m aiming for the Ideal of that old wise Jedi. Still many days I feel like it’s a bit of Monty Python. Sometimes it isn’t so bad though… I’m never “bored” I never really understood how people can be. Maybe that’s the blessing of being an artist… but I digress.

*So who are you in what movie and who would you like to be (if different?)*

Now to “endorsements”. In a recent comment section someone seems to be plugging some kind of Smurf berry juice that probably is touted to solve all your problems including lightening the weight of your wallet. This was the second time it would appear that the “comment” was just a way to steal ad space. I guess I’m complimented in a way that they think I have enough readers to warrant trying to get a name up. The sad part is they may not have taken the time to look at my “Fools Fitness Fellowship Pledge” on the right hand row that I am in no way a fan of magic potions, 5 minute workout machines, and all that gimmicky stuff.

Still, as of yet I have never deleted a comment and I appreciate comments. I even like comments that are constructive criticism. I do endorse free speech even if I think something someone says is off the line crazy. Because if I start playing the “I’m offended” Politically correct game and censer then everyone else gets offended and starts the same and eventually none of us can say anything at all. If I have to set a rule… and thus far it’s never happened… I’d be concerned with excessive harsh language if there may be a chance that younger viewers may also bump into the place.

Now that I know the Power that Fools Fitness wields in endorsement I guess I should endorse something beyond my “power of the plate” rule in that you have the ability to either put on or remove from the contents of your plate.

So I endorse… Blue skies with those puffy white clouds that can be in the shape of animals. I guess I’m guilty by association of endorsing Chinese Food as well?

At Foolsfitness we want your endorsement of you!!!- Alan

Insert Rocky music

2010-02-27T05:10:00.000-08:00

Stairs… I laugh at your puny verticalness! Your diminutive height is little threat to me… stair master extraordinaire.(Insert Rocky theme music and visions of him running up stairs here)

I ended up food shopping with my next door neighbor. She has asthma and some kind of broncitious thing going on that makes her cough, barking like a rabid chuahua. Being my most awesome (and humble) filled super self I said, “Don’t worry! I’ll help you” I really needed a cape to pull off the superhero moment properly, yet I went on anyway.

What am I rambling about? She doesn’t live on the first or second floor here. Moreover I had multiple trips of groceries to haul up the stairs. The cool part that I’m still tickled with a day later is this.

*I zipped up and down stairs of six flights, carrying stuff, and wasn’t winded!*

At the end I actually stopped and laughed as all that had happened was I was breathing a little more deeply. Not winded in the least! It actually felt refreshing. Sick huh?

I’ve been working on my fitness, also several other areas of my personal life and have made a lot of progress that I’m proud of. Fighting other battles at the same time I still feel a bit stretched though. Yesterday I tackled yet another task in regaining my house… I found the stove and microwave over the coating of grease that has covered them for the last two years. I have also found my stuffed Star wars Ewok… I think it was hiding under the bed frightened by the mess that my flat studio had become over the last two years. I’ve been doing some more art and also trying to catch up on looking around to see what people are doing in art right now in general. The next step there is to reintegrate into some groups of fellow cartoonists to get inspired and challenged.

It’s not all yippee here (not that there isn’t yippee, in no way could it be considered a “yippee free zone“) I *AM* still fighting with food. I seem to have the general rule that if it isn’t moving it should be considered as a possible thing to eat. I also keep forgetting Lent rule days. Forgive me Father for I like meat… and food in general.

Oh, I think the counter is currently 6 days away from the Chinese Food buffet.

And remember that at Foolsfitness we endorse stairs. - Alan at Fools Fitness

Betrayed! The Temptress and Mr. F

2010-02-21T23:15:00.000-08:00

Where have you been? Why is your hair wet? What is that smell on you? Never mind me.

Well What about the what about the late night trip??? questions like Didn’t I see you in the restaurant with HIM again need to be asked too?! It wasn’t going so well. Why can’t things work? Why can they just function?! Do you really want to be with “Him”? I thought she was the one… yet she crushes me. How can you keep doing this to me? I trusted you! Time and time again you lie to me and I fall for it.

Now I sit in front of my computer at the ungodly hour of the morning my mind racing. Who is Mr. F? Like I didn’t notice you had made dinner for 2 again!!! I don’t know where to start but I’ve been betrayed. The world is spinning so fast. My head is spinning as I ask why, my heart is breaking.

I went to the gym today and came home smelling of chlorine because I’ve been in the pool for a fair workout. My goal was for an hour of just to keep moving. I got in maybe 40 minutes. I look in my trash can as I bag it up to take it out and the evidence was there… Someone has been eating all my food while I‘ve been trying to improve myself some other guy has been in *MY* house!!! I checked the scale. I didn’t want to, I guess I’ve been in denial of the illicit relationship but it’s there. About a 12 pound gain since Jan 1st.

So Who is Mr. F? My Mister Future still seems to be fighting and then giving into the temptress who flirts him into her web with second helpings, too much Chinese food, and sloth type ways! Mr. Fools Fitness Future is in a steel cage death match with double S the Soul Stealer who’s determined to lure me into a slow quiet death by OD on MSG!

That’s where you come in my blogging friends. We are fooled by thinking it’s a tug a war with our past self and our old ways. But it’s a tug of war with our possible future self. Help me pull and I’ll try to help you pull too. We can perhaps learn from our past… but we can not be consumed by it, because it is done and can not be changed. Our time machine is set to the future of our dreams yet is constantly trying to be reset by who we are now by whim and ease. Two Mr. Futures stand in front of me pulling hard against each other.

There is an old Benedictine prayer that loosely translates to, “The drink you offer is evil. Drink that poison yourself.” Yet that devil offers such a tempting sweet elixir of death. Let us remind one another time and time again that the drink of now is so pale in comparison to the drink of the future if we can deal with parched throats in the desert travel to get to that oasis of Eden.

It comes back to the eternal question… well I sell out searching for my Mr. Future for that extra Chinese Food and the pseudo peace illusion. There is a safety in slavery. Is the possibility of freedom worth the fight?

Let us drink to our health and not in the sweet poison to our demise no matter how sweet it appears for it is only the most powerful of illusions! Please keep reminding me my friends. As for me when I can I shall try to keep reminding you of this illusion of this temptress (or tempter?) as well.

At Fools Fitness the Civil war rages on. Yet I can’t seem to pick a side and stay on it. -Alan

Determination

2010-02-15T23:36:00.000-08:00

Why am I posting two times in less than 24 hours? I have never done that. Well you’ve seen me guest post a few times, but now I have taken over. It’s complex… let me explain.

It’s about 1:45 AM. I can’t sleep. I caught myself staring in the mirror for a very long time and frightened myself, then took a few pictures until I could get “it”. He is here. He wants out and will no longer accept the word no or can‘t. He is sick of the sell out excuses of giving into the quick and easy now payouts and will flatten that deer in the headlights guy who is in the before shot of way back in April of 2009 (see the side bar down a bit). This is fools fitness, he’s ripped, he’s angry, hungry, and it’s totally beyond boot camp sergeant playtime. Life is passing away and it’s no longer looking on from the safety of the sidewalk time. Restraint is over. The life business of “me” is now.

Note to self. You may not win but until now you’ve been loosing big. Now it’s time to replace the loss of life each day for a new loss… in weight. Time for a gain. If not now when? It’s a one shot life. Don’t miss the adventure any more! Time to throttle life for all it’s worth. The old one must go. It’s shallow and worthless to hide in fear.

Attention “Deer in the headlights” self… please note you are not nearly frightened enough. Be afraid of me because I will run you down and crush you because you’ve held me hostage long enough. It’s time for my rules. Oh, anger doesn’t even begin to describe the start of it. You’ve messed with me long enough. No more playing it safe. One of us isn’t going to make it. Remember last year… I beat over 30 pounds off you. Now you need to leave. I ain’t asking you… I’m telling you. I ain’t threatening you, your going out the hard way. The “big” Al is being thrown out. Foolsfitness Alan is coming in and he’s Big… as in Bigger than life. You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Read this and fear me. Read this and dread. I will crush you with biceps the strength you can‘t even fathom, trample you under the powerhouse of my will the likes you have never even dreamed of. Flee in terror, you are no longer welcomed here. Your failures will no longer be tolerated. We’ve tried peace talks after peace talks. We tried management and banishment, yet you keep returning repeatedly sucking the soul out of life. It’s done as of this moment. Deer in the headlights self… you must now die. It might even sound a bit sadistic but I’m going to enjoy it too. Remember it’s payback for all the life you have stolen away from me. Don’t try hiding behind food or excuses. No settling or Plan B’s because I see you clearly in my sniper scope. I’m hunting you down. Be afraid old self. Alan is taking over Alan because Alan can’t cut it. Alan’s going down hard and isn’t getting up because Alan is truly hungry for life and is taking over.

Hello everyone… I’m Alan of Foolsfitness. I’ve had to overthrow the old king. It was regrettable but we could no longer co-exist. It is the dawn of a new era. The old king is dead… now, long life to the new king. Mark the time… 2:30 am feb 16th 2010 in history. It’s the official day and time that Alan over threw Alan.

Foolsfitness is now under new management. We are no longer of two minds.- Alan of FoolsFitness

$3 for a Fortune 500 Company Business!!!

2010-02-15T15:45:00.000-08:00

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Imagine if I offered you a chance at your very own Company for three measly dollars! Moreover, I’m going to give you the company right now… if you like it you can send me the three dollars. But you should send the three if you do, and here is why... It’s a physical symbol of action of your commitment to your very own business, a symbol of the value you invest, that you actually are investing, and are serious enough to invest. As a incentive to this fine offer if you send $3.00 I’ll even mail you back your very own personalized full color certificate of ownership suitable for framing!!! (better up that to $5.00 if it’s out of the U.S.A. to cover my mail costs?)

IF YOUR NOT SERIOUS ABOUT SUCCESS PLEASE IGNORE THE REST OF THIS POST AND COME BACK LATER.

What if *YOU* were that company. Is investing in yourself worth the three to five dollars? Act now folks because the clock is ticking.

WHAT IS THE GIMMICK?

What have you got to loose? A few bucks? What can you gain? Better odds at a purpose driven more fulfilling happy life. I don’t guarantee success, anyone who does may be lying to you. What I *DO* GUARANTEE is increasing the odds in your favor.

1) the first step is *Change your perspective* by looking into the mirror and saying these words, “ My business is me. I am now my very own business.” You have already been your company… *YOU* dash inc.. “incorporated” copywrite trademark. But have you applied yourself to purpose? Are you really investing in yourself, stacking the odds in purposeful direction?

Take a business model and apply it to your life. I want you to find a notebook and start making sections in it or just use a multi-subject notebook.

TAKE THE FIRST PAGE: write and rewrite your company statement. Your company is you. What is your “mission statement“? Your ultimate goals? If you as yourself was a fortune 500 successful company

CAPITAL INVESTMENT: every business needs machinery to make their widgets, or a attractive storefront, suppliers, and a market. Look at your mission statement. If it is becoming “more healthy” that is investing in quality materials to manufacture that product. If your life solely is twinkees and chips, well would great cars be made of mud? If your machinery to build “you” consists of you on the couch in an aerobic workout with a remote… could you build a great car with a shovel and pail you make sandcastles with? Maybe that means decent food materials for production and getting to the gym… even inventers strapped for cash may not afford the assembly line of a gym membership but they likely cobbled together at least a decent workshop. Can you afford to make a walk a daily routine?

YOUR STAFF HELP: imagine a business where employees showed up to work twice a week, cut out early or came in late, and didn’t focus on their work… then met with you about a raise and benefit package. FIRE THEM!!! If your goal is good health that gal or guy who spends all day on the break room couch with a cup of Joe has got to go! The employee is also the boss. You’re a sole proprietorship. If you want the benefits of “more healthy” (or other benefits like lower debt, more quality time with your family, or nearly any other mission statement) it’s hard to be the employee that always calls in sick to help that company to be a success. Maybe you need to hire some temp workers like the doctor, personal trainer, DVD Richard Simmons workout to be your staff motivator.

LIABILITES AND DEBTS: Maybe the company needs a bit of cutting the fat. Who’s the one running up the company expense account with power lunch meetings at the Chinese food buffet everyday? (He better start producing more sales or he has to go!) Is your company loosing profits? Where?

MARKET SHARE: Where are the returns coming from? What are you successful at? What is “selling”? When I worked under my Art Master I had a running joke with other apprentices that we pledged to never get date planners and paint sail boats and light houses or we’d be “sell outs”. High capital A in Art is still a goal, but after looking back honestly if “cute” art sells and feeds my cat and keeps a roof over my head (which are two of my own “company” goals) I’m doing it too. It’s a strength in my company of “ME” that increases market share.

ASK YOURSELF: if you were your own company would others invest in you after you show them your profits and losses sheets with you company plan for the next year? You’re the CEO that just might turn this company around with an aggressive new plan or getting it showing even better returns.

THE PLAN: This isn’t rocket science. Look at your goals. Look at what you are doing and can be doing to point you in the direction toward them. If you don’t write them down, have them in your mind… well if you have no destination in mind you’ll get nowhere fast. This is also about doing. Companies produce… they don’t sit and wait for the profit fairy to visit.

*THERE IT IS FOLKS* Given to you knowing you need to show your investment at an incredible deal at a chance to either turn your company of *YOU* around or a chance of making better returns. Please don’t forget my small consultant fee. I don’t mind working cheap… but prefer not free all the time. (I don’t promise fortune 500 company… individual results may vary an all that… because that part is up to you!)

PLEASE SEND YOUR 3-5 dollars (make checks payable to: “Alan D Jones” ) for your own full color certificate of ownership of your own company suitable for framing of *YOU* to:

Alan D Jones
PO Box 394
Laconia, NH 03247-0394
U.S.A.

***DON’t forget your return address and name you want on the certificate!!!***

The costs cover my printing, mailing, and balance will go toward feeding my cat, art supplies, and general world domination plans. I’m calling you out here… are you serious enough to write out a check for a few bucks as a symbol of your commitment to your investing in yourself? Order now through the end of May 2010.

(BONUS OFFER SUPERDEAL! Throw in another buck or two and I’ll send you a random cartoon art print of one of my drawings!)

At Foolsfitness we are NOT about common sense. We are about Un-Common sense… that sells the company of YOU to you!!! I‘ll invest in the art of the certificate if you‘ll invest in you first. That's right... I'm crazy enough to sell you yourself... do you have the un-common sense to invest in yourself?- Alan

Death to Cupid

2010-02-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day is obviously a huge conspiracy but by whom? If you follow the money you’ve got the greeting card people, candy people, flower people, and others benefiting from the scam. No matter what you do you are ruined by it. At first I thought it was solely designed to torment people who don’t have a significant other to wallow in their own self pity but upon reflection I realize it also torments those attached as well. If you buy the girl candy she’ll accuse you of trying to ruin her diet and sabotage her efforts. However if you don’t get her candy it’s worse… because *then* she’ll obviously claim that you didn’t get her candy because you think she is fat and needs to lose weight. I’m pretty sure the dentists are in on the candy conspiracy because all that gooey goodness is job security for them as well as the clothing people and gyms… perhaps the diet folk too. Then the florists and greeting card people offer alternatives that just pad their own pockets.

Think about the twisted nature of the “big day”. You are under pressure to do something special to show your love… of which you should ideally be showing you care every day. Maybe if you were a rebel you could do a special day other than Valentines to show you really care but if you do it afterward you’d never hear the end of how you forgot V-day. So then to prove you care your *forced* to do it before… still doing it not by complete choice on your own free will but out of some twisted sense of duty of what’s right doing what you must. Love is a gift in pure form not a duty forced upon by the looming Feb 14th.

Maybe at this point your thinking I’m just bitter wallowing in my aloneness as the date approaches unable to share the moment with my soul mate and will just cuddle up to a pint or two of ice cream. Well, maybe there is that... But this is about twisted non-sense of V-day and other non-sense that gets in the way of our ideals!!! Important stuff… Ok, maybe a bit more of the other part too.

While I could complain about the day, which I have a bit, I can also look at it as a mirror moment, it’s also a time to take a temperature and see where I am on the road. Each day it's good to take a moment and look at the map. It’s work to figure out where you are in honest self reflection. Yet it doesn’t stop at that step. You got to look at where you want to go and *then* figure out ways to move toward (turn around or keep on moving to) the destination… then even further you got the step three to actually start *DO* (or keep) stepping (or trying to) in the right direction. That soul searching doesn’t amount to a lot if after all that work you don’t end up *doing* anything with the information you got… therefore we must hunt down Cupid and make that little winged arrow shooting minion of pain pay!!!

Wait… was that the message? I digressed again didn’t I? I meant to take a moment every so often to figure out where you really honestly are, to remind yourself where you want to go, and try to get moving (turn around or keep moving) in the right direction with ACTION. And speaking of action… if you see Cupid give that little runt a good slap upside the head for me.

And remember that Fools Fitness Gyms are closed for the Valentines Day holiday, sorry. The owner has a therapy session with some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream to get to. - Alan

The Bird and a 104 Year Old Man

2010-02-03T15:57:00.000-08:00

I read a wonderful story recently… A horsemen riding along a road came across a sparrow chirping happily as it was laying on the ground upside down with his feet up in the air and the man asked him why he was doing such a thing. The bird explained that he had heard the sky was falling. The knight laughed and said, ”what do you expect to do with those tiny, spindly little legs?” and the little bird said simply, “One does what one can.”

I also read a more sad story (a true one from AP network news a couple weeks back) about “The worlds strongest man” who was nearing 105 years old. He still walked 5 miles a day and on his 104th birthday he bent a dime between his fingers. He actually at that point apologized to people because he use to do it with thicker quarters and at a 104 he could then only do it with thinner dimes! Can you believe that! He had worked Cony Island during it’s hay day and had been a vegetarian all his life. This man who was in better health than most people in their prime was run over by a minivan a few weeks before his 105th birthday.

These are the controls in a WWII liberator plane. Clear, simple, easy, and straight forward ?! I really think as I seriously walk the road to a more fit life I have to remember that little bird and the quote, “One does what one can.” as well as the superman who somehow gets blindsided by kryptonite out of nowhere.

It would be easy to blame the fast food guys for making me humongous. I could also say I’m the one doing shots of chocolate shakes late into the night and the simple fact is I eat WAY too much. But as I clean my house and deal with old paperwork from 2005 that I have never opened I *AM* paddling upstream.

This isn’t a free pass here at all but maybe some of us are a bit hard on ourselves because life doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Your focus (To much extent) determines your reality… yet that being said I’m thinking about how much those “spindly little legs” (or in my case Godzilla sized ones) can hold up of the falling sky of work, art, faith, working out, sleep, eating well, doing laundry, paying bills, and ten thousand other things. Moreover I don’t even have a family that most people have that get ten thousand things more added on from packing kids lunches to trying to keep them safe and raise them well. Then a van comes out of nowhere and runs you down!!! I’ve been working on starting up a Art blog as I thought about this. Time seems infinite but time spent doing X is gone and can’t be applied to doing Y all while the world keeps on turning… sometimes dragging us or mowing us down…. Other times we ride it enjoying the merry-go-round a bit.

This isn’t a negative post although at first glance it might seem so. It’s just a reminder to me that my goal is to try to spend a little more time each day being that bird, just trying to live life and do it’s part. I may not have held up the sky all the time lately, but I’ve dodged a few minivans too. Is "totality" achievable? Maybe I'll just simply start a day with a goal to be a bit more purposefully focused that yesterday. Or even just plain reasonably focused is an achievement in itself too!!! Can you do worse? This isn't a *free* check but a *reality* check.

Notes about the artworks… the fast food one is mine, developed with graphic goodness and a bit of special sauce. The other is shamelessly stolen off the web. (I think it was from some manual)… I’ve got an urge to do some WWII style propaganda art to support the war on waistlines.

At Foolsfitness we remind you of our new rule… “Try to do your part for the war effort… because loose lips sink thighs and bellies!”-Alan

Happy Blogger Award... Mine and Yours

2010-01-28T21:20:00.000-08:00

I got a Happy Blogger Award from two people! Thanks Hallie and Paula Rodriguez!!! Normally I don’t tend to follow directions well for awards but who doesn’t want to list ten things that make them happy…

1) GOD: I love the Lord and am and active Roman Catholic. The love of God gives me life.

2) CARTOONING: as an artist my ability to create (and enjoy others) art. Creativity and the act of creation from computer artwork to drawing, painting, sculpting, and even making a teddy bear. I love Art both in it’s creation and enjoyment.

3) COMPUTERS: The internet can find you any information your interested in, aid you to create, and connect you to others. While I’m a bit techno-challenged I still think computers are incredible (At least when I can figure out how to use them)

4) BLOGS: People have some interesting things to share. People that inspire or make me think. I can find a blog with someone who has such a passion on nearly any subject.

5) COMMENTERS: people who comment on my blog energize me. It’s nice to know your not alone sometimes. Moreover they may offer some new insight.

6) BOOKS: I’m a certified bookworm. I love to read

7) LEARNING: more geekyness I honestly like studying things.

8) MUSIC: I don’t tend to listen to a lot of contemporary music but I adore the B-52’s, swing music, classical (except piano)

9) UNIQUE THINGS: a fedora hat, 100 year old rosary, a wind up pocket watch, an old zippo lighter from the navy. Some things just feel more “real” they have weight and style, they don’t need to be old and valuable (cash wise) but for me older things seem to have more substance. Maybe the world is better for having 29 cent bic pens but I also think it’s worse for almost abandoning fountain pens.

10) CHINESE FOOD! There are too many things to list to be grateful and happy about… like I’ve always wanted a Jeep. Or the cute factor of baby animals, or miniature wargames… Let me just say if heaven is proper it has all you can eat Chinese food buffets. Anyone who has paid any attention at all to this blog knows that Chinese food gets one of the top ten reserved.

This is the part I loathe and part of the reason I don’t normally do the directions with the awards. I have to list ten blogs. When I forget to add or run out of my ten choices someone (many folks rightly deserving of aknowledgement too) they get their feelings hurt. Moreover I can’t figure out how to hot link to peoples blogs yet either. But here is a few blogs that make me happy… for perseverance, accomplishments, style, for their support. Again, I have dozens of blogs I check out… I could spend years writing to everyone… yet here are a few bloggers.

1) Rettakat
2) cmoursler
3) bubbly
4) ant girl
5) arielcircleofnine
6) wildfluffysheep
7) friend of the bear
8) jo
9) chubby chick
10) Bonnie
11)???

I’m not trying to be flippant here I have to put in a number 11 for so many others in the blog world I’ve missed. To all of you who have commented, shared your stories and struggles as well as have inspired me by your victories. If I just lost a pound for every person on my blog roll and those ones I also follow that are not on my own lists… I haven't even mentioned Guys like Sean Anderson and the Anti-jared who’ve lost tons of weight I didn’t even put on the award list… well a pound for each person here and I would be back to my original birth weight of 6 pounds and four ounces!

At Foolsfitness we like awards, but the real rewards are in sharing the journey with all of you!- Alan

Fools Fitness Plan Gets Celebrity Endorsement!

2010-01-24T20:53:00.000-08:00

Fools Fitness has another award… But lets talk about celebrity endorsement first!!! Is it George Foremen? Oprah Winfrey? Lets just say that this individual “is smarter than the average bear” who endorses Foolsfitness!!! Ok, George, Oprah, or even Yogi Bear did *not* endorse Fools Fitness… But our Blog is *certified* as "Low Calorie".

Where has Alan been? Why does he talk in third person? What can he say except fame is rushing into his ego with carb tripper blogspot offering the “Beautiful Blogger Award” also and award forgot to be posted (Sorry) was for “Superior Scribbler Award” pretty far back from another blogger. What can be said except at Foolsfitness it’s the kind of place where people are busy taking aerobic classes in "Running with Scissors" and extreme strength training coloring outside the lines in "Extreme Coloring Tae Bo". Those Crayons make mighty fine hand weights.

Believe it or not I’m still trying to rearrange the house and clean the place out. Unfortunately that means closing the computer and home office as I move things around. I haven’t been on line for over a week. On the plus side I’ve found four dollars in change behind the cushions of my futon, as well as a few perfectly aged Cheerios. My goal is to get the office functional and it’s been a workout far beyond the gym. I totally under estimated the seriousness and volume of the mess. I’m maybe about two thirds done. I’m thinking the less clutter will transfer to my ability to focus on fitness as well.

I’m in that strange zone where I have just enough success to get arrogant and loose focus. It’s an odd place where most all my clothes are too big except the new ones which seem a bit too small. I’m in a place where I can get up from the Chinese food buffet after a plate… yet an hour later scarf down pizza that throws off the disciplined choices. I think spring will help when it comes and I can get out more… but that’s also an excuse. I need to deal with the now… where ever and what ever place the now may be weather or stress wise.

So back to the Foolsfitness basics. Awareness of portions, Mindful of my nutritional needs, Power of the plate and in what I put on it or take off it. And of course learning that I should hang up my clothes and throw away two year old junk mail.

At Foolsfitness it’s easy to make money and get a great workout at the same time… just clean under the cushions in your chairs… but don’t eat the old Cheerios you find.

Still digging a Tunnel

2010-01-14T15:25:00.000-08:00

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The 2nd week of tunneling is under way and I have now found my cat. I had to empty the fridge totally including my mustard that was a year past date… the only survivors there was a few cans of tuna. One of my New Years Resolutions was to find my house under all the rubble. This is no human undertaking as I have found junk mail from 2005. I’ve debated if it may in fact be easier to just move than clean and reorganize my little studio apartment. Being a bachelor I’m not exactly domesticated. Moreover my unwillingness to let go of my library of books and art supplies doesn’t help when I live in a place that is so small it doesn’t even have a closet. The Apartment won’t even get a normal address, it’s actually filed as “Apartment Zero” at city hall.
　
I’ve eaten one of the cans of soup that was dated a year past date and am considering eating the other as now there is pretty much nothing left. Sadly I had to part with peanut butter that was 6 months past expiration... But it didn’t matter as all the bread was rock hard in the fridge too. Maybe one way to loose weight is just to not have any food in the house? I’ve still got a stash of granola bars and beef jerky as I press on the dig. I think I need one of those miners lamps. Plus at work there is always someone willing to part with a donut.
　
A lot of our blogs focus on Diet and Fitness but I don’t think it stops at what we eat and how much we move. It is a transformation or evolution into something different. I struggle with the idea that if we change does that mean that the now is some how less, that we are less valuable now. The idea I’ve been mulling over is it’s not a value quantification to a person by some weight number be it 70 pounds or 1000, but it’s just a striving to be a bit more physically healthy as we makes changes.
　
I currently have three décor themes fighting within my home, well four if you can call the Odd couple’s Oscar mess a theme. Originally as a vagabond my apartment was modeled in let me say… early American thrift shop. Then I went to a safari theme. Then at the advise of a friend who said my house looked like a cave I decided to envision that Cindy Lopper and a bunch of clowns did a Martha Steward makeover. Now I’m trying to regain the Safari theme of my tree house. Currently I guess it would be clowns and Oscar from the Odd Couple on Safari.
　
That’s the thing about life. To really live, you need a vision of where you want to tunnel to, but not stop there as you dig and keep on digging. I just put up an old world style fictional map on my wall. It reminds me that I am to take an active role in trying to be a creator of my world. Well technically it’s God’s world but he lets us do a lot with it if we are willing.
　
At Foolsfitness we want to know if you can dig it? -Alan

Hunger JedI and DVD Give-a-way

2010-01-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

Time to announce the next winner of a DVD, but first I’d like to talk about hunger. People who have struggled with weight realize the incredible pull of being hungry. Lately I’ve been thinking that if it’s possible to channel that hunger it could wield incredible power. There is a far difference from a hungry lion to a grazing cow. Maybe I’ve got to remind myself that being a little hungry might just be actually a good thing.

Think of the reverse of the idea. Have you ever seen an animal (or a person) who stuffed themselves to the point they could barely move… then they likely took a lay down to sleep and digest. There is definitely an allure in that sedation. Yet with hunger there is a drive, a fire. I’m not talking starving hunger but an edge might just give one an edge.

Hungry people are pioneers. People like the Wright brothers who hungered for flight. Tesla and Franklin who hungered to harness electricity.

I think it keeps coming down to the core questions… Is it enough to be sedated and settle. It’s easier. The other option is to constantly ride that hunger into life with fire filled eyes thrashing into adventure both exciting and terrifying… or be comfortable. I’ve heard many people lately say they were bored. I don’t think life is boring. Settling is boring. Being too comfortable is boring. You could sleep your whole life away and miss it all.

I’m learning that mantra “that hunger you feel isn’t for food.” Sure food can sedate it but in the end just like any other “drug” it isn’t going to fix it… actually in the end it creates it’s own problems. Yet it’s a hard lesson… It’s a very seductive temptress. Who doesn’t want easy right? The diet and fitness machine gizmo industry practically thrives on selling the “easy” illusion or delusion (Notice I avoided the word solution… because that takes hunger!)

So as with most my year end review… up and down a bit but April to end of year 31 pounds lost… from 343 to currently 311.75!!! The holidays were a challenge, and so is stress. This year the goals are to stay hungry. Sedating the hunger isn’t totally helpful. I’m not talking starvation here but I think actually for years I’ve been starved of a full life. I think I'm starting to loose that glazed donut eye gaze. I like the eyes of hungry better. Just look at the deer in the head lights starting weight picture on the right I put up!
　
I’m learning the ways of the hunger force to become a Jedi and stand against the dark lords of gluttony, sedation, and settling. 31 pounds so far might just say the force is with me… but I am not a hunger Jedi *yet*. But after all the ups and downs I held the line of gaining only 1.25 pounds in the 3 months of holidays from October first. I was iron through Halloween, but that stuffing at thanksgiving found a chink in my armor and then the Chinese food flooded in!!! Still, holding weight off for months is good. Now on to getting more off.
　
I’m very proud of the “Fools Fitness Fellowship” group I started at my church. They have learned a lot and fought the good fight during the holidays as well as have raised over $120 for the church general funds. For our last events we bowled and proudly walked the mall, we now are more aware and mindful of our food choices. I’ve officially “retired” as leader, but it looks like we might keep going more informally and do more bowling and even belly dancing. (Well I might pass on the last one) Since April I’ve swam, bicycled, and Volleyballed my way to being more active.
　
The random drawing for my other Christmas give-a-way DVD goes to “Chubby Chick” chosen at random. I’m really happy she won because she was one of the first blogs I started to read as I began my transformation… she and a couple of others inspired me to blog. Her gotta loose 200 pounds blog reminds me to keep on going and keep on fighting. Let me say if your thinking about blogging, it’s help me process stuff, keep on track a bit better, stay motivated and supported, as well as have fun and be a part of a community of real people who know what it’s like to struggle with weight.
　
And remember that Foolsfitness always says “Don’t give into the cookies… they lead to the dark side!!! Stay a hungry Jedi, it makes you powerful“- Alan

My Chimichanga Diet!

2009-12-30T14:20:00.000-08:00

Before my *Amazing* new diet plan, it's time to give away a DVD! Loretta (Rettakat), from Loretta's Journey has won the first DVD choice for her art in my Christmas give-a-way… after she chooses I will randomly pick the other person to choose from the one of the other two DVD’s in the reply sections from the post start until Christmas eve night.
　
I ended the year on a bang… unfortunately it was a buffet fest bang. I’ve gained a lot. I haven’t recorded it yet but will reluctantly step on that scale (I haven’t in a while) to officially record a wild gain at the beginning of the year. I think there is a few others out there that didn’t quite point the scales in the direction they would have liked. Hey, honestly I could have passed on a lot of that food… and I take responsibility for it. I can come up with all sorts of cool excuses, I could easily make it complex… but it is simple, I forgot about my chimichangas.
　
When I was “On” I had a simple plan, about 1500 calories a day… divided into several small meals. Moving, nothing complex for exercise, just actively doing something. Chinese food was on Mondays. Believe it or not my basic diet really was based loosely around chimichangas. Some boca burgers, and granola bars… trying to maintain a balance between carbs, fat, and protien… no weird radial stuff. I was trying to work in more veggies. Then I got cocky and arrogant. Look at the fitness genius and legend! I lost focus, forgot to keep track of what I was eating. I always forget I’m not bullet proof! Missed exercise opportunities. The simple plan worked… until I forgot the simple, to watch what I eat and move… How rocket science is that? Why is it so hard for myself and so many to get it? Somehow I started making it complex with excuses.
　
I partly started the blog to enjoy poking fun about how those diet gurus, pill pushers, and fitness machine maniacs make it so complex. and naturally build my own fitness empire as another small step to world domination too! I can’t help but feel most of those guys have those complex gimmicks for the single purpose of preying on people for their money. A monastic like myself should remember that essence isn’t complex. Somehow I temporarily forgot my own message. *Stay mindful, be aware, actively choose, just remember I have the power of the plate in how much I put on it or remove from it.* The Simple is not the complex.
　
I got some more chimichangas tonight and had one for dinner… Simple… call me the Jared of chimichangas, but somehow they are the keystone of this fitness journey.
　
At Foolsfitness it’s all about the Chimichangas!- Alan

I Could Not Inhale Air, but I was Happy!

2009-12-25T09:08:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I have these shorts I keep on my bathroom door as a reminder of where I want to go in my resizing journey. Sometimes they come in handy when I want to gorge myself I just look at them, or even slip them on. At the beginning of the journey they would barely go up over my backside. Well the other day I sort of cheated and decided to see if I could buckle them up “under” the belly. I can officially say I got into those shorts before the end of the year!!!
　
Now there is some important information I’ve come across that I assume somehow that some chicks already know as I have seen some pretty tight jeans in my day on some ladies, but I’d like to pass along what I’ve picked up so far…
　
1) Keep that button on the waistband pointed away from people at all times. If it ever lets go under that kind of pressure someone loosing an eye is pretty much a given. Lets just say that I’m now thinking about getting a new television.
　
2) Never bend down. I’m not sure if there is a trick to sitting somehow in ultra tight garments… I think it involves some advanced breathing technique used by ancient dieters from Egypt who were expert exhalers. Enjoy lots of air before snapping them up, because inhaling just isn’t a good idea when if you are like me and trying to fit into pants 8 inches too small. I’m pretty sure that inhaling after buttoning them up wasn’t even an option.
　
3) As I mentioned about the inability of breathing. You’ve got a minute or so before you pass out… and those shorts if they are like mine are really hard (maybe even harder) to UNbutton so you might want a pair of scissors handy in reach to do some jaws of life can opener trick before you loose all feeling and hit the floor.
　
Ironically almost every family I know has somehow taken me out for Chinese food over the holidays. (Like I can say no anyway!) and eating under stress, and eating junk, and just eating everything in sight… lets say the new year will start a new weigh in with a sight reset. (Okay… major reset) BUT I FIT INTO THOSE SHORTS!!! (Kind-of…)
　
About the picture… I actually got elf pants given to me as a gift and they fit my Beenie baby sized Eeyore perfectly. I however have some work to do before they will fit me… or for that matter even remotely functioning in those shorts on my bathroom door either.
　
I’m still trying to take care of Christmas here, I haven’t forgot picking names for the DVD’s. I’m just trying to iron out those last holiday wrinkles and tie up those last few loose ends first.
　
A Foolsfitness Merry Christmas to all… and a Foolsfitness warning: “If your waist is eight inches more than the pants… you may not want to try it.” - Alan

Attacked by Elves

2009-12-16T20:39:00.001-08:00

Isn’t he adorable! My little elf was an early Christmas gift given to me by someone even more precious… thank you Elaine! There is a local doll company here called “Annalee dolls“. I've got a huge soft spot for cute teddy bears or little stuffed animals! I haven‘t even got my own Christmas shopping barely started and no decorations up… although I‘ve at least helped others do theirs, and it was nice spending time with them. Plus they got me Chinese food!!!
　
Sorry I haven’t posted as the norm. I’m being overwhelmed by life. I had to fill in for a service last minute for a pastor who is sick, I now have two classes I’m teaching, A couple of art projects going, inspecting (and repairing) my car, writing a newsletter article, and I’m trying to design a game that is similar to a miniature wargame and uses cards that isn’t about violence but in making Christian disciples that would draw the interest the youth of the church enough to play it while making it also useful for teaching about the Christian faith. (yeah that’s a big challenge but I‘ve got to find a way to reach out to them.) It short I’ve been flat out… burning the candle at both ends and it’s taken it’s toll. But after the first of the year it should mellow out a bit.
　
Plus loosing family and friends around this time of year… including two friends this year… it’s just a lot. I’ve had to cancel Christmas trip and skip appointments due to double booking the time in error. I sort of need to break myself into three when all I want to do is hide in my house. I don’t think I was really anywhere near 100 percent before all this to start with. There is even so much ice in my driveway that cars in park with the emergency brake on can slide down the hill. To top it off I cracked a piece of stained glass in an orniment I was making that took me hours… just as I was doing the last bit of solder. (Sorry, enough whining… here’s the facts about fitness)
　
As far as diet and exercise go, well I’m falling apart. I’m not putting any energy into watching what I eat… then stress eating and being loose on the go. Skipping workouts… gaining weight. I’ve got to refocus and get some priorities in line… if I can’t keep me together I can’t serve others well for long.
　
I guess this time is more emergency all hands on deck and just hang on. A new pastor comes in January, and I finish teaching two classes. Perhaps after all the storm I can really dwell on how I over commit and stress eat as well as not take time to focus and make priorities to my own health and well being. I feel like over the last two months I’ve gotten fitness demoralized. I even missed volleyball last night.
　
Don’t forget any reply before Dec 25th gets a chance at a dvd to be given away after Christmas. (see the post below this one for detials)
　
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Maybe I can get some more interesting reading/ Artwork up before the big day… but no promises I may not be able to do at the moment.
　
At Foolsfitness we love the Lord Jesus Christ… however sometimes there feels like a bit of an evil buzz around the holiday time of Christmas almost if it‘s some kind of cover up conspiracy to try to hide the message of God‘s love for us. -Alan

Toon Tuesday Christmas Giveaway (YOU MIGHT WIN DVD PRIZE!)

2009-12-07T21:38:00.000-08:00

Foolsfitness has a couple of DVD’s to give away to wish people a Merry Christmas! Enter at any and ALL blog posting(s) from this one to Christmas(but once per blog post) by just commenting with a reply gets you an automatic chance… right up to midnight Christmas eve. That’s right, check back often and leave a comment at EACH bog posting for yet another chance to win! I’ll pick two winners (one for art and one for general posting reply) just after Christmas. Here is details… 2 ways to enter:
　
FIRST, just leave a reply in the comment section as I mentioned. Tell me about something you love about Christmas, normally comment about the blog entry, Or just even just say hi. Only once per blog post I‘ll count, however you may post *EACH* blog post for a greater chance to win. I will consider any reply (one per post) between now and in any of my blog postings up to midnight of Christmas eve. The winner (chosen at random) will get to pick among one of the 2 DVDs not chosen by the Art winner. The Art winner gets first choice… hey, I’m an artist, I’m partial.
　
SECOND… because I’m an artist naturally I love art and want to encourage people to make some! Create some kind of art (drawing, painting, photography, sculpting, sewing, even a Christmas story…) as long as it is *newly made* and centers around the theme of “Christmas” in some way. Post it on your blog or somewhere and leave a comment in my replies with a link for me to see it. (my only real request here beyond it being 1) new and 2) loosely around Christmas theme and 3) Your art *not someone else’s* is that the Art be 4)*“family friendly”* in case younger viewers are also checking out your artwork) I’ll just pick amongst ones I like at the end for a winner of a DVD. Moreover that Winner gets pick among the DVD’s first. Even Moreover the moreover than that, you get to shamelessly promote your blog and or artwork! WOW! (ok… well at least it seems wow when I write this in the wee hours of the morning)
　
WHAT’S THE PRIZE??? Art winner gets first choice among three new DVD’s… Reply posting winner gets to choose among the other two left.
　
1) Billy Blanks TAE BO the strength within… believers workout
2) Latin Rhythm Workout by Kathy Smith… Hot Latin Sounds. Easy steps!
3) the RANDOM Black Box… You want to live on the edge, I’ll send you a surprise movie… just promise you’ll only watch it with low fat popcorn and diet soda!!!
　
DISCLAIMERS: I’m trying to make this simple and fun. I’ll ship worldwide as long as I can reasonably afford to. Um, if the DVD’s get abducted by aliens in shipment, damaged by fires started by zombie infestations, destroyed in some massive tsunami or I do before mailing them… My only excuse is I’m trying. Not everyone can win these, it’s just a game, you don’t need a DVD to reinforce the fact that you are a winner in much more important things already. Batteries not included. Some settling may occur. Professional driver on close track. Do not attempt at home. If winners don’t reply to notifications I’ll pick someone else… And any other disclaimers I forgot please insert here…X… Be reasonable!!! I’m trying to give away things here. I’m a vagabond artist not a lawyer Jim!
　
Ok, Happy Advent! Merry Christmas. Go easy on the Fruitcake.
　
At Foolsfitness we hate fruitcake and have banned it from our gyms. In fact we have fruitcake sensor checkpoints with fruitcake sniffing dogs at all entrances. -Alan